I love makeup. I took theatre makeup classes as part of my major and they were the most fun classes I took. I think it is fun to alter the way I look.
However, I don’t wear makeup anymore. I can make myself look better by wearing makeup, and I sometimes do when I’m going out… but not usually. Why?
Because I figure people will look at me and think “who is she trying to fool?”
Because no matter how much makeup I wear, I’m still fat and unattractive.
Yeah, that’s irrational, Opal.
Focusing on something like that, where you’ve already decided on a negative, is clearly out of bounds.
Yes, I’ve always felt that make up is unnecessary. A person is who he or she is regardless of clothes, make up, or other adornments. That realization made me stop wearing my earrings.
Far more important that whether you wear make up or not is whether you’re comfortable with yourself and are self-confident.
I know you’re taking steps (your surgery) to deal with what you perceive as your weight problem but I know you in person. I like you now and I’ll like you then. Be strong.
Wow. I thought you were going to say it was because you’re a vegetarian, and you’d found out that animal by-products were used, or something like that.
I know that in your head, it probably seems like a rational excuse for not wearing makeup. But, it’s really not. A rational excuse would be “I don’t wear it because I don’t want to”, or “I don’t wear it because it makes my skin welt up”, things like that. If you like to wear makeup, wear it. Ptooey on what everyone else thinks.
I hope you find a way to deal with these self-esteem issues, Opal. I know I’ve never really talked to you, or had much contact with you, but I think you’re pretty cool, and I hope you feel better about yourself soon.
More fun to ask about existence of rational reason for wearing it. All that having to check mascara has not run, leaving a Giant Panda look, etc.
I think I don’t now cos I am too lazy
(Am also fat etc)
It’s irrational because it’s attributing your feelings to other people.
What you think other people are thinking is rarely what they are thinking, especially if it’s about you. Other people generally aren’t thinking nearly as much about you as you think they are. (Wow, that was quite contorted, wasn’t it?)
Also, while it is rational to believe that makeup will not change your weight, it is not rational to think that it won’t change your attractiveness. Attractiveness is not an either/or proposition. You say, “I can make myself look better by wearing makeup”. Therefore your net attractiveness does increase when you wear makeup.
But the most important thing to remember is that you have very little control over how others feel or think about you. So you need to do what makes you feel good, and since you think that wearing makeup is fun, that’s what you should do.
Makeup makes me itch.
I agree with the above comments (especially re: self-esteem. You’ve mentioned that you wear what YOU like to wear, and everyone else can sod off. Odd that you then take the opposite view of make-up).
Whether someone wears make-up or not is their decision. My wife doesn’t simply because it’s too time-consuming in the morning.
What I find more egregious is women who apply their make-up inexpertly. Globs of goo hanging off their eyelashes, base that looks like it was applied with a trowel, ridiculous, clownish lip-liners. That’s unattractive, even on a pretty woman. And, Opal, I am sure you could be more skillful in your application, making it look natural, and highlighting the assets of your features.
Of course, it’s your call, but I think projecting your perceptions onto other people is a mistake.
I don’t think its irrational at all, and I seem to be in the minority on this one. And can actually relate on many points. Its hard to doll oneself up - when you don’t feel pretty. It may sound lame, but its the truth. Why bother with the extra time it takes because when you are done, you still feel crappy.
I rarely, if ever, wear makeup to work. Only do I wear makeup if I’m going out, and only to certain places. I’m perfectly content to keep my hair in a ponytail and wear my glasses. This however, doesn’t help the cause of trying to feel better about myself.
I wish you the best of luck, and have high hopes that the surgery will help you!
Bad as I hate to tell people they’re being utterly irrational, I have to do it. You like makeup, you enjoy wearing it, and you feel more attractive wearing it. But you don’t wear it because of what someone else might possibly be thinking about you. Why would you deprive yourself of something that gives you pleasure and certainly doesn’t hurt anyone, just because some hypothetical butthead might think something unkind about you?
I used to avoid wearing stuff based on what other people might think of me. Back when I was a size 11 (oh, to have those days back again) I never wore shorts because I didn’t want people to think, “Oh my Gawd, what’s she thinking to show off those tree trunk thighs?” It got really old, and really depressing, after a while. Now I’ve pretty much quit giving a crap what strangers think. I’m a fat chick with a sort of goofy face, and they can either love me or get the hell out of my way.
Besides, honey, the only way people are going to think “Who does she think she’s kidding?” is if you’re trying to look or act like you’re twenty years younger than you are.
Opalcat…wear makeup because it makes you feel and look pretty. To hell with anyone else.
I doubt anyone is thinking that about your makeup anyway. For me, makeup enhances. So as long as you’re not glopping it on a la Tammy Faye Baker, go for it.
May I ask if you have other problems? I ask because such a thing to think suggests you have self-esteem issues.
If I am out of line or prying, I apologize. Please feel free to ignore my question.
Golly, Opal.
While ordinarily, I consider make-up on women to be “gilding the lily,” and I’m the last one to encourage it, your post really knocked the wind out of me.
