Is This True? (musicians, please read)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yesterday, my husband broke three of his toes. He tripped over a kid gate we’ve got here. Three toes, broken, bruised, and swollen. He’s in tremendous pain, and he can barely walk.

He’s at his teaching job right now, although I wanted him to stay home. This job will allow him to sit down, though, so he won’t have to put much pressure on this foot at all.

But he’s got a gig tonight, and he insists on playing it. Why? Because he swears up and down that he’ll lose the gig if he doesn’t. It’s a regular weekend job, same place, same time, every weekend. But he insists that club owners–all club owners, to hear him tell it–don’t give a crap about things like that. That the only reasonable excuse for not making a gig is your own death, and even that pisses them off, and they’ll fire the rest of the band.

I say that most normal people understand broken bones. He says club owners are not normal people.

He can’t sit down at his gig–he’s the lead guitar player, and the only guitar player in his band. Well, actually he probably could sit, but he’s also a pretty wild & woolly player, and sitting just doesn’t work with his style.

I don’t think he’ll get fired if he just tells the owner “hey, I’ve got broken bones. I need to sit with my foot up and take some painkillers for a night.” But he swears that he’ll just lose this gig forever if he does that.

My husband also has a bit of a problem with negativity, so I’ve got to wonder if he’s not exaggerating the club owner thing a bit. I could deal with it if he’d say something like “listen honey, I’d rather go out & earn a few bucks than spend the evening with you, the kids, and my Vicodin,” but nooooooo. He’s just saying that club owners are jerks, and he’ll get fired if he doesn’t show.

What say the rest of the folks who’ve had any experience with this? Oh, and would I be out of line to call the club owner myself and at least see if there’s anyone there that can help him move his gear, or would that just be a big ol’ affront to his masculinity?

2

Al, two years touring “A” rooms in Alberta, Saskatchewan, and BC tells me that Mr. Persephone is dead-smack on.

It’s a very very bad thing for the girl singer with the hooters to lose her voice. Especially when the alternative is a man with no hooters.

(Hooters! Hooters! It’s a Hooters kinda day!)

However, if he’s the regular dude, he should be able to negotiate with the guy, or find a replacement. One night won’t kill him.

3

So let him play. I’m a drummer and get to sit, but I have played with guys who got injured and needed to sit, and they sat and played. Whether it’s a part of his act or not, if he needs to sit or stop playing altogether, I believe he will sit. He needs to feel like a “trouper”. Let him. My 2 cents.

Quasi

4

Quasi: I understand that “I just wanna play” thing, really I do, and I’ve got no problem with that–if that’s what he’d say. If he’d tell me “honey, I don’t give a shit that by bones are broken–the boogie-woogie’s in me, and it’s gotta come out,” I’d be fine with that. Trust me. I understand how musicians can be. But he’s blaming this on the club owner, not his own self. He says he can’t take a night off, not that he doesn’t want to take a night off. He isn’t even willing to try to talk to the club owner. He just assumes that he’ll be fired if he can’t make it, even though he’s got what, IMHO, is a damn fine excuse. And if he’d called the club owner yesterday, he’d even have given him more than 24 hours notice, which in this town, is plenty of time to find a replacement band for one night.

5

Well, my band lost a gig because we were 5 minutes late.

It’s been my experience that club owners are a lot like what your hubby is describing. If they sign you for the night, you dang well better be there when they tell you. Otherwise, you’re likely not to play there again any time soon.

This has just been my experience tho’… I’m not sure how it would work if it were a regular gig. So, your mileage may vary.

I’m sorry Persephone, and also, here’s some healing thoughts for your SO. Hope he’s back on his feet soon.

6

My stepdad’s been a keyboardist in several bar bands and some of the stories he’s told me are flat-out crazy shit. I wouldn’t be surprised if he went with your husband’s assessment of bar owners as correct. They want to make a buck, music is a good way to do that (cover charge, increase in drink sales, etc.) and if people get pissed off that the band they were looking to hear isn’t around that night, at the least they’ll never come to the bar again, at the worst they’ll ask for their money back.

