Is this *too much*?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Just a little background – I am a very antisocial/asocial type of person (yes, I know the difference between the two and yes, I display traits of both, not talking about diagnosis, just traits). I don’t make friends easily, and I don’t consider most people that I work with “friends.” Heck, I don’t even use the term “acquaintance” until I have actually spoken with a coworker more than twice. Yeh, I am that person.

I started my current job (in a call center, great job for my personality, all cubes, no interaction forced or required with anyone other than the voice at the other end of the phone lines) about a year ago. There are 2 people with whom I actually choose to interact. A younger girl who shares my personality traits and with whom I tend to get along well and may actually enjoy hanging out with outside of work if time/opportunity ever presented, and an older lady who had weight loss surgery recently (I am almost 2 years post-op, so it is more of a mentor situation than friendship). Aside from that, I simply just don’t want or need more friends. I guess my boss and coworkers are ok but…well, you know, I guess I kind of see it like this – if you’re going to write me up or fire me do that, but don’t make me feel any worse than I already do, ya know? My boss has said to me that “we will talk” about this later today. I hate that. I know that calling out 2 hours into my shift is uncool, but I also know that it is not like it is a habit I have, y’know?
So, yesterday was my birthday, and of course my driver’s license expired. I went to get it renewed and the DMV was having computer problems. Long story short – by the time I realised I was late for work, it was 2 hours into my shift. I borrowed some stranger’s cell phone and called. I got voicemail and left a message. By the end of the day, I still did not have my DL, but had wasted my birthday, so went home and called my boss again to apologise for being so late calling out. I got the VM again and left another message. I then heard someone pounding on my front door. It was a sheriff. WTH? I opened the door cautiously and asked what was going on and the guy informed me that my boss called the police because they were concerned about me (since I didn’t call and my husband is out of town for the week, they were worried). I thanked the cop, told him where I had been and that I had, in fact, called my work. Not just once, but twice. I assured him I would call them again and that everything was fine.

So, my question to the dopers – is this excessive? I think it is. Granted, this is a small-ish business. Not in dollars/worth, but it terms of number of employees (I would guess at less than 200), but still. I guess it speaks volumes for my work ethic that my boss would assume me dead for not calling within the first 2 hours, but …I don’t know…I just have to know what you guys think.

2

I think it is. It sounds like just bad luck-calling in late because of just something that happens-and if you don’t have a habit of doing so-shouldn’t warrant a “we’ll talk” type of attitude.

3

I think that you can drive yourself nuts trying to figure out the motivations of other people. In such cases, I find it easier to live with myself if I go with whatever story works best for me. In this case, I would take their actions in the way in which they were most likely intended - as a sign of concern and, as you say, a positive notation of your work ethic.

I would also go talk to your supervisor and make sure he has your cellphone number to reach you in case something like this came up again*, and to ask what other number you should call if leaving a voice mail isn’t reassurance enough for him. Then drop it. You did what you could, and he’s a bit dim for not checking his messages before freaking out. There’s a good chance the sherriff’s department is billing him for the officer’s time, by the way, so he may learn his lesson without any help from you.

*And if you don’t have a cellphone, seriously consider getting one. Even if it’s a pay-as-you-go that you use less than 10 minutes a month, it’s best to have it just in case. It’s really becoming required for adult life these days, and I say that as someone who resisted it for years.

4

Thanks, guys! I feel better knowing that it’s not just me on this one.

WhyNot, I don’t carry a cell phone. I know it makes me atypical, and honestly, I do have one of those pay-as-you-go, but my daughter carries it. I had a cell phone from 1997 until last year, and it was just an intrusion. Plus, the rural area in which we live does not get any signal with any carrier, so it’s a total waste of money unless I am actually travelling, at which point I would carry the pay-as-you-go one.

