For reference, this is me about 25lbs ago: with/without makeup as a comparison
this is a current pic, w/o makeup (Halloween 2002).
For the hell of it, I just went and put on makeup, just to see. this was the result. There is just nothing that can be done with a fat face, and I feel like a clown trying to hide what is there.
I feel even more embarrassed for people who know me already to see me in makeup. Sort of like “why try now, after all this time?”
As I have said… I love makeup. Mostly, though, I love performance makeup… For shits and giggles here are some examples (all but the last one are very old):
Opal you have beautiful eyes. And with your expertise in theatre makeup I’m sure you know how to maximize the positive and minimize the negative.
There’s more going on here than a shyness to wear makeup. If you are afraid people will flee from you in revulsion because you have a bit of lipstick on…sweetie, you are exaggerating your own power. Short of some hideous scar on your face, I doubt anyone notices.
You’ve been on the boards longer than I. I think you are intelligent and funny. I also admire what you have done with FFF. Please, get yourself to a counselor. I’m getting seriously worried about you.
I checked out your page and saw that you’re a good-looking (and gutsy) woman with or without makeup. Since you are obviously highly skilled in applying it, and love to do so, it’s seems cruel and unusual punishment to deny yourself this small pleasure. IMHO.
Had I half your skill I’d probably wear makeup more myself.
You have a very beautiful face, Opal. Make-up doesn’t make one fatter or thinner, and it doesn’t bring one’s face back to its supposed glory days. But it does bring out the prettiness. And for those of us who like it (me included), it’s a lot of fun to put on.
Body image issues and low self esteem can make one feel loath to attempt any sort of attractiveness or well-dressedness. The flip side to this is that sprucing oneself up and walking tall can do a lot of good to how one feels.
Girlfriend, do you own a mirror? That’s a lovely face you got there.
I choose not to wear makeup myself, simply because I’m lazy and I can’t be bothered. But I think it’s great for folk who do choose to use it if that’s what pleases them and it’s done well. Clearly, you can do it superbly. My reaction wouldn’t be “Who does she think she’s kidding?” More along the lines of “Here’s an attractive lady with a talented hand who knows how to play up her good features. Good for her.” And it seems I’m not the only one who’d think so.
Opal, I have just looked at your pictures and i can genuinely say that i think you are a very beautiful person and it is a shame that you feel so badly about yourself. I am a great fan of wearing make up and i can’t remember the last time i went out without it. I only wish i had your skill, I have been thinking about taking such classes myself
I’ve been overweight and underweight and everywhere in between. I have “put on my face” nearly every damn day for 18 years and on the particularly nasty “fat cow” days, it has made me feel a little better. For me, make-up can be a comforting mask for when you feel the whole world is staring and judging.
I hate to presume, Opal, but is denying yourself an activity you enjoy a “punishment” for feeling overweight? When I was at my heaviest, I would “punish” myself by refusing to purchase nice or fashionable clothes. I felt that since I was fat cow, people would laugh at me if I tried to wear something nice. In my mind, I enjoyed clothing, but since I was fat I only deserved sweatpants. Please don’t deny something that brings you joy.
I’ve gone out in public in just about every type of makeup… old age, animal, Puck… but that was a long time ago, and that’s easy. It’s obvious what you’re trying to do. It’s when it’s obvious that you are trying to look good, and you can’t, that it is embarrassing.
And yes, I haven’t bought much other than sweatpants and t-shirts in years. Not much point, really. Actually, I only have about 3 pair of pants and I just rotate through them through the week. One dark grey sweatpants, one light grey, and one black pair of stretch denim.
I do appreciate the nice comments in this thread, but the difference is that you guys know me. You see me as a friend and one tends to judge one’s friends differently.
It’s not so much “trying to look good” as it is “enhancing what you’ve got.” It’s always possible to enhance, to look a little better, to move in the direction of looking “good,” even if you’ve defined “good” as unattainable to yourself. (and defining it that way is not healthy, anyway)
Opal, it’s hardly noticeable. Ivylad has a much bigger one under his left eye.
Besides, with makeup you can cover up the scar.
I also noticed the colors of your clothes…gray and black.
And yes, we are your online friends. So why don’t your friends’ opinons count more than some random stranger’s? Friends tell the truth. If we thought the makeup was applied inexpertly or taking away from your beauty, we’d tell you. A stranger couldn’t care less.
Yeah it’s gotten less noticable with age, thankfully.
Online friends are a unique group. They form their opinions of you without seeing you first. In most other aspects of life, your first impression is made face to face. It has been said that it’s hard to change first impressions, and that’s true. I hate it that most people’s first impression of me is “that fat chick (with the funny personality)” and as I’ve said, the makeup (and clothes) thing just seems to me to be like… a joke.
If you see a 95-year-old woman in nice, low-key makeup (not clownish or glittery–just normal face stuff), having her hair styled, do you think, “Who is she trying to fool? Is that stuff going to make her younger?”
No, you just think, “Oh, look, somebody’s having her hair done.”
The same woman, dressed in a Britney Spears outfit, complete with pierced navel, goes along with “who’s she trying to fool?” (Answer: herself.) Not the same thing as a normal chick, of any age or size, wearing normal clothing or makeup that she likes.
I don’t wear much makeup, because I keep forgetting to put any on. I’ll agree with all the above Dopers who like you whether you wear makeup (or have surgery) or not. Remember, we think you look like a cat with opal eyes. (At least, that’s how I picture you)
Besides, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can maybe wear it minimally, if you feel self-conscious, fix up your hair, wear your favorite clothes. You’ll FEEL good about yourself, and if you walk around and act like you feel good-people will notice THAT-that you feel good about yourself.
And as some have already said, you have really beautiful eyes. Show 'em off!