Which is not to say I don’t understand your viewpoint. From what I get out of your posts, you really feel Mr. P just isn’t being honest with you. You’d much rather hear that he’d rather be out playing (which is what you think he’s feeling) rather than coming up with some lame excuse about the jerk club owner.

He’s not being dishonest. The caprices of club owners are a hard fact of the music business and it’s one that confronts musicians at every turn. They may enjoy the living hell out of makin’ music but, like anything else that has the potential to make money, it involves some serious work. And the only way you can keep workin’ is to keep makin’ the boss happy. Club owners have a very high happiness threshhold.

It seems to me that Mr. P still loves to play, you know this and understand this, and he knows that you know and understand. So he doesn’t feel the need to make this explicit every time the subject comes up. My guess is he’s got a pretty good gig doing something he loves and making enough money to be worth it all, and now what concerns him is keeping it. Hence his concern with the club owner rather than convincing you that he loves being a musician.

One question, though - is this his only gig or is he doing others as well?

7

Is he member of the union? I personally never joined, but there is some protection there if a musician cannot make a gig because of an injury. I agree with you that he has a damn good reason for “sitting this one out”, but what are you gonna do, hogtie him? :smiley: As far as Mr. Persephone’s reasoning goes (see quote), there are other clubs, and if he is as good a picker as you describe then it’s just a matter of moving the gig.

IMHO, I think it is wonderful of you to care about him so much. Let us know what he ultimately decided, will you please?

Thanks

Quasi

8

It sounds like the show must go on. (Insert Three Dog Night music here)

Pers, if he plays, warn him about the interactions of narcotics and alcohol. The live bands Ive seen in a bar or club got a few complimentary drinks. If you need to, play to his professional pride. He won’t keep the job if he’s stoned out of his gourd, and he won’t play well either.

9

A lot of club owners have expectations… Maybe he can bargin to get some free drinks and sit down for a gig.

10

My husband is 40 years old, and has been playing professionally for about 25 years. Aside from teaching guitar and being a stay-at-home dad, it’s all he does. So I know he’s right when he says that club owners are hard-asses, but…these are broken bones we’re talking here.

Now, it was his toes he broke, not his fingers, so technically, he is still physically capable of playing. And he could probably get away with sitting down–the club owner doesn’t force them to stand. But he’s a real balls-out player (brief ad break–he’s got an MP3 at garageband.com if you want to hear him–his name is Tragedy James), and sitting all night would make him crazy. Finding another club here, though, is darn near impossible. There’s lots of bars, but almost all of them are either a) karaoke, b) rap/hip-hop, or c) country. My husband’s band is blues, so getting a sit-down gig in this city was really a stroke of luck.

Quasi: No, he’s not union. There’s a union here (this is Flint, Michigan, where nearly everything is union), but most of the bar musicians are not members.

Olent: Yes, he has a Tuesday sit-down as well. But that one is more of a jam session thing, where he can get away with pretty much whatever he wants, and it’s not his whole band. Just him and whoever else happens to show up. :smiley:

The biggest problem I have with him not taking a night off is the stay-at-home dad thing. I work Monday-Friday, 8-5, and right now, taking time off isn’t much of an option (don’t misunderstand–if he were completely incapacitated, of course I’d stay home). But come Monday, I’ve got to go back to work. And he’s not going to have given his foot any rest–he plays tomorrow night as well. And chasing our kids around is going to be difficult, if not impossible (one is 4, the other is not quite 2).

As for what he’s ultimately decided, well, he’s going to play, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to stop him. Sigh. I guess I just have a problem believing that a club owner would actually fire him for missing one night due to broken bones, you know?

