Yes hard to explain, but while I don’t care to state my age, lets just say I have been having WD’s well beyond the ages stated here, not as frequent as my teen’s, twenties and early 30’s but still have them and suspect I always will.
Trying to explain as best and I can and to my understanding of how it works, there is a physical and spiritual component to sex, the spiritual component is best explained as the emotional component of sex, the bonding between the 2 people.
Before sexuality develops, we as children can and do emotionally attach to our friends and schoolmates, pretty much ‘innocently’ as sexuality (and sexual emotional attachments) has not developed in us yet. But we still do connect with our friends and family on a ‘innocent’ emotional level even at this stage. This emotional attachment goes beyond just our physical being and its limits, but can and is suppose to connect with others, ultimately, like so many philosophies, in a ‘we are all connected’, and ‘we are all one with each other’ sense. Children are much more in touch with this deep connection then adults normally.
When we start to develop the ability for sex in our teens, it is a new physical ability that comes with a new sexual emotional attachment component. At first this emotional component is uncontrolled and attaches very much like in childhood, going out to everyone you know, just like the childhood attachments, but only with the sexual component now added in.
Highschools, in a spiritual sense, are blind orgy fests with sexual emotional attachment going out to each and all, sharing between classmates, not really knowing who our sexual energy is attaching to or know the person who is connecting to us. This is the reason for the wet dreams and the ‘pop up boner’ when you may not be even thinking of sex like in the middle of math class or something. It is some else’s connection to you that is exciting you, and you do the same to others you connect with.
It is also what allows what I call the ‘bad boy syndrome’ that girls seem to go through, where a girl desires sex with the typical ‘dirtbag guy’, it is not his sexual energy she is feeling nor his heart, but some guys energies that she is using (unknowingly) to be able to have a physical relationship with him (this is the basis for the love triangle aspect I stated above). In this case she thinks she sees something good in this ‘dirtbag guy’, but that part she is attracted to is really the heart of the other guy which she has unknowing connected to. And usually if the ‘good guy’ cuts ties with her, she will cease to see any good in the ‘dirtbag guy’ and typically end the relationship.
Sometime in our late teen’s early twenties we learn to control this energy, we target where it goes and who it connects with. We also unfortunately but commonly learn to block the emotional (spiritual) connection, and just have it as mostly a physical act. This limits our ability to connect emotionally with others on a soul to soul level, which limits the times and chances to experience wet dreams, as the wet dream experience is that soul to soul emotional attachment.
So to help experience the wet dreams again as I see it, you must make sure you are emotionally open, not reserved in this, which means you will put yourself in vulnerable positions on a emotional level and can and will get hurt at times but allow the healing that comes. Invest emotionally in others. You will also want to find other people who likewise put their heart out and really care for others. A heart to heart bonding should occur, though that by itself does not mean that sexuality and wet dreams will flow, it could, it depends on what type of bond naturally forms, typically it will be one or more of the following parent-child, child-parent, child-child, adult-adult, and/or mates (w/ sexual energy attachment).
There is a lot more to all this, including good vs bad bonds, positive mutual building relationships vs negative parasitic relationships, and blocks on sexual energy flow, including starting to get aroused by thinking about someone then it suddenly stops like a door closes and even sexual dysfunction.