is this endangering to a child?


Dad is into hardcore porn. I mean the really graphic stuff.

He has young boys (ages 5 and 2).

He doesn’t show the porn magazines to the children, but he is very lax about keeping it hidden. In fact he leaves the stuff where it would be easy to find by accident.

Is this child endangerment or neglect or anything?

Nah, keep it right next to the pistol and Jack Daniels.

It’s very poor judgment, at least. What could happen–what already has happened IRL in some cases–is that the little ones could find the stuff, be just confused enough to start talking about it somewhere, and then people would start thinking that they’re being sexually abused at home or at daycare. Then come the false allegations and a huge mess. It’s not farfetched at all.

Its only child endangerment if the really graphic hardcore stuff being left around is child pornography.

Any cop can cite any person if they follow them far enough.
You willing to be followed?

I think that scenario indicates an idiot but then porn is not my thing.

What about a man teaching his son to shot a gun?
What about making raciest remarks in front of his children?
What about saying Baptist are idiots?
What about showing the child how to hold his penis when he is learning to urinate?
What about taking a picture of his kid naked in the bathtub and showing his brother and Grandma?
What about…

When you say “hard core” what exactly do you mean? I’ve seen 5 people determine the same picture to be 5 different levels of porn, if you know what I mean. Is it snuff movies or what?

I don’t know if I’d use the word “endangerment” in most cases. I think at the age of 2, it really isn’t an issue.

Not snuff films but harsh bondage and S&M stuff.

When you say endangerment, do you mean by the word’s legal definition or by a psychological standard?

If you mean legal, I will pass on this one. I am not a lawyer. (Although I have to add that I think vivalostwages has a good point.)

On the other hand, I am a psychologist and if you are asking if seeing hardcore porn could be harmful to a child, the answer is yes, of course it could. Seeing porn of that type would not necessarily cause harm, but I can certainly see how it could. What we find sexually arousing is very malleable and exposure to porn of the nature you describe could certainly have a big influence on a young child.

Not saying this is what is happening here but…

My father indoctrinated us into the world of porn early. He used to pretend it was accidental but then got a lot bolder about it. He used it to show me what he wanted me to do to/for him. He also gave me (his only daughter) alcohol and drugs as I got older (13+) because I wasn’t nearly as complacent about the sexual abuse as I was at 4.

Leaving that stuff about with a 5 year old is at the least totally moronic and could be much worse.

Let’s put it this way…

Do you see any possible good that might come of this?
Would you expose your children to something that could only bring harm?

This came up recently in my life - I know a guy who showed his son online porn videos. I think the kid is under 2. I don’t know if that would be harmful or not. It does seem kinda creepy, but I think in many cultures very young children often witness adults having sex (kinda hard to avoid in a one-room house), and I don’t know if it causes any harm or not.

What tanookie is getting at, with understandable emotion, is that this kind of behavior is a common symptom of child sexual abuse. This could be an indication of a potential for such abuse in the Dad; and even if he has no such potential, the fact that he does this could, if the information got to certain authorities, result in unwanted attention, up to and including a visit from a Child and Family Services counselor with a police escort.

This has potentially harmful consequences for the child and for the parent. If someone you know is doing it, advise them strongly to consider the ramifications of their actions. If it’s you, I hereby adminsiter a virtual dope-slap. (Whack!)

The real issue is this:

A woman I know is getting divorced from her husband. He has always been heavily into hard core porn and sloppy about keeping it hidden. When they were living together the woman would daily clean it up and put it away where the children wouldn’t find it.

Now that they have separate places, she is afraid that he will leave it out more without her to ‘police’ him.

She is considering asking the judge to require that the dad not visit with the children in his home because of this. They could still spend time together in public (at the park etc) or at her house.

Do you think this is a reasonable request?

As far as child endangerment goes, it means a minor (i.e., under the age of 18.)

The porn thing is, legally, a form of child abuse. It is creating an unsafe environment for the child and in my state this would be enough to give DHS (Department of Human Services) a reason to make inquiries.

I’m not sure about jail time, perhaps all that would result would be counseling, but yes, this is illegal.

I think she should speak to her lawyer about this. It is a reasonable request to not let children play with daddy’s porn collection. I would not allow my child to have access to those materials and would make my feelings known to him and to the judge. I wonder if this was a factor in the divorce?

I will just share my experience, which is true for me and does not imply any judgement about other people’s experience with porn.

I was first exposed to what I would call “hardcore” porn around the age of eight. It was very well hidden at the home of a friend, but not hidden well enough. This was magazines and novels.

Later, maybe a year or two, I found similar porn in my own home.

It has taken me a long time to realize that this WAS harmful to me. As the risk of too much sharing, I will say that I feel like my arousal system was screwed up. It has taken a lot of will and determination to experience arousal because of love and affection and not in response to pornographic images.

I think that early exposure to porn (and maybe late exposure)can really interfere with healthy sexual development. The associations formed when you are young are difficult to overcome.

Just my experience.

Carlotta: I can understand that. Never experienced anything like that, but you have my sympathy.

I’m a little curious - why is exposure, at an early age, to human sexual practices considered unhealthy?

Please don’t misunderstand, I fully understand the idea of age appropriate sexual information, and would never consider porn as a useful educational tool.

And with the exception of possible legal problems directly related to suspicions of illegal behaviors that might be raised, and hence risk to having children removed from the household, how dangerous are sexual images to children?

FWIW, I have porn in the house. Hardcore? Yeah, but not fetish or snuff-like stuff - mainstream hardcore, if you will. I do take reasonable precautions to keep it “put away” and inaccessible to my kids.

But personally, I would be more concerned if I found my kids watching Resevoir Dogs than Debbie Does Dallas. Mind you, each would concern me, but at least sexual curiousity is healthy and normal. I’m not so sure about violence…

Well, for one thing (and I think this is what carlotta is getting at), porn has very little to to with “human sexual practices”–it is full of assumptions and conventions which are pretty far removed from what a child might see if they accedently walk in on ole Mom and Dad making whoopie. In fact, I think that without someone to point out the similarities, mom and dad making whoopie wouldn’t even seem like part of the same **catagory[b/] as “beautiful woman with every secondary sex charecteristic multiplyed by an order of magnitude wearing nothing by net stockings and high heels masterbates with a 12 inch dildo while sucking other, similarly dressed woman’s nipple”. Porn is fine when exposure to it is within the context of exposure to other forms of sexual awareness, but when it is in complete isolation, I do think you run a signifigant risk of seriously impacting someone’s ideas about what sex is.

OK, Manda JO, I see your point - if it is in isolation.

The same could be said for Cosmo, but I don’t see too many women hiding their Cosmos from their kids.