Your whole family is at a party. Who is MOST LIKELY to make a drunken, sloppy mess of themselves?

You don’t have to name names, but you can if you want in order to differentiate between family members that are the same thing to you.

Me, I’d say either my cousin Andy or my cousin Bobby. Andy has been known to hit the bottle while alone fairly often and Bobby has shown up to parties already drunk.

After a certain hour, my dad is known as “Fun Bob.”

Wha…wha you talkin’ about? Whooooooooooooo! Hey, hand me that lampshade!

My sister Cindy. She isn’t happy till she’s sloppy drunk and thinks she’s the life of the party. Everyone else wishes she would leave. She can’t understand why she’s not invited to more family gatherings.


But only by default, since my family doesn’t have parties with alcohol and even if they did I would probably be the only one drinking at all.

None of them, because people in my family don’t drink. We have really boring family reunions. But that doesn’t really matter, because I might not ever go to another family reunion. After this summer, I don’t plan on having any contact with my mom’s brother or sisters, so no more family reunions for me.

In my family, it’s more like, who’s LEAST likely to make a drunken, sloppy mess of themselves.

My wife’s sister’s husband. He’s got a problem with that (and he’s a mean, not a happy, drunk). To the point where he’s less than welcome at family events, and knowing he’s comming anyway means that the bottles are taken off the table to avoid trouble.

We also take bottles off the table for my dad’s sister’s husband, but that is a very different situation - he had a drinking problem that he overcame with much struggle, and he doesn’t touch a drop, but it is unnecessarily cruel to drink right in front of him.

I guess it would be me. Yikes.

My brother-in-law. No alcohol required.

It used to be my dad (and all of the Indian men, pretty much) but now no one in either family drinks much. Most of them don’t drink at all.

In my family, even if people are serving and drinking alcohol, no one would get drunk in front of an elder, and the eldest elders don’t drink.

Nobody. We drink but not to excess.

But a few years ago, it would have been one of my youngest nephews. Got into some trouble in college and has to stay away from drugs & alcohol as per his parole conditions. His parents can’t even have alcohol in their home when he’s visiting.

Wow, interesting thought experiment. We drink, but we all do and nobody really stands out. One of my nephews tends to “get sleepy” aka “time travel” so maybe lil Brian would be a good answer.

Nobody is really likely in my family to get sloppy, but I’m the heaviest drinker. Luckily I’m a happy, laughing drunk rather than one of the party killing types (belligerent, weepy/maudlin).

Sadly, that would be one of my older male cousins, who is belligerent and passive-agressive when drunk. I’m sure he’d be stoned on pot, too, probably before the festivities began.

My sister. Honestly, she’d probably show up to the party as a drunken mess.

It would have to be me. None of us are very likely to make a drunken, sloppy mess of ourselves, But I drink more often than the rest of them. There wa a dear departed relative who would have won out easily.

That’s the question for my family too. The answer to it is me.

Maybe me, maybe my second daughter. Oh, make it her since I’ve cut my alcohol intake way back now that I’m social security eligible. But she’s a happy, amenable drunk (like me!) and would be unlikely to get really shitfaced around my generation.

Alcohol and cannabis viewpoints and behaviors among family groups can be interesting topics to me sometimes.