Do your kids have a general problem with self-control? Because if not, it seems more manipulative than anything else.
Also, self-control can be self-taught amongst siblings, without any parental intervention, via competition. My twin sister and I used to do it all the time. Daddy would bring home a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and give us one each. Then the two of us would compete to see who could eat their donut the slowest. Most times she won; only a few times did I win (at least, that’s how my memory plays it out :p). My point is that we were teaching ourselves, without knowing it, how to delay gratification.
I’m betting just giving the two their own allotment of ice cream sandwiches, without any additional incentive, will test their strengths of will. Because it won’t take that long for one of them to figure out that if they eat all their ice cream sandwiches on Monday (ouch, sick tummy!) and the sibling is able to dangle hers in the other’s face by the end of the week, that next time the “loser” is going to do the same thing, except even more so.
I voted neutral on this because while I think the lesson you are trying to teach is important, I also think it would have been kinder to let them each have one ice cream bar to eat, and then make the dollar deal for the rest. That way they aren’t making their decision from a position of being desperate for something cold and creamy on a sweltering hot day, but from a position of being sated and not in “need” (yes, I know they don’t “need” it). But to make them wait nearly a week for even a taste seems a bit mean.
Once upon a time, Lawson’s milk stores would have sales on ice cream bars…10 for $1. My mom would buy all three of us ten ice cream bars, and they were put in labeled plastic boxes in the freezer. We could eat them whenever we wanted (except right before dinner) but when they were gone, they were gone…she would not buy any more at full price, we had no real money of our own and we certainly weren’t allowed to go up to Lawson’s on our own like all the other kids on the block who were known to squander a quarter or two a DAY on popsicles and the like. So we made those ice cream bars last. Oh, the first day or two, it was hard to ration, but after that it was much easier to delay gratification, because we weren’t desperate and craving. I don’t recall which of us “won” becasue it wasn’t a competition, but I’m sure my brother (9 years older and a bottomless pit with a paper route and permission to cross streets alone) did not feel as constrained as little old me. And if I had to guess, I’d think my sister (5 years older) “won” because she is the queen of cheap.
I think it’s a nice experiment and teaching tool. Most kids will eat the ice cream and not care about the money. You could try variations like more money or a sliding scale. Parents that try these different things inspire the kids to think.
PS. I knew a man who looked at all his kid’s college textbooks each year. After all, he was paying for those expensive texts. He was not so much reading them as finding a place to hide money. He would put a crisp bill tight to the binder at page 195 for example. Then he would check back later. While I see the obvious flaw in this system, at least the kid had to open a book. Surely, this was only one of many ploys he used. The kid was probably off balance and afraid to try to pull one over on the old man so to speak.
It reminds me of Skinner’s Walden Two. If I recall he had a lollipop with powdered sugar on it tied around the children’s necks, with similar reasoning.
I decided not to vote, as I am not a parent and I’m not sure I have sufficient experience to have a valid opinion.
Really bad idea. Using food as a reward or punishment confuses children and can cause insecurities, weight problems, etc. Food should be used as what it is–nourishment. If your goal is to steer them toward healthier treats then you should limit the amount of ice cream (once a week, for instance) and give them what you perceive as better snacks on other days. And if you are truly hungry, you should eat not postpone eating in order to get a reward. IMHO that’s screwed up thinking and sending a whole boatload of mixed emotions.
I voted neutral because while I don’t think this little experiment poses much danger to the children, I think there’s close to zero chance it will accomplish anything good either.
After reading the thread I’d skew a bit more towards “bad idea”; I hadn’t considered the possibility of contributing to psychological issues about food. I don’t think this alone would cause such issues, but if for whatever reason these kids are already developing food issues then this could be damaging.
Well, that makes sense to me when talking about food food, but an ice cream bar is a treat. There’s no reason to ever eat an ice cream bar. Many people live just fine without ever eating a single ice cream bar (I should know, I’m one of them).
Jesus Christ people. He’s not chaining the to a radiator and smacking them across the face with a ham hock. If going five days without an ice cream is going to cause them to develop anorexia there are some larger issues at play
I don’t think you have to have an ice cream bar every day. Just that I usually eat at least something sweet every day, and I don’t think that’s all that bad.
Most of the people I’ve known whose parents put restrictions on that tended to go crazy, in my experience, when allowed in an environment where they allowed to have what they wanted, whereas I usually just ate what I wanted in moderation, never gorging on it, since for me there weren’t any specific restrictions. Just, you know, eat regular meals and when I was hungry.
I don’t think they’ll get anorexia in five days. Just that if they associate not eating with being virtuous or good, that is kind of an easy road to go down. I think it’s better to treat food as just a thing. Not a good or a bad thing.
In addition, this was also cited in studies of multi-millionaires, rich people, successful entrepreneurs, etc. as one of the main factors in their success (the other factors being the ability to avoid procrastination, inability to be discouraged by criticism, and intense fear of failure.)
I don’t get why people think he’s using food as a reward. The reward is the money. They get the food either way.
And learning not to eat all your ice cream sandwiches at once is not the same as teaching your kids to not eat. It’s not teaching them that food is bad–it’s teaching them that delayed gratification is good. Something way too many people (including myself) need to learn.
You guys are really reaching when you try to make this about the food. To me, it screams that you guys are the ones with issues.
Is delayed gratification in terms of food all that good, though? I approach eating fairly intuitively. I eat when I’m hungry. The idea of putting it off to…when? seems weird.
Granted, I may be atypical. I have a very high metabolism, have never dieted or needed to, and am basically unable to eat when I’m not hungry. So for me stuff like, “I shouldn’t have eaten that” or “I need to learn to eat less” are things I’ve never had any experience with.
I don’t know; I think kids at that age are smart enough to know that you are ‘doing something’ to them, like experiments or what-sort. If they are three, yes, maybe.
Besides, if they are having self control issues already with other areas of their mind, maybe the OP should work on those instead? (Big IF here, by the way)
What happens in three months when one (or both) has a stack of “banked” ice-cream sandwiches two feet high and you have no more room in the freezer for real food?
ETA: Which is to say it’s an interesting idea (not a dumb one) but you need to think of the possible consequences.
I’m not really comfortable about you using delaying eating food as a reward, but then I grew up in a household with a lot of food issues, so I may be bringing my own experiences into this.
I like the concept of teaching delayed gratfication, and your kids are definitely the right age to be learning it, but I think it could be better used in other ways.
For example, if they recieve weekly pocket money, you could say that you will match each dollar they put in their piggy bank and don’t open until Christmas (or birthday, or some other date). So either they can blow their money each week, or they can save a portion of it and get a much larger sum on a particular date.
