Hi everyone
I’m an international student in NYC and it’s been only a week since I came here. I was so excited to get to know how’s life in NYC, but what happened to me today makes me worried. I don’t know if this’s discrimination or I’m just too sensitive and I misunderstood the whole situation. I really hope the latter is my case.
Today,I got on the bus and I requested a stop, but the bus driver didn’t stop. I thought maybe he forgot to stop or he didn’t notice that a stop was requested even though I was standing next to the bus door to get off ASA he stops. There few people on the bus and I stood next the door bus before we arrived the stop bus. I asked him " excuse me I’m going to *** school ( which is the stop’s name). He didn’t answer me and just opened the bus door in the highway to let me get off. He didn’t even apologize and just left. I couldn’t even walk properly because there were many cars so I had to walk through the trees to avoid the cars. I was lucky it didn’t happen at night.
I’m crying while I’m writing this to you ): it’s true I don’t have the same color and religion as the bus driver, but he shouldn’t treat me this way. I deserve to be respected as other people who are on the bus. I’m so worried how I’ll get on the bus tomorrow. What will I do if I meet the same driver?
Could you please tell me if I did anything wrong here? Or the bus driver was rude to me?
I think you may be reading too much into this. A bus driver is a busy, busy person, dealing with numerous passengers. I think the real issue is him letting you off on the highway, that’s dangerous. But I doubt discrimination is what happened here. Seems more like an unprofessionalism issue.
Don’t know why the bus driver didn’t stop the first time round; probably an oversight on his part. As for not speaking to you to acknowledge his error, I’d regard that as rude, but behaviour that people from other places regard as rude is commonplace in New York City, particularly when it comes to brusque or terse manner. There’s no reason evident in your post to think that it was a reaction to your religion or skin colour.
Welcome to NY stateElaine90. I think you’ll find the majority of Americans are accommodating and polite. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience that it made you cry. I hope you enjoy your stay, and good luck with school.
I really can’t say if what you experienced was discrimination. It could be the bus driver was frazzled or having a bad day.
It’s been a while since I have ridden a bus, but I remember there being a cord to pull to indicate a desire for a stop, also, there may be a “dead” zone where the bus is not able to stop.
Help us understand. It sounds like you’re saying that as soon as you got on the bus, you said to the driver, “I’m going to _____. Stop when you get there so that I can get off.”
If so, well… I’ve never been to NYC, but I doubt that’s how it works. Any city bus I’ve been on, you have to signal for a stop right before the actual stop.
It almost wasn’t certainly discrimination. That is just what some NYC workers are like. I am as white, male and every other privileged thing that you can think of and similar things have happened to me in Boston (my own area), NYC and especially Philadelphia. Most of the U.S. is very to unusually polite and friendly but the urban Northeast is a general exception. I don’t know where you come from or why you picked NYC in particular but you will do much better as you learn the customs and routines there.
Many people are friendly even there but you can’t always count on it especially among stressed out service workers. Going to school in a place that is foreign in any way to you is always going to be stressful until you get some experience with the area. You just picked one of the most intense cities in the world and learning the new customs, routines and growing a thicker skin have to be a part of your educational experience if you are going to make it there whether you realized it before today or not. Such experiences almost certainly are not going to be the last time that type of thing will happen.
Too many times to count I’ve seen drivers seemingly space out a stop even when the bell rang requesting a stop and continue on forcing passengers to either get dropped off mid block or have to get off the next stop. I’ve also had drivers not say a word to me and generally act like I wasn’t there.
Don’t take it personally.
Where, exactly, did the driver let you off? While there are highways in NYC, I cannot imagine any bus driver, even the rudest one, letting someone get off the bus on one.
I agree that rudeness is unfortunately to be expected in NY, but you will also find New Yorkers to be incredibly helpful when it makes them look good without being too difficult–giving directions, returning a dropped glove, etc. I say this as a former New Yorker, though, perhaps it is different now.
The OP only been in NYC city a week , so he/she is learning their way around the city . To the OP the bus driver sound very rude to me , he should at least had told you there was a bell to ring when you want to get off . It’s hard to say if was discrimination , if you get the same driver again and he does this to you again try to get the bus number and report the guy.
