There is a huge distance between “X is common” and “not X is odd and bizarre.”
Alcohol at social gatherings is common in North America. At the same time, absence of alcohol at social gatherings isn’t “odd and bizarre.”
But even if it were, I don’t get how merely wondering about it is “odd and bizarre.” America is a pretty diverse society. Why is it odd and bizarre to wonder about that diversity?
There are lots of people in North America who don’t drink, and it’s not just alcoholics and ultra-religious people.
My brother-in-law (my gf’s brother) had to stop at work on his way to his first party with his gf’s family. His gf went to her parent’s home early to help with the cooking. She told him her parents never had alcohol in their home.
So, on his way to the party he picked up a twelve pack, iced it down in a cooler, and arrived ready to enjoy himself. I guess there were raised eyebrows, but he didn’t notice.
Wine at dinner - common
Beer - also common (we used to get any old thing but now there are beer snobs in the family). We no longer have teenagers but even they might have one (it is legal in Wisconsin).
Bloody Marys and Margaritas have been served, but not a common thing.
And last Christmas Eve I had some Mexican thing (it was like a egg nog)
Yeah, according to the chart in this article, around 30% of Americans don’t drink at all, and the next two deciles don’t really drink all that much either. That’s half the country drinking less frequently than once a month. (This was my experience growing up. My parents weren’t opposed to alcohol, they just hardly ever drank it. And we never had it at family occasions.)
My side of the family has Methodist roots. There is generally a small amount of beer at family gatherings, but I can’t imagine anyone having more than 1-2 drinks. That would be shocking.
My husband’s side of the family is Episcopalian and Catholic. There is a lot of drinking with both sets of relatives - wine amongst the Catholics and mixed drinks with the Episcopalians. After two and a half decades of attending events with his family, I still find it kind of scandalous that people consume so much alcohol in a family setting.
My family’s not religious or against alcohol or anything but that being said I have NEVER seen alcohol at any family gathering in my entire life. When I was growing up my dad would have the occasional beer but that was the extent of it. I have never seen any family member drink, let alone get drunk. When I found out that some people get drunk at family events it just boggled my mind. Like, WHY would you want to have your parents see you drunk? Or even see your parents get drunk? It was actually a huge issue with my ex-husband and I, as he wanted to keep hard liquor in the house and have some at night. I put my foot down on that because it just seemed so wrong to me even in a casual setting.
His side of the family: Irish/German so always beer and at holidays they do sparkling wine. A few times hard liquor has shown up.
My side of the family: German/Native American so whiskey, beer and, back in the day, weed.
His side of the family has only seen me drunk once (at our wedding) otherwise I am the Designated Driver (usually, now, but sometimes one of our sons will drive us home if they aren’t in a turkey coma). My side has seen him drunk because we go camping together and as before I am usually the DD from any parties that require us to drive home.
Back in the day there were some epic fights (sil vs mil: 2 tiny women that went nuts but I only heard about that one because we left when things started getting tense) but that crowd is pretty old now and tend to head to bed instead of getting that sloshed.
Different strokes. Around here, it’s pretty much inconceivable to me to be at a family gathering and no alcohol being involved at all. This doesn’t mean one gets trashed at the events, but beer, wine, scotch, vodka, brandy–all that is normal. Even at Sunday dinners with my parents, we usually have wine and beer, and I have a little scotch after dinner, if I’m in the mood. But being Polish-American, and living amongst a lot of drinking cultures here, that’s pretty much par for the course.
I grew up in a Methodist tee-totaling household. I’m sure this joke has been told before (and better!) but you couldn’t have drinking at a social gathering because something even worse might break out – like dancing.
My family and my husband’s family are both Catholic, and as others have noted, therefore are drinkers. My Italian-American parents are part owners of a vineyard. Even before they made their own wine, though, they drank wine every night with dinner. All the more so at larger gatherings and celebrations.
Seriously though, the wife’s mom is a drinker, so yes. My parents don’t drink anymore, but they have no problems with people drinking. My mom did pay for my bartending school way back in the day, after all.
I am wondering if these statements represent your opinion or the opinions of your parents. I don’t know anyone who thinks drinking in front of kids is “low class” and that it’s only done by very rich or very poor. So if you do believe this I guess I have to ask why? My family and friends are neither very rich nor very poor yet no one worries about who sees them drinking as long as they don’t get falling down drunk (which they don’t). I have heard of no one (even a teetotaler) who thinks drinking in public is like reading porn in public (or pooping in public?)! Unless you do?
They are neither my opinion, nor my parents’ opinion, and they are in fact not personal opinions at all. They reflect a particular ethno-religious-socio-cultural group’s attitude towards alcohol consumption.
Are you suggesting that the universe of cultural attitudes regarding alcohol around the world is represented in full by the people you know personally?
Pretty much it’s around but not everyone drinks, nobody gets hammered until the last hour of the event (someone else drives them).
(Read on if you want, not hijacking the post)
On the Subject of alcoholism. This term “recoverING” is used a lot, I don’t quite understand it. I used to drink quite heavily for like 5 years (only at night, smashed most nights) and oft wondering if I was an alcoholic. I didn’t get shakes or headaches or anything, but one night, after a relative died, was my last night, the next day I stopped. stayed at a friends house for a few days (mostly to get away) and even took ativan for 3 days in case I was perhaps an alcoholic, so i wouldn’t die from a seizure or something. I really wanted a drink the next two days, but mostly I was just bored as hell without it. After that, I can be around alcohol all the time, it could sit in front of me and often does when I’m highly stressed too, even if its free and offered, I decline, I have literally zero temptation to drink again (wallet is much fatter, I’m much thinner). I would consider that a case of “RecoverED”. Most people just thought I drank a lot though, never in mornings, never drove drunk, never interfered with life. So I am not sure If i was one or not… (spare me the “if you think you are one, you are” stuff, thats a joke)