I am thinking that when I go have my talk, I will simply thank her for her concern and let her vent whatever she needs and just chalk it up to some people being good people and caring about their fellow humans – a concept that still eludes me. I am 35 and while I might worry about my kids or my husband, if one of my employees doesn’t show up (I used to be in management for years), well I figure I will find out eventually why. It’s not like I am that important here – it’s why I took a part-time job. So I could be a faceless grunt for a change. Oh well, I still love the job, I just have a new understanding of my boss, I guess.

5

I guess it’s a compliment to your work ethic that they called the cops but seriously, before I did that, I’d check my phone(s) for messages. I wonder why your boss didn’t think to do that.

6

It is much, yes, but…
I was in a similar workplace before, and the last time a solid employee was absent one morning without any word from him, it turned out he died on the way to work in a car accident. And yes, co-workers were extremely worried before we found out (which was less than two hours into the day, BTW). So I can kind of see where your boss is coming from.

7

I definitely think it is excessive, but also, quite touching in a way, that they would be so concerned about your welfare. I remember a job back in my drinking days, where I decided not to go to work one morning, didn’t call in, and no one even noticed I was missing the whole day!

8

One of my former bosses did something similar once. I was at an off-site 1/2 day meeting, but I hadn’t put it on my calendar so my boss freaked out, called my house, and when she didn’t get me, called my parents. (Fortunately, they weren’t home or they would have freaked out too.) The real kicker, though, was that my boss was the one who’d sent me to that meeting! And it was on HER calendar, if not on mine. Ugh.

In some ways it is good to know that someone would be worried and would come looking for you if you were, say, lying injured on the floor at home. But on the other hand, I agree with the mind your own business idea too. (Or at least check your voice mail and/or look at your calendar to make sure the person wasn’t scheduled to be out!)

9

My co-workers called my landlord once to go check my apartment. I was out of town for the weekend and it wasn’t uncommon that I got back on Monday morning because of some transportation snafu, so I was pissed. But they were a bunch of sweet biddies who cared about me so I couldn’t stay mad.

In your case, quite excessive! Not checking voicemail first? Silly.

10

Well, the meeting wasn’t too bad. There was the veiled “you could lose your job over this kind of thing” verbiage, but mostly just the “how would we have felt if we hadn’t checked?” attitude. Wow.

11

Definitely silly not to check messages.

I’m single, live alone, and am fairly asocial (don’t have good friends locally). My boss let me know that if I were ever more than a couple hours late for work and she didn’t get some sort of call she’d call 911 to have the police knock down my door to find me. She, however, is anal about checking voice messages, and we both have cell phones and routinely text each other about degrees of possible lateness.

12

Well it may be excessive, but not really hard to understand. It does sound like you are the type of person whom everyone would know would have to be seriously injured, in an accident, etc. to not show up to work and not call.

I don’t know how much weight loss surgery has changed over the years, but I was under the impression that years ago there were more cases of complications down the road. It could be that when you didn’t show up, someone in the office immediately pictured you passed on your kitchen floor, in need of help. And with no husband at home, you could have been laying incapacitated all night.

They may have thought that if that was a possibility because of the surgery, or some other health problem, that calling the cops to check on you could really be a matter of life and death. If for no other reason they may have felt a need to call the police just to rule out some scenario someone in the office pictured and then convinced others was a real possibility.

Anyway, I can see that happening based on other places I have worked. You just need one person to come up with an idea, and soon everyone is convinced about something that normally wouldn’t be considered.

So I really wouldn’t be too upset with your boss. It could be your boss felt pressured by the others to check to make sure you didn’t need help.

And I imagine at many places people are fired for not showing up and not calling. Now in your case, you did call two hours later, and it wasn’t something you have made a habit of, but the company may have rules to follow in giving you a warning so it doesn’t look like favoritism then next time someone does get fired for not showing up and calling.

So whether you intended for it to happen or not, it sounds like the people you work with do care about you, and that is not a bad thing.