11

The world according to Bon Scott IIRC

Gettin beat up BROKEN BONED gettin had gettin took
I tell ya folks it’s harder that it looks it’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

Gettin ripped off under paid gettin sold second hand that’s how it goes playing in a band.

12

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Quasimodem *
**

sigh Where was someone like you when I was playing my guts out?

“Pickers and The Women Who Love 'Em”… now there’s a title for a thread!

Persephone, my original response is still the same: The man is responding to his Muse. Let him.

Quasi

13

Quasi said:

And in response to it, Quasi said:

Lemme guess, Quasi–you’re a lead player too, aren’t you?

:::d&r:::
:wink:

14

…but yeah, I guess I’m a lead “player” in a sense.

Quasi

15

So you spend your free time hanging out with musicians, then?

:::d&r, again, until I can come up with a musician joke that Quasi hasn’t heard…:::

16

I played drums in a band that had a “regular” gig (once a week for about six months) and we were told that if we were even late we’d lose the job. I once dislocated my shoulder three songs into the set and kept playing out of fear of losing the job (I was drunk, though, so that helped). Yeah, generally club owners are pretty quick to blacklist you if you don’t toe the line. I wish your husband luck - and hopefully he’s got some vicodin or something he can take beforehand. He’d be in the great tradition of drugged-out musicians, at least.

17

That’s how musicians get themselves into jams like this in the first place - lack of good union representation.

You’ve listed several factors here that are really working against you, unfortunately. The biggest is that this gig is “all he does” besides teaching and staying at home for the kids. In other words, this is pretty much the only steady income he’s got. This isn’t a dig at him - I wish to God I could do the same thing! I think it’s wonderful that you’re this supportive of him doing what he loves to do - and which he’s excellent at! - but Mamma O is a music teacher as well and I know how rough that can be. And in a depressed area like Flint it would seem to me that the teaching aspect of things would be the weaker side of the deal.

I know it’s rough to believe a bar owner would be so cruel and capricious as to cancel a steady gig over one missed night but it happens, and happens often. They don’t care about good music, they care about the gate proceeds and drink sales. If your husband’s band brings it in, that’s fine - but Smoky there has gotta find someone to do it and if he feels he can’t rely on your husband then he’s gonna find someone else.

I guess the best best on this situation is to enlist the other band members to aid you in ensuring Mr. P actually sits his ass down for the whole evening, whether he wants to walk around or not. Do these guys depend on you for something? Practice space in the garage? A cool place to hang out? A steady supply of high-quality beer in the fridge? Tell ‘em if Mr. P doesn’t keep his blues-jammin’ butt glued to that seat for the evening, it’s all over. No more moral/emotional/physical/alcoholic support from the Persephone family if he takes so much as one step more than necessary to get on and off the stage at the start and the end of the sets. That way Mr. P plays and keeps the gig, you don’t have to worry about him aggravating his broken toesies, and everybody goes home happy.

18

Nah, Olent, the band doesn’t rely on me for anything. My husband, his bass player, and the keyboard player are all teachers at the same music store. The drummer (who is also a singing drummer, BTW) has another day gig–no wait, he doesn’t. He’s just been tossed in jail for child support. Hey Olent…looking for a steady weekend? :smiley:

As for the money, the paying gig doesn’t pay that much. None of the clubs here do–as you said, it’s pretty depressed. But it’s a little extra pocket cash between my paychecks. I’m the breadwinner, with the straight gig and the regular payday and the health insurance. I’m so nice. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

19

Me? Drum?! Please, I’m a musician. :smiley:

Well, the blackmail thing is still a viable option. Just throw a bone to the rest of the band (a case of good beer or something) if they snitch on Mr. P - whether he stands up or not. Then tell Mr. P he’s going to get a month’s free lodging at the Davenport Inn (is that what you freaky Midwesterners call a couch?) if you find out he played on his feet this week.

Simple enough.

20

Quasimodem is the drummer, isn’t he? A thousand pardons, dear Olent! I shall try much harder to become one with the preview button! :eek: