My foot fits in my mouth quite well, doesn’t it? 
dangermom, I didn’t mean to imply that you were the one who had said that guys shouldn’t walk in fields.
But, by the same token, I don’t think the OP went out of his way to talk to the girls, either. They were there, when he came out of where he was walking, completely serendipitously. And your implied characterization of his actions in that light did bother me.
[QUOTE=featherlou]
(Note that this statistic doesn’t differentiate between stranger and non-stranger rapes.)/QUOTE]
That probably makes a huge difference as far as marital rape/domestic violence is concerned (who cares what time it is when you’re in the privacy of your own home?). Though I was assaulted once in broad daylight, in front of a line-up of people. No, no one else said or did anything.
The OP has to remember that the girls simply reported him, the same way someone might tell the cops about a ‘suspicious’ looking car parked on their street. It was the cop that seemed to be overreacting by putting him in the ‘system’ (or claiming to have done so). The girls obviously felt something was off. To not report him, they would have had to suppress that feeling or instinct, which really doesn’t benefit anyone. The OP knows he’s not a predator. But how could anyone else?
Hmm, featherlou, the first quote you made talked about victims being in familiar daylight locations. I suppose it might be that the notices I see are just the ones that happen with complete strangers, which might occur more at night. Maybe I’m seeing a skewed perspective. I’m definitely not seeing a lot of data, as those notices only go up maybe 1-3 times per year.
Question for Autolycus: When you spoke to them, were you facing them? Walking towards them? Or did you speak to them over your shoulder? Were you smiling? I wonder if a change in those things would have completely changed their reaction. Just curious.
ETA: I’m sure nothing will come of this, but it will be interesting to see if a new notice is put up in my building. Will Auto become the new Stranger Danger in the neighborhood?
I’m not angry at the girls and never was. I’m only barely angry at the cops. I’d complain but it’d just be a waste of time and effort.
In retrospect, commenting to the girls on their attire was a wee bit foolish, but then, the initial hello was so awkward that I felt like I should say something more to rectify things. They followed their instincts and that was probably the right choice, although I do think it was a bit of an over-reaction. Life goes on.
The initial ‘hello’ was when they were 6ish feet in front of me. I was giving my usual smile, pleasant with no teeth showing. The ‘dance practice?’ comment was when they were 5 feet behind me. They were watching me as we passed by, and I believe I said it when I turned around to see they were still looking at me. To be honest my memory is a little hazy of the exact details of my ‘dance practice’ comment, but they were behind me I’m fairly sure.
Huh. If you stopped and did a full body turn, that might have come off as a little creepy. If you only turned your head but stayed in motion, then they might have overreacted. But obviously you did something that they didn’t like, or they wouldn’t have given it a second thought.
The bolding is mine.
OtakuLoki, I understand that from your perspective you feel the behavior described here veers into insanity. I ask you to set aside your perspective for a moment and trust that what the women here are describing is honest and real.
Most men are taller, heavier, and stronger than most women. Should a man decide to overpower a woman, chances are, he’ll manage it. Should a man decide to harm a woman, chances are, he’ll manage it.
We live in a society that only in the last thirty years has begun to honestly discuss rape and other sexual crimes as well as address the fact that sexual violence takes place far more often than previously admitted. The majority of sexual assaults committed are by men against women (do you need a cite for that or are you willing to stipulate that?). Yes, most sexual assaults are committed by men known to the victim, but the specter of an unknown assailant taking the opportunity presented by a woman alone and unprotected has been burned into women’s brains for much, much longer than thirty years.
It isn’t about the reality of the statistics. It’s about perception and gut instinct. Women tend to be much more aware of how vulnerable than men are. We tend to be much more aware than a random man could, if he chose to, hurt us very easily. We tend to be much more cautious in circumstances where help is far away and character references are unavailable.
I’m sorry that the caution those two young women showed makes you feel like your character and care for the women in your life has been dismissed. I wish it were possible to single out the men capable of and willing to attack a woman, but if that were the case, we could solve a lot of other problems just as confounding.
You aren’t being insulted. No one is drawing conclusions about your honor, your character, your history, or your personality. It isn’t about you. It’s about those women perceiving something off about the situation they were in, and going to the authorities about it - just as any of us would have cautioned them to do if they reported seeing a man coming out of a poorly lit, bushy area, engaging them in unexpected conversation, and then going off to another poorly lit area.