If you like to wear make-up, then you ought to. I say this without the usual reservations I have about make-up, because even the over-the-top, “arty” applications I’ve seen on your webpage are drop-dead-gorgeous. The girl in the candid webcam pics you have posted, sans-make-up, is beautiful, too. Is that not you? Have you perpetrated some cruel hoax on your admirers? (Rhetoric, don’t answer.)
Goddess knows that it’s a matter of public record that you are concerned about your weight, and I can certainly sympathize with that-- I’ve got a similar thing going on, at the other end of the scale (no pun intended.) I know first-hand that the image we have of ourselves doesn’t necessarily match what others see. I can remember times in my life when I’ve looked in the mirror, and been surprised to see something that’s not positively repulsive, and had a dim suspicion what I was seeing there was closer to objectivity than the mental image I carry around with me.
I’d totally support you in your attempts to conform to a physical ideal, but don’t lose touch with the fact that your really are beautiful. I’m not talking about some wishy-washy beautiful-on-the-inside stuff. You have classically beautiful features. Be proud of them. Flaunt them, even. Work on making adjustments to your looks if it makes you feel better, but don’t assume that people find you unattractive, because you’re very attractive.
I’ll stop now before I earn a thump from your husband.
Much love!
Yah - it’s pretty irrational.
If you like make-up, wear it. As I, and other posters have said numerous times, weight and attractiveness are not negatively correlated. A larger person who carries themselves well, and projects confidence can be very, very attractive. I can easily think of a number of larger woman that I know that would be considered knock-outs.
Don’t let some incredibly narrow media image of what is attractive spoil your fun. There’s an entire organization dedicated to helping woman that are not “attractive” work with make-up and clothing. It’s called Look Good, Feel Better, and it’s targeted at cancer victims that have been ravaged by the disease with hair loss, weight loss, change in skin tone, etc. It teaches these woman how to apply make-up in order to look attractive, despite their illness and it’s a huge success – growing in leaps and bounds. The reason it’s so successful is because it works. If you’re putting your best foot forward, regardless of the size of the shoe, you will feel good.
Put on your makeup and feel good about yourself - beauty comes in every size.
“If the barn needs painting – paint the barn!!”
I don’t know where I first heard that, but that’s the advice I always give when the conversation turns to makeup.
OpalCat, that is your depression talking. You know you are well-liked around the world for your personality and your intelligence, and you know you can make just as good an impression in the physical world.
All you have to do is do it.
I’ve been there. I’ve had days when just getting up and doing something was a real challenge because I couldn’t see beyond my own nose. I’ve sat and stared at my balcony (when I lived in a house with one) and the only reason I didn’t jump was because I couldn’t convince myself to get up. Depression is a freezing up of the mind, a thick coating of frost that reduces affect and drive to nothing. It’s tough to work through. Sometimes it’s impossible without help.
It can be fought. It’s worth fighting.
Get up and do something. Take a walk. Read a book. Don’t let your mind rust out. Get angry at your disease and fight the damned thing.
Don’t be afraid to seek allies. Looking up a psychiatrist or checking yourself into a mental hospital could be your best options. The cost is worth not having to spend another day mimicing a blank wall.
If I’m talking out of turn, chalk it up to fear and experience. Opal, neglecting personal care and feelings of worthlessness are serious warning signs. If it’s spring where you are, go out and have a nice day no matter what the monkeys in the trees think.
If it’s a dark winter, find an icepick and get out.
sweetie, even covered in a humongous bruises (yep, i saw those photos), you’re pretty.
don’t sell yourself short.
Never thought I’d say this to anyone in a public context, but sweetie, you really need to see Oprah’s show that’s being broadcast right now. If you’re not looking at this thread this second, try and seek out a videotape or transcript of today’s show. It’ll do ya good.
(Go ahead, everyone. Mock me.)
It’s one of the reasons that I don’t wear makeup very often (there are others, but that probably the top of the list) and yes, it’s irrational.
However, I’m not sure what knowing that does.
I’d say “rationality” and “make up” should not be mixed, other than the perfectly rational compulsion to not look like that Baker woman. Tammy Fae or whatever.
If you can avoid that, then I think you’re in the clear. 
But, to be honest, I’ve always liked females without make up on, if only for the reason that they didn’t wear make up. LOL. Hail Eris, etc.
Make up should be worn because YOU like it, and it’s fun.
Screw what everyone else thinks, Opal.
Well, with clothes it is different… it’s about what is comfortable and what I like. I have to wear clothes of some sort.
With makeup, its sole purpose is to make you look better. So I sort of see it as… well if you saw Jabba the Hutt with lipstick and eyeshadow, you’d roll your eyes, right?
But, Opal, dear, you’re no Jabba.
You’re pretty.
What’s more, from the evidence presented, you have an ability to apply makeup artfully, to, you know, accentuate what’s already there.
Do you think the people who tell you so are full of shit? Trying to put one over on you, somehow? Or hallucinating?
Sorry, that sounds pissy. No doubt, when you are depressed, these arguments sound unconvincing. But it’s true.
Opal = Strikingly beautiful.