13

As an employer, you have to consider which is worse: not worrying when someone doesn’t show up and can’t be reached, and then reading about it in the papers three days later when the meter reader finds your body and the reporters mention that “no one at the victim’s place of employment tried to contact the victim when they didn’t show up for work”, OR worrying, sending out the police and having them find you, in a heap at the bottom of the steps, just in time to save your life and having the reporters mention that “quick thinking by concerned coworkers saved the day”. You pick. Yes, two hours is a bit much when they didn’t think to check voice mail, but it could also be too long if you’d slipped on a patch of ice and were laying frozen to the ground.

I’m just not totally clear on how you can sit at the DMV for over two hours before you realize you were supposed to be at work!

14

I was late to my first post-college job once. My car had broken down, so I was walking to Dad’s job (which was the hospital on the same road I would have taken) when a car going in the opposite direction honked at me and I saw one of my coworkers waving.

They knew I had a clunker, they knew I’d never been as much as “on time” (usually I was 5-10 minutes early) and were worried I might have had an accident. They’d called home, Mom had told them I’d left at the usual time, they’d decided to send someone to check the route. No accident but yeah, definitely car-related.
Same job, a couple weeks later. One of the other lab girls doesn’t come in. When we’re having lunch, at which time she’s 6 hours late, one of the office girls says “you know, maybe we should call her house.” The same one who’d come to look for me says “nah.” “Why not?” “It’s Isa and it’s Monday.” And there was a general murmur of “yep” from several of the other veterans.

Isa had burned down the lab. Twice. She was known to be a raver. She was half an hour late on any given day. Late on Monday? No big deal. People might have felt guilty if it had turned out she’d had an accident, but in her case it was a low probability thing compared to “she drank too much, drugged too much, partied too late, and has gone to bed at the time she should have gotten up.” Which is what happened, as we found out when she came in on Tuesday… two hours late.
Take it as a compliment :smiley:

15

I think you’re getting off pretty easily here, Litoris; maybe because it isn’t in the Pit. I think your actions warranted a firing, not a sheriff at your house wondering if you’re alive. I don’t know how licenses work where you are, but here, you can go any time in your birth month to get it renewed, not just on your actual birthday. How do you get two hours into your shift and not know you’re late? I would put a written reprimand in your record for this, but I’m funny that way - I think shifts start at their start time, and anybody who can’t make it at that start time needs to call and let their supervisor know (cars break down, and people do get sick).

But your employer also needs to check their voicemail, or have someone available to take calls from employees who can’t make it on time.

16

Just want to highlight the beauty of the fact that her place of employment is a call center, and not only could she not get through (twice), but they didn’t bother to check their messages! :smiley:

17

To be fair, supervisors rarely have their phones turned on to receive calls. This isn’t a major company where people would ever ask to “speak to a supervisor” It does seem very odd to me that she simply did not check her voicemail before resorting to calling my emergency contact and then the police (my ER contact’s number had changed, thankfully, or I would have had one very upset friend!)

I am sure this was part of the thought process. Just so you know, I am almost 2 years post-op and the only “complications” I have had are having had to have my gallbladder out and finding out that I have gout – neither is directly related to the surgery. While I am certainly a poster-child for the surgery, it is not a decision to be taken lightly because the risk of complications/mortality is very real. Ok, stepping off my soapbox now…

18

I think what happened is that the supervisor “got a vibe” since you were behaving differently than usual. We had a very reliable admin not show up for work one day and she could not be reached at home. Eventually the manager and a friend went to her house and found she had committed suicide.

19

But that is exactly what the boss was doing. He was tending to business. It was his business that the employee was not there.

This thing about not checking phone messages is bizarre. Also, how can you be two hours late for work before you realize that maybe you should call in? I don’t get it.

I would be glad if someone were looking after me that way, but terribly annoyed if she or he didn’t check the VM.

At school, teachers and administrative staff are expected to show up or call considerably ahead of time. When an assistant principal didn’t show up, a supervisor followed the path he would have taken to get from his house to school. She found him in his car unconscious because of a serious health problem.

20

I think it’s kind of cute that your boss called the cops because he thought you might be dead.

Annoying yes, but cute.