But your experience is apparently not universal, as demonstrated by other posters. I don’t have kids, but in my circle of friends, the default is to not bring them, while in my family, it is to bring them. In the first case, not only there’s no way it would be perceived as rude to ask someone not to bring his kids, but also it wouldn’t be an issue at the first place, because it would be the parents who would politely ask if they can bring them, not the other way around.
Well, I certainly agree that it’s not rude to make the ‘adults only’ request. But be prepared to not have people show up from time to time.
Hell, I’m not certain I would want to show up. Lady Chance and I are famous for bringing the kids everywhere and NOT showing up to adults only events at this point. (Well, given that we live 350 miles from our pals is a factor, too, these days!).
In short, we like being with our kids. We like it more than our pals, for that matter. (I once was quoted as saying (by my secretary in her hearing and she never let me forget it) “My friends. I don’t really like them that much.”))
In short, we’re a special case. We’re not really joiners. And we enjoy our family interaction much more than any other type.
Part of that is clearly my family upbringing in Chicago. My grandparents owners a small factory/shop. My parents worked there for a while. My uncles were salesmen. My cousins worked in the shop. My aunt was the receptionist. You get the idea.
There were one or two family friends but the rest of the social interaction was among the 100 or so ‘closest family’ if you get me. I just see more value in family from that.
So go ahead and declare an event a ‘no kids’ zone. But be prepared to have that alter your social circle, possibly permanently.