IMO, it just seems like a women would write something like that. Sex for women is emotional and powerful. For men, it’s just sex. We wouldn’t need to write a paragraph like that. Ever. And if a man did write that, he’s a panzy.
Because a man’s quote would be this:
“Sexual intercourse is the most fundamentally powerful fun mind-blowing orgasmic good time there is on the face of the earth. It has the ability to give orgasms, the potential to take stress away, and to change your smile forever. It should be in the hands of anyone who can get some; and they should do it in as many ways as they can figure out. It shouldn’t be in your hands if it can be in their hands.”
There should be a smiliey here or something after that.
Anyhow, I agree with stupid and vapid.
How about:
“War is the most fundamentally powerful behavior there is on the face of the earth. It has the ability to take a life, the potential to destroy lives, and to change life forever. It shouldn’t be in the hands of anyone. It shouldn’t be in the hands of humans.”
I kind of like that one better.
What message should kids get about sex?
I think a realistic answer that actually answers their questions.
Then they might stop obsessing over it. And then they might think about it.
And then they might actually make decent choices about it.
Some won’t, and that’s life. Stuff happens.
We need to get over ourselves about sex in the USA. Seriously, I can see people
get killed a hundred million different ways before I’m 10, but heaven forbid I see
a tit. WTF mate?
Personally, I think this is ludicrously overstated. Yes, it is essential to the propagation of the species, but the adjectives in the above quote are just silly. How, exactly, does the word “powerful” apply to intercourse? It is required for procreation, but “powerful” and “required” are not the same. Did someone make a list of behaviors, and ascribe a power rating to them?
Frankly, the first sentence is nothing more than glurge.
I’ve had a lot of sex, but I would not say that the sex act in itself has ever been the most profound event in my life. Loving someone (including non-sexually), achieving personal goals, fun or amusing situations, sharing deeply considered thoughts about the nature of existence, tragic events, etc., all are better candidates. Even in sex acts, what lingers in memory isn’t the intercourse itself but the sense of intimate connectedness to the person; intercourse is an expression of that intimacy. It does not create it.
All true, but melodramatically stated. The threat of fatal results from intercourse is pretty remote these days. Also, it’s stated poorly. Intercourse in itself doesn’t have the ability to do anything: it’s an action, not an object.
There is no clear dividing line between adult and child. Any such divisions are arbitrary, often misleading, and have varied greatly in history and different cultures, not to mention the variance between the maturity of specific individuals!
My take on the quote in OP: it’s basically stupidity masquerading behind lofty rhetoric.
Frankly, I think overstating the “profound” or “meaningful” part of sex only interests teenagers in it even more - especially those teens who think it’ll bring them closer together with their partner. When I was in college and had sex for the first time, I told my slightly younger sister something to the effect of "Yeah, sex is fun, but it’s not some kind of mind-blowing, world-changing thing in itself. Don’t think that it’ll help a relationship, or make you an adult. I don’t feel any different now that I’m ‘no longer a virgin.’ "
No need, since it’s been discussed on this board anyway. And in GD, statutory rape laws are among the most popular debate topics.
When I hear “sex expert,” I just think it’s a woman (i.e. Dr. Ruth).
I was given similar advice once. Although it was actually by my tenth grade European History teacher. (Say nothing!) I have no idea why the subject came up in class, and I’m sure nobody asked him about it since no teen is going to ask a guy in his mid-40s about sex. Anyway, he made a good point. Cool guy. I might dispute the “it won’t bring you closer to your partner,” because it did mean something to me. But I agree that overhyping it isn’t going to help.
Well, I didn’t say that - it might well do so, if both of you are into it being a committed relationship. I said I thought that teens who want to make their relationship closer might get all excited (no pun intended) at hearing a message about how important and special and adult the act of sex is, and would feel like it’s something they should do then.
After submitting that, I see that I did say “Don’t think that it’ll help a relationship” - I should have written “always help” or “definitely help.” I was thinking about how I’d also tried to warn her in the same relationship that she might find a guy who’ll act all devoted and such until he gets sex, then suddenly he’s uninterested.
Heh, that should be conversation, up there. Obviously I’m too tired to be posting…
To me it says, “You really need to be an adult to have sex.” Some people will hear hear the same message and think, “If I can have sex, I’ll be an adult.”
And then there’s what stranger people (like me) think: "Wow, my DICK wields the most fundamentally powerful force in the universe. Take THAT, ceiling!
Your posts are all well taken and duly noted. Thanks for your input (no pun intended). It was not Dr. Ruth who said it, but I don’t remember the woman’s name. She was at a high school or middle school, being interviewed.
LOL.
although I woulda been something like
"Wow, my DICK wields the most fundamentally powerful force in the universe. Take THAT, The Force!
And this is what it sounds like when Jedi cry. 
Use the :wally
“[Sexual intercourse] shouldn’t be in the hands of kids.”
Sexual intercourse is in the hands of “kids.” “Should” has nothing to do with it. Instead of wringing our hands over shoulds that simply cannot be changed, we will be better off facing the world as it actually is and seek the best outcome we can get.
This attitude also seems to go a long way toward creating an attractive nuisance. As if the drive to fool around isn’t powerful enough, now sex is being propped up as something even more magical and even more forbidden.
