Whether alcohol is present or not doesn’t bother me. What bothers me are people who believe alcohol must be present to enjoy a party, or “get together”. Seriously, though, those who feel alcohol must be present at a party show, to me, they are lacking in social graces. I remember two such parties I attended. One, a wedding reception, was held at a church social hall that has a No Alcohol policy. The other was a dinner hosted by someone who did not provide alcohol in order for socializing to occur without people getting a little tipsy. That was during college days when my friends (and I) would drink to get tipsy, and beyond.
The initial Hey where’s the booze? questions were lighthearted jesting by most who made a point to say it, and lighthearted jesting was fine, but I remember some dwelling on it and I found that to be not very polite.
Alcohol can be a tool to loosen people up and let them let their hair down, but it can also be a crutch for some. I’ve certainly used it both ways.
“…I remember when a cousin married a Korean gal and her family did the planning; there was a lot of grumbling in our family because all the beer was stuff like stouts and IPAs.”
If I’m ever in the market again, I’ll have to consider a Korean gal myself! That’s my kind of people/beer!
I guess it must vary from family to family. If I (or my gf, she’s with me on this) attend a family “get together”, I’m with a diverse group of people whose only reason for getting together is the happenstance of being related.
I have very little in common with many of my relatives, and we would not all be getting together were we not related.
My dad’s side of the family is Polish and as mentioned above, alcohol’s present always - Christmas, Thanksgiving, Summer BBQ, random ‘get together’, Sunday dinner, pretty much any time. Beer (microbrews), good wine, lots of high-end liquor is what’s there, and what people drink depend on personal taste. In fact, now that my cousins and I are of an age to start affording our own high-end liquor, we’re in a big of a combination to find the best scotches/bourbons out there and sip all sorts of tasty things to try at these events. No one pushes it on anyone who doesn’t feel like drinking, and it’s really rare for anyone to get full-bore drunk. We’re also responsible and careful about who’s driving. On the very rare occasion we’re all somewhere where driving isn’t necessary (hotel-based wedding, for instance), people’ll start to cut loose, but even then no one seems to hit the “falling down drunk” stage.
My mom’s side is Irish, and they’re most crappy beer drinkers (Coors Light), and often more to excess than is needed. Weddings/big family events are pretty interesting when that side starts imbibing.
That’s the environment I grew up in. My wife’s family, on the other hand, was never big drinkers - occasionally a glass of wine when out at a nice meal, or a Bloody Mary or something. Even the “4 glasses of wine” at Passover (they’re Jewish) were generally very small glasses of wine, or some sort of non-alcoholic substitute (e.g. grape juice). They’ve mellowed a bit as they’ve aged. No ones really opposed to alcohol, its just not their thing. Was a little weird when I started going to their family events to not have a glass of something to sip. There was a little bit of friction when my wife started drinking more than her family ever did (meaning more than 1 glass of wine every 6 months), but we got over that eventually.
All that said - I wonder how much of this is regionally based? Growing up in the Northeast, having a big open bar (that was well attended constantly) at weddings was the norm. When I started going to friends’ or more-distant family weddings and such, it was weird to me to find that some places traditionally were confined to just beer/wine, if they had alcohol at all.
Heh. My dad, too. I wouldn’t leave him along until he let me have a sip of his Old Style. I don’t have any memories going back to when I was 3, but I’m guessing 4 or 5.
Our family only got together for funerals and the family is dwindling so we don’t meet up much anymore. But back in the day, yes, it’s a funeral, and there would be beer and wine available.
I am absolutely 100% lacking in social graces. I hold the drink to A)have something to do with my hands and more importantly B) have an excuse to get out of a horrible conversation by “needing to go refill”. Oh, and 98% of the conversations are horrible.
Well, I can’t tell if this is a quip or a serious question, but in the event of the latter, in my family and group of friends, everyone. It’s usual to bring a bottle of something when going to a party. And it may be as something as simple as a bottle of wine or a six- or twelve-pack of beer, but it can also be a fifth (or more) of liquor. The host will also have their own base stash of liquor, but, given a couple of parties, there will be more. Hence why my folks have something like 50 or more bottles of liquor in their house.
(ETA snfaulkner: ) C) putting a good buzz on.
Although my last family get together was dry, they all aren’t. A few St. Patrick’s days ago my brother in law threw a party featuring an in-home breathalyzer. (It was assumed the drunks were in for the night,) He had a table full of prizes, and at periodic times the breathalyzer was put into action- highest reading wins a prize. We ended up breaking the thing, and the last thing I remember was my brother dragging me to my sleeping place by my feet. My sister put the nix on a repeat party the next year.
My mother was named after a prominent feminist educationalist (a nod to her fathers side), and after her great-aunt, the founder of the Women’s Temperance Union (from her mothers side).
My dad wasn’t against it on principle, but he was extremely sensitive to the stuff: he couldn’t drink at all, and the only time I ever saw him gagging was on soaked/infused French patisserie.
The kids split 50/50. I don’t drink at all, but some of the others do.
Marijuana was legal in the US until 1937 (so, much longer than 50 years) and in most of the rest of the world, but it never became a standard, normal thing to serve at family social gatherings the way alcohol is. I wouldn’t be surprised if a good number of people do enjoy legal pot, but I doubt that even 50 years from now it’s going to become as standard as alcohol.
Seriously, though, those who feel alcohol must be present at a party show, to me, they are lacking in social graces. I remember two such parties I attended. One, a wedding reception, was held at a church social hall that has a No Alcohol policy. The other was a dinner hosted by someone who did not provide alcohol in order for socializing to occur without people getting a little tipsy. That was during college days when my friends (and I) would drink to get tipsy, and beyond.