I would never do it so long as I have a family, but I think about suicide, (or just dying), a lot. Even when I’m at my happiest, I would sometimes daydream about it. It makes me wonder if other people aren’t, (to a lesser extent), the same way.
It’s kind of morbid for people to admit you daydream about suicide every now and then, which makes me wonder if it’s not just something people may casually think about, but never talk about.
(BTW – I mean it, I would never kill myself with my family around; It’s not fair to them. And if any of you are concerned about my “dark” thoughts… just know I’m seeing someone in the next few days, and trying to be a little less gloomy).
All I want to know is… do “every day people” really not fantasize about it from time-to-time, just as they would about winning the lottery, or getting the opportunity of doing something heroic?
I never do anymore. But back in my depressed days I thought about it all the time.
When I was a senior in high school I took a class in psychology. One day we had a guest speaker, a guy that worked as a suicide worker. He talked people down from ledges and stuff like that.
He asked the class if anyone in the room had ever thought about suicide before. Everyone but one girl in the class raised their hands.
tdn When you were depressed, did you ever wonder the same thing I’m wondering now? That perhaps most people think about it, because for you it was “normal”?
Well, I’ve had thoughts to the effect of “Maybe if I wasn’t here, my family would appreciate me more”, but suicidal thoughts? No. I like living too much.
To the OP (I always grin at your username, btw), I’m glad you’re scheduled to see someone, and hope you can get some resolution.
Thank you… I didn’t want to make this about me. I REALLY do wonder about this. To be honest I really expected some people to say ‘yes’ to the question.
I have thoughts about never existing too. Whenever I’m having a good day, (even today isn’t treating me bad), I would always ask myself, as a whole; ‘Would I trade in the good times, for just never being born?’, the answer is always yes. I think I would be better off being nothing and the world would be better off without me. Even my family.
Part of the reason I asked too, was because a friend admitted to me she thinks about it a lot as well, but only as a fantasy.
Thanks again for wishing me well. I really hope It’s exclusive to me and a handful of others. I’m glad to see people respond; “no” to the question.
I have never seriously contemplated killing myself - ever. It’s just a thought that doesn’t come up. The idea of “fantasizing about suicide” is just way out in left field for me.
I think it’s normal to think about it from time to time. Probably most people have an instant notion of how they’d do it if they had to whether they admit it or not. Actually writing out a letter or buying the means or thinking of it more than occasionally is probably a signal to get help.
A quote from my mother (who threatened suicide more often than most try out new recipes):
When I was a teenager I thought about it quite a bit, not explicitly but more along the lines of “if I didn’t exist.” Also when i had undiagnosed hypothyroid in my early 30s I used to think things like “If I were dead things would just be so much easier!”
I haven’t thought anything like that in a while, but then again, lately I haven’t felt like I’ve had time to think what-ifs at all really (you know, what if I won the lottery, etc.), so that’s probably part of it.
I think it matters how you’re defining “thinking about suicide.” Anyone who has seen the movie It’s a Wonderful Life has contemplated what the world would be like without them. As to whether non-depressed people think about suicide often, or whether the thought occurs to them unprovoked by fiction or by hearing about someone who committed suicide? I seriously doubt it.
I, like you, have never considered following through with, or even threatened to actually kill myself–I’ve always been too chickenshit of pain and the finality of death to actually do it. But I’ve been depressed for most of my teen and adult life as a result of sex shit that happened when I was 11, and I have cycled through phases of what is called “suicidal ideation” (and which it sounds like you are engaging in). But even I don’t idealize suicide very frequently. Only in my darkest moments.
I don’t think you belong on a suicide watch or anything like that. But I do suspect your depression is worse than you seem to think. I do not think it’s normal to think about suicide randomly on a daily or even weekly basis. (IANADr)
My life is very lonely and unfulfilling,and I guess a day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about it. The only thing keeping me around is my pack of silly dogs that love me and need me and wouldn’t understand if Mama wasn’t here any more.
I have contemplated suicide for about 40 years. For much of the past decade or so it’s been a daily thought. I have even made some half-assed weak-assed attempts and I have it penciled in my day planner, but will probably have to rescheduled it as there is some prep work that I need to do that I have done yet.
Of course the doctors believe that I have suffered from some form of depression nearly all my life.
Before prozac, during my worst bouts of depression, I would often experience a longing for death. But it was more of a wish to fall asleep and not wake up. I never fantasized about actually shooting myself or swallowing pills or whatever.
I guess that still counts though.
I don’t do that anymore. My life still sucks, but I don’t wish to die. Progress, not perfection is my goal.
I recall from my psych nursing days that the belief was that more people at some time have suicidal thoughts than never have them. Worse yet, amongst the people I trained with it was almost universal.
