Talk about it with your doctor.
I think about it daily. Sometimes it’s more like a whimsical daydream that I know I would never follow through with. Sometimes it’s like something to look forward to, with a half-assed plan and everything.
I don’t think my fixation with it is exactly normal, but I don’t know if it absolutely positively points to depression.
I think about it several times a day. I am a miserable git by nature. I am however highly unlikely to ever attempt it for two main reasons:
-
Quite the opposite of the “they’d be better off without me” mindset, I am all too aware that I have a wife and young child who would be emotionally (and financially) devastated if I died; and
-
Things might get better. I can always die tomorrow if they don’t, and if I wait until enough tomorrows go by the point will become moot anyway. Or, to put it another way, what Chesterton said.
I remember when I first went to a mental health centre they made fill out a questionnaire about depression and, I felt better for while because most of the questions I could chose the middle box. But a friend explained that when given the choices:
I think about ending my life…
[ul]
[li]all the time[/li][li]most of the time[/li][li]a lot[/li][li]sometimes[/li][li]never[/li][/ul]
…the middle anwser is not always the average answer
Oh and all my suicide plans are rejected for being too unoriginal or too unpractical…
I just wanted to note the (presumably) unintentional black comedy in both your username (in the context of this thread) and in the idea that you can only kill yourself if you come up with a suitably original way to do it.
extra post to add
thanks for that link Gyrate, made me feel better
I don’t think it’s that abnormal.
I never think about suicide when I’m in a good mood or just generally content. The thought doesn’t even cross my mind.
But I tend to fantasize about it briefly, usually after a really big fight with someone or when I get really pissed off at someone. And it’s usually like “If I jumped out the window now, they’d probably be really sorry they acted that way, and they should be sorry” and for a few seconds, depending on how angry I am, it even feels like a legitimate idea - but I know I could never do it. I’m scared of death 100% of the time.
And after I few hours I usually feel a lot better and wonder what the hell was I even thinking.
I have often thought about it, but in a fairly detached kind of way, and always ending with “no way I could ever do that, or would want to”. If my parents taught me anything (and actually they have taught me a lot), it is that no problem is so bad that death is the best way out.
I can’t say I’ve ever given suicide much thought, but I’ll admit to having times when thinking that being in a fatal car accident or hit by a bus wouldn’t be all bad. And of course, thinking about the consequences of that for my family.
Then again, it’s been suggested that I could have a mental health diagnosis of my very own if I cared enough to pursue it. Not by professionals, by family member.
My answer is remarkably similar to Eureka–I don’t think about suicide much, at least not since my teenage years, but every now and then I think it would be much easier if an aneurysm blew and I just dropped dead. And then I immediately think about my husband and daughter and realize that I’m being horribly selfish, and I move on.
Another depressive checking in here. I don’t know why, but no matter how much I circle the drain, I have never ever contemplated suicide. For some reason my default dread setting never gets past “old/alone/poor/sick/cat-pee smell/hovel.”
I was baptized but not raised Catholic, yet for some reason my brain trots out this idea that if I were to commit suicide I wouldn’t get into heaven, nor get to see beloved relatives/cats/friends waiting for me up there.
I dunno, maybe my brain just puts that idea there as a stop-gap measure, because it works.
I don’t for one second buy into that ‘suicide is selfish, short-sighted, just-pull-yerself-up-by-yer-bootstraps, by cracky!-preventable’ idea. Having said that, I’m very glad you’re talking to us here, and are going to see someone. Let us know how things go, ok?
I find it a little distressing that some of you would consider it if not for the loved ones in your lives. I mean for god’s sake, if that’s all that’s preventing you from doing it, then by all means let that prevent you! But I find it sad that you don’t see your value in the world. I hope that you’re able to find it.
I’ve thought about it a lot as of late. Or rather, the idea of it, but not actually doing it. I just can’t get over the inevitable mess that a corpse creates, and my phobia of ghosts. I’m afraid of them enough as it is, imagine if I somehow became one. That’s a personal hell right there. And yes, my main motivation for not doing it is I think of the people who’d miss me.
There is a huge difference between thinking about something and actually doing something.
I think about not being alive a lot, particularly since my life is in the pits now. But thinking about actually killing myself and making plans to do so? No!
A lot of it is that I don’t have a wife, and I don’t have children, (thank God). And maybe “suicide” was the wrong word to use; “Death” may be more appropriate.
I believe, (like a lot of people here), that nothing happens to you after you die. ‘Nothing’ sounds fantastic to me, (nothing against those people who love life – I really wish I felt that way). But to those who don’t exactly like their job, or don’t have a job, or are are poor, lonely, depressed, scared to get out of bed, knowing they are going to see loved ones die themselves, or even if you have some of these issues – Why would it be unusual to daydream of “nothing”. I mean… how many people really don’t wonder how they would do it? The act is not something I condone. It’s selfish. And I hope all the dopers saying that they think about it feel the same way.
What’s really sad is how much, I (personally) have; I have a job, (that I hate, and I can only ‘handle’ working part-time), Parents that are still together, who love me, and tried to provide a good lifestyle for me as a child, And a brother that’s willing to help me along after my folks are gone. I don’t know “loss” like some people do, (and fear it when it will come). It would be devastating for my parents or my brother if I were to die. But thinking about death doesn’t make me feel like I’m thinking about anything wrong.
As to finding purpose;
I don’t have much to give the world, I rely on taxpayers to survive because of my learning disability and depression and anxiety. I want to contribute, but I can barely even drive.
I want to be a good person! 
I want to save a life, or volunteer, give to those who have less than me.
No, I don’t think about it anymore.
I believe I have value.
I believe that sometimes I’m funny, that sometimes I can bring people smiles, and that sometimes I write rather well. I believe that very few people think the exact same way that I do, which can make my perspective somewhat unique and vaguely interesting.
I believe that I’m good to my friends, great to my kids, that I actually make the offices I’ve worked in more fun to be at on a daily basis, and that in some small way each and every day, I make the world a better place.
I believe that I have flaws.
I believe that I can be selfish, that I can be self absorbed, that I can be single-minded to my own detriment. I work on overcoming these like some people might work on a classic car. And while some days I fail, I balance those against the days I don’t.
And I believe that its my flaws, mixed with my qualities, that make me who I am… and that who I am is worthy of existence. Yesterday. Today. And Tomorrow.
I think that that is the key right there. Everyone has value but not everyone can see their own.
Professionals tend to categorize suicidal thoughts into three levels, with the last being the most serious.
Ideation: fantasies, thoughts that one’s life is not worth living, etc.
Plan: well, a plan, obviously.
Intent: another obvious one, I suppose. Having not just a plan, but intending to do it.
Ideation is far more common than having a plan and intent. For lots of people (myself included), thoughts of death or suicide are just where we go when we are really sad. It is a symptom of depression, but it is neither necessary nor sufficient to diagnose depression.
Tried that. Doctors have no solutions.
That makes sense, since you can’t have intent without having a plan, and you can’t have a plan without having ideation. It’s like building a pyramid. The base is always going to be the widest part.