The title does not allow much room. What I want to ask is how ‘normal’ or ‘taboo’ is it for someone to marry or have an intimate relationship with someone they were close to as a child.
I am not talking about any form of pedophilia. Here’s the example I am referring to. Someone I work with is married, and about 35. He has a wife in her early 20’s. My coworker first met her when he was a middle school teacher and she was a 6th - 8th grade student. Several years later they met again by chance (as two adults) and began their courtship. She was a student of his as a child.
Now part of me wants to say its just none of my damn business, and condemn any gossip I hear over the matter. They are both adults and nothing is wrong at all.
But it seems many people, at least that I know, find the situation a little unseemly. But I am probably surrounded by prudes as well. What does the wider world think of such situations?
To be honest, I would be a little creeped out, but if it’s two conscenting adults who am I to argue? I still remember neighbour and friend’s siblings who’ve grown up as when they were children, so I find it a little uncomfortable. I know, logically, that there’s no objection to a marriage regarding age. Personally, I can’t remove the childhood images from people I know - so if they brought it up, my cynical nature would automatically kick in. And yes, unfortunately I would briefly think ‘pedophilia’.
On the otherhand, it would be stupid and ignorate to ignore the love between two consenting adults who demostrate it through marriage. I know a few couples with a similar age difference or greater, but none in a similar situation to yours.
It’s kind of hypocritical, if brutally honest, but if they didn’t know each other before I probably would be a lot more comfortable with the whole thing.
Similar to Celine Dion’s marriage. He husband became her manager when she was still a child and then later married her. Nothing wrong with that. It is odd though.
Hmm … a little unusual, but not really icky. It’s not like he tracked her over 10+ years. (Unless he did … ) The term isn’t “creepy”–it’s “coincidence.”
Besided, how close could they have been? She was probably one of 100+ students he saw every day. Middle school kids don’t get a lot of attention from any one teacher, generally.
My husband and I knew each other from a distance as children. His group–all boys–sort of feuded with my group–all girls–and it wasn’t until we met as teenagers and started talking that we realized we’d known each other as children. Sure, we’re closer in age, but it’s still just coincidence. Kind of neat, actually.
I think the years of seperation make a big difference, and it’s probably coincidental. Plus, this guy would have been a very young teacher, right? I knew a couple I probably would’ve hooked up with later on, so it’s not weird to me
FTR, my dad used to babysit for my mom when she was a small child, then he left his small hometown at 17 and wouldn’t meet up with her again for 20+ years. I think at that point it’s more of an intruiging memory than anything else. I mean, we’ve all seen people(For the most part) years later, and thought ‘Whoa, she was all knees and elbows, and now she’s all that.’
It’s weird when they’re kids, but when they’re all grown up and looking sharp it’s man and woman. IMO
For my sense of “creepy” to get involved, I’d have to have some clue as to when (in age) the older of the two quit regarding the younger as a child.
If the couple met after the younger was adult (or at least late teens) it wouldn’t enter my thinking as a first thought.
But if the meeting happened when the younger was a preteen it would take some persuasion (not that any would be forthcoming) for me to accept that some pedophilia wasn’t involved.
But even if there were pedophilia in thoughts and not actions I guess my sense of propriety wouldn’t be offended.
I guess the main thing I’d ask myself was “is this any of my business?” And if the younger person wasn’t related to me, I’d probably answer “No.”
