SSIA. Basically, is there any animal out there that would produce some weird mutant animal/human if a man had sex with it and got it pregnant? Any animal at all?
Unknown. We have two current or recently active threads on the possibility of a bonobo or chimp cross. It is unlikely but theoretically possible that a human could produce a hybrid with these species, which are the most closely related to us. Beyond these, the chances become increasingly remote with increasing distant relationship; anything beyond the Great Apes is almost certainly impossible without some kind of artificial genetic engineering.
Well any animal, then sure! There is this fairly common ape called Homo sapiens sapiens
Not currently as far as we know, but we might have been able to mate with Neanderthals.
If you want to “make a kid,” it’d have to be a goat. Not possible.
“Nature,smature.I want my monkeyboy!”,Bart Simpson
Almost certainly not. For starters, the molecular bonding sites that allow sperm to fuse to ovum are subject to mutation, forming an absolute barrier to non-compatable crossbreeding. This is probably one key mechanism of speciation, when a subpopulation forms that can no longer interbreed with the population it derived from. Also, any chromosomal mismatch is a show-stopper; even with humans, chromosomal abberations lead to all kinds of developmental problems.
Huh? Dolphins and the false killer whale have different chromosome numbers, and there’s a dolphin/false killer whale hybrid living in a sea park in Hawaii (and she’s successfully produced a calf with a male dolphin!). So do horses and donkeys, and there’s plenty of mules around.
Yes, as Mississippiene says, differences in chromosome number or morphology do not necessarily prevent a hybrid from being produced. they can, however, prevent interspecies hybrids from being fertile (although even this is not always the case) due to problems during meiosis.
Are we as close to chimps as:
A lion to a tiger?
A horse to a donkey?
Various small, wild cats to domestic cats?
A wolf to a domestic dog?
etc.?
I don’t know how large a chimpanzee’s uterus is but I would not be shocked if a human female could carry a h. sapien/p. troglodyte or h. sapien/p. chimpanzee hybrid. The fact that I would not be shocked by it does not, of course, mean it could happen.
If it could’ve happened by now, it would’ve. Just sayin’.
We are substantially farther from chimps than any of those pairs.
The split between hominids (our lineage) and other apes was probably at least 5 million years ago.
Tiger and lion lineages may have split about two million years ago.
The horse and donkey lineages probably split about 2.4 million years ago.
Domestic dogs and wolves split no more than a few tens of thousands of years ago (genetic and fossil evidence is somewhat contradictory), and domestic cats and wild cats more recently than that.
You’d have to look at something like the gibbon/siamang hybrid that was brought up in the other thread to find something potentially more genetically distant than a chimp/human or bonobo/human hybrid would be. I’m not sure when camels and llamas split, but they’ve been successfully corssbred. Bison and cows-- they might be more genetically distant.
The American bison and the domestic cow have been successfully crossbred for a while now.
Google “beefalo” to learn more.
People from Chicago?
Yes, I know. That’s why I mentioned them along with camels and llamas (which also have been successfully crossbred).
Another thing to consider in terms of the genetic distance between humans and chimps/bonobos is that we migth have split from that line more than once. Recent DNA analysis indiscates that possibly there was a split around 9-10M years ago, then a remerging for some time before there was a later split 5-6M years ago. This is a pretty new hypothesis, though, and I don’t know how well it has been accepted among biologists.
I’ll buy that. A human/chimp hybrid might actually be an easier birth for a human female than a human birth because AFAIK a chimp has a much smaller head at birth than a human baby does (they look more like little chimps than human babies look like little humans). Of course, this means the reverse might be problematic: a human/chimp hybrid carried to term by a female chimp would be harder for the chimp. If memory serves, because chimps don’t usually walk upright their pelvic structure is weaker; as a result, the archway built into the pelvis is larger than humans. This might be enough to mitigate the effects of a human/chimp baby with a large head.
The real issue, though, is ethical: would the hybrid legally be considered human? 
Who would raise it, humans or chimps?
Besides that, it’s unlikely that the hybrid could be delivered by a non-human female unless a c-section were planned. BTW, Chimps typically weigh only ~4 lbs at birth, so they’re quite a bit smaller than baby humans, and the gestation period is 7-8 months.
Also, I assume you mean P. troglodytes and P. paniscus (bonobo)-- there is no such species as P. chimpanzee.