“[Sexual Intercourse] shouldn’t be in the hands of anyone who isn’t an adult in as many ways as they need to be an adult.”
This sentence is essentially meaningless. There are no criteria whatsoever, especially if one considers the idea that being sexually active may, by some people, be considered sufficient to having de facto adulthood. There certainly seem to be a fair number of teens who consider themselves to have what it takes to be adults, therefore they would see themselves as having license to screw.
“[Sexual intercourse] has the ability to give life, the potential to take life away, and to change life forever.”
Stating the obvious is not stating the profound. Sex has the potential to cause pregnancy and communicate disease, but those facts need to be addressed in situ, so to speak, to be meaningful. Driving a car can kill a person, but it doesn’t follow from that fact that people shouldn’t drive. A sober comparison of the actual risks is where sensible decisions can bloom, not in using technically true statements completely out of context and in an extremist fashion. This sentence doesn’t serve as a building block in a rational argument, it is designed to block thoughts and bully teens into behaving according to the author’s particular utopian view.
“Sexual intercourse is the most fundamentally powerful behavior there is on the face of the earth.”
Why is sex more powerful than smashing someone’s skull in with a large rock? Screwing may produce a pregnancy or transmit a disease, or it may not. But if one smashes another’s head in with a large rock, it will most certainly cause serious life altering trauma and probably death.
The idea seems to be this: Take sex and its consequences completely out of reality and state its side-effects in terms that avoid running into the facts as they actually are, and then use this deceit to bully kids who haven’t had sufficient experience in critical thought to properly evaluate it.
[hijack]
Is it just me, or is there something funny about someone with the username Shagnasty arguing for abstinence?
[/hijack]
As for the quote, a few quick observations:
-
as other posters have noted, teens can have sex, and unless parents are prepared to lock them up, some level of experimentation will occur.
-
if you are worried about your teen and sex when they are a teen, you’re way too late. Having a teen approach sex in a thoughtful way is about raising a kid with values and in a loving household.
-
near as I can tell, the most important things about sex you can teach a teen is focus on the relationship first and always know you can talk to me (your parent) about anything and won’t get in (too much) trouble if you tell me the truth. Together we can deal with anything…
The quote reads like an infomercial to me.
[deep, resonating male voice] “*Sexual intercourse * is the most fundamentally **powerful ** behavior there is on the face of the earth.” [shot of space, zooming in on the earth]
“It has the ability to give life,” [shot of swimming sperm, then a breaching baby]
“the potential to take life away,” [footage of AIDs victim, wasting away]
“and to change life forever. It shouldn’t be in the hands of anyone who isn’t an adult in as many ways as they need to be an adult.” [shot of hands, holding a box of condoms to a cashier in a store; camera pans out to reveal the hands belong to an adolesencent boy]
“It shouldn’t be in the hands of kids.” [flash to picket signs outside an abortion clinic; a shot of a pregnant teenage girl; and a young, crying mother standing over a crib.]
In short: silly.
So frottage, masturbation and oral sex is aokay.
That makes sense. There are certainly no known instances of wanton sexual practices by adults. No siree.
I was one who was handed down this ‘advice’ and listened to it. It screwed up my ideas of intimacy royally that’s taken over a decade plus to work out. As others have said, it puts TOO much emphasis on sex where you’re expecting the miraculous and that might not happen. It’s also supposed to be Such A Big Deal and that might not happen either.
I also firmly believe that the longer you wait (I was 24, but very far from virginal), the worse it gets as far as making you less mature about the subject. I no longer had a decent perspective going in. I either wanted to “just get it over with” or would have to find the man I was going to marry. Both ways made me feel like I was going straight to hell in the proverbial handbasket.
If I had children (not that I ever plan on it), I’d use most of the suggestions offered. I’d want them to know about the possible outcomes (both pro and con – pregnancy, STDs, lack of emotional involvement of one person, etc.), safety and to understand when they are as ready as they think they can be. We assume they have responsibility at other ages and forge right ahead… like when it’s time to date or drive or leave for college. If you raise them to think for themselves (which I wasn’t, fear was my mother’s only tool), they should do so in a cognitive way.
I highly recommend Judy Blume’s book “Forever.” It’s probably really dated by now (and others with a better, up-to-date approach), but as a teenager in the 80s, she was the first person to explain that sex wasn’t always in afterschool movie. Sometimes it was just what it was. Every once in a while, it can end in heartbreak. Plenty of outings are great and the participants leave with good memories and a more stable foundation to who they are and what they want out of life.
Everyone else has already commented on the naivete/dramatics of the quote itself more aptly than I could. Let’s just say I agree and would never follow the approach of my mother and her ilk. Scaring a kid silly and controlling them is an awful way to ensure they’ll become adults with good skills. Wish I could re-do my childhood and acquire any of the tools I needed that mother kept from me. Education is key.
Well said faithfool
If the OP still wants to use that phraise, please swap out the word “fundamentally” for “important and” since the fundamental word has nasty connotations of extreme religious ideas.
Prudish, religious nonsense. I for one am glad I lost my virginity in my teens. Made me a better person. Sex should no more be avoided by teens than working, studyiing, travelling, or any other key life experience.