Bus operators forget to stop all the time. The fastest way to make sure they stop is to pay attention to whether they’re starting to brake in time (if you know where the actual stop is and can tell you’re getting close). I will yell “STOP PLEASE!” if it’s looking like they’re going to miss the stop. It’s the fastest way to make sure the driver doesn’t get too far past the stop and can let you off as close as possible. Forget all that “excuse me” crap, you need the bus to stop now and dicking around with politeness gets you another hundred yards too far from the stop. Once the doors are opening and I can leave, I’ll shoot a smile and a “THANK YOU!!” on the way out. Unless I was made to wait until the next stop. For me, that’s rare though. Because I yell for them to stop soon enough.
Timing for the stop request is also important. Sorry if this is going over stuff you already know, but I have two ways I’ll pull the Stop Request cord: First, if the driver is pulled over at the stop before the one I want, I will wait until s/he has pulled back into traffic and is not distracted by merging before I pull the cord. Second, if the bus is travelling with traffic and doesn’t stop at the one before the one I want, I wait until just after passing that stop to pull the cord. Either way, I make sure the cord is pulled well before the stop I want, in order to give the driver enough time to stop. I’ve certainly seen people wait too long and pull the Stop Request when the operator would have to slam on the brakes in order to make the stop. In that case, I’ve frequently heard them tell the person they have to pull the cord sooner and then make them wait until the next stop. Which is what they should do.
You are being more than way too sensitive. If you want to spend any quality time in the States, you need to get a thicker skin tout de suite. Bus operators deal with thousands of people a day. They don’t give a crap what you look like.
I hope you can put this behind you as in forget it completely and enjoy yourself! Hoping you have people here you can talk to and bounce ideas off of, and maybe talk about this or other things you run into - it’s all learning.
No, he was just being rude, which is common for NYC, for some people. Some people are rude but most people are nice. Travel around the city and you will see more and more people of all skin color and language and religions. It is a really very accepting place actually. Just people are very busy and sometimes they do not stop to think that maybe you are new to the city and do not know exactly what to do.
I used to live in NYC and I miss it so much!!!
I promise you, anytime you are anywhere in the city and get lost or feel like you don’t know what to do or say, stop and ask, tell someone, tell anyone that you are new to the city and need directions. I promise you, 99 out of 100 people will help you.
OP, If this is what you did then quite possibly the driver thought that you were extremely rude to him. It comes off as imperious or entitled, if spoke as if you expected him to remember your stop.
I think it was all a big miscommunication and no one’s fault. These awkward exchanges happen. Put it behind you.
sorry, but not true. the average bus driver in NYC probably hears, “hey tell me/stop when we get to 37th street (or whatever)” like at least 6 times every 10 minutes.
Welcome to NYC AND city bus drivers.
Neither of which are known for extreme unction when dealing with people*
- BOTH NYC and bus drivers are stereo typically rude.
You can:
- Grow a skin
- Move
- Get used to crying.
Sorry, but true, MTA bus drivers only ever do this when the bus is mostly empty. On a busy bus, no.
Since the OP is asking for advice, let’s move this to IMHO.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
Thank you so much. I feel much better after reading your responses ^^
I just want to say something. This isn’t my first time in the US. I lived in Seattle for 2 years and I got on busses all the time. As always I pull the ring to request a stop before the actual stop which I did today. I saw the sign next to the driver saying a stop requested. Then, I stood next to the door to get off when he stops. If he didn’t see the sign, he could feel someone is standing next to the door which is on his right. I only talked to the driver when he passed the stop. I know sometimes bus drivers forgot to stop, but when that happened to me before, they apologized to me and let me got off the bus in the next bus stop. None of them let me walk in the highways. They even told me where to stop to get on the next bus, which is too nice but is not expected cuz drivers are busy. From my experience in the US, American people are really friendly and like to communicate with people from other countries. But this driver was different.
Sorry if I confused you with my grammar mistakes and thank you again
Welcome to NYC! Coincidentally, I just got back from a week’s vacation in Seattle, and took a couple of bus rides while I was there. The drivers were quite helpful.
Anyway, sounds like you just ran into a jerk of a bus driver.
In response to everybody’s comments about how New Yorkers are rude: Not rude, just different. 
I’m still not understanding about walking in the highway. What highway? The driver wouldn’t have just let you off randomly, there must have been a bus stop there.