Autolycus, I’m sorry you were hassled by the cop. I think it’s possible to investigate threats without coming off like an asshole the way that cop did. Obviously, his people skills are lacking. I’ve heard more than a few stories from men close to me when their harmless actions were misread as something threatening and just how upset they were by that.
I wish we lived in a world where women felt comfortable walking across campus in the dark and men could take a stroll without calling suspicion to themselves. Until then, please don’t be angry with the students who reported you. They were frightened, they did what they’ve been told to do, and they felt like they were protecting themselves and others from a potential danger.
And, btw, it’s a darling picture, though your smile is a bit on the manic “I kill bunnies for fun” side. I’d ask you how you’re doing, but I’d rather not come off all cougarish.
Ask Auto if he thinks he was harassed by the wannabe cop.
I concur with** Velma** and phouka. It the situation that sucks–Autolycus did nothing wrong (and I think that Barney Fife got a bit overenthusiastic there), but I would have been creeped out, too. It has nothing to do with 9/11 (well, maybe the cop part of it does).
I once met a guy at a bar in college–I was tipsy, and I let him walk me home. BAD MOVE. I kept kicking myself the whole next day–now he knows where I live, he could have done anything to me on the way home; I was stupid etc. It turned out OK for me and I dated him for a few weeks.
My roommate was not so lucky. Same things happened to her–met a guy, walked her home, etc, and they went on another date. And he turned into Pyscho Creep from Hell. This was in the early 80s when stalking was essentially unknown. Jon stalked her, though–for 6 months.
Upshot of that is you just never know. I am 5’7" and was fit in college, but the guy who walked me home was 6ft and a former Varsity swimmer. He could have killed 118 pound me. Jon, the psycho was about 230 and 6ft as well–and my roomie was 5’4" and petite. No contest.
My daughter goes off to college next fall. I am having her read DeBecker’s The Gift of Fear and getting her a whistle. Such are the times we live in.
What does a sexual predator look like?
Seriously. Do they all have some distinguishing mark, and if so, what? Or do nice guys have some distinguishing mark of niceness, and if so, what?
You’re not a bad-looking guy (in any sense of “bad”), but neither was Ted Bundy.
Regardless of his own opinion it is clear he was not harassed. It would be different if they just grabbed him for no reason. They didn’t. There was a complaint that they are obligated to investigate. I can hear the RO threads if the girls were dopers and the cops did nothing. “Some creep approached me from the bushes at night and the cops didn’t even talk to him! Those do nothing wannabes won’t even do their jobs!”
And you can keep saying wannabe all night. Doesn’t make it correct. 'Round here all the officers on big campuses are fully trained and qualified police officers. Go to the same academies as all the other officers in the state. And they deal with the same crap as all the others, domestic violence, sexual assault, murder. Maybe in different percentages as other places but the same crap. In fact they probably have twice as many sexual assaults as other cops deal with. Try telling an officer from Rutgers-Camden that he is a wannabe.
I was being tongue-in-cheek. And for the record, I dont think I was being harassed. Bothered and annoyed by perhaps, but not harassed.
I don’t think you look like a sexual predator, Autolycus - you look more like someone who eats babies, IMO.
That’s what I love about this place; you can always count on someone to give you a hand up when you need it. 
Then I stand here corrected. Sorry for my misinterpretation of events, Loach.
This shows signs of terminal dumb.
The cop is already questioning you about your behavior, explicitly using the word “suspicious,” and you stuck your hands in your pockets?
There are places where that would have been an invitation to examine the bore of a handgun.
Well, I was cold, and yes, in retrospect, it was dumb. I’m not sure I get what you mean by ‘terminal dumb’ though, terminal as in it could have led to me being shot and killed, or terminal as in you’re calling me stupid?
Well you shouldn’t worry about getting shot just because your hands are in you pocket. It will get you an introduction to Mr Terry.
I’m kind of wondering if something else had happened to them earlier to make them so scared. Yeah, they could just be over-paranoid, and I know a lot of young women get “Be extra-vigilant while walking at night!” drilled into their heads, but it’s weird that they were staring at Autolycus so hard the very second he showed up. I’m picturing a situation where they heard noises, started speculating they were being followed, got themselves all worried, and then, whoops, here appears Autolycus at exactly the wrong moment.
I agree with other posters who said that the “Dance practice?” question would raise a bit of a red flag for most women in that situation. It’d make me keep a furtive eyeball on a guy, however, not call the cops! If I’d had a creepy night in general, though, I could maybe see it.