It Never Fails


I get out of bed, put on a great looking outfit (white tank-top, black Wranglers), curl my hair (it came out great, for once), the make-up worked, I was “stylin’” and looookin goooooood. :slight_smile:

I hit every store in the mall, Target, and even the gas station.

Didn’t see a soul.


I drag my ass out of bed. Slipped on the ragged sweats, pulled my hair into a pony tail, skipped on the makeup, and went running.

Afterward, sweaty and looking worse than when I left my house, I decide to run into the grocery store to grap some bottled water and some peaches. No one should be there, afterall it was only 9:00 a.m. on a Sunday.

WRONG! I first run into an old girlfriend who moved away years ago. She divorced and just moved back. I then run into an ex-sister-in-law (the gossipy, catty one). To top it off, as I am getting into my car, a truck pulls next to me and out steps the most gorgeous man I have seen in a long time. I didn’t even stick around to flirt.


Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.

Of course, it’s those pesky CIA satellites.


Hadn’t shaved and was wearing last night’s party clothes when the girl I had a fifteen-year unrequited crush on shows up in church because she’s in town visiting her folks.

On the plus side, I got to see her shiny new wedding ring.

“You can’t tell me what sucks!” - Beavis, a true Objectivist

Glad I’m a dude who doesn’t CARE what he looks like in public… :slight_smile:

Yer pal,

Ugh, stop it Roachman, it hurts.

I have the same problem with my apartment. It can be clean for an entire week and nobody drops in unexpectedly. But as soon as it’s messy, the entire neighborhood comes a calling! And for some reason, my son’s nose only gets snotty and crusty when other people are around.

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” Albert Einstein

Well, well, it just goes to show that, once again, Joan Crawford holds all answers to life. She said, “Never go outdoors unless you look like you’re ready to be photographed.”

My mom drummed the same thing into me: the one time you go out looking like the wreck of the Mary Deare, that’s when Mr. Right, Action News and/or your ex will bump into you. I’m one of those people who can’t even take the garbage out unless I know my lipstick’s on. it’s a little gift to everyone who sees you, looking your best. The world’s ugly enough, without adding to it.

I remember I once saw a photo of an airport after a terrorist bombing. There was a dead woman lying there, and she was wearing the CUTEST dress–it was kinda beige and brown, with a peplum effect. And I thought, y’know, if I’m going to be photographed lying there dead, I wanna make sure no one says, “oh my God, where did she get those AWFUL shoes?”


I happen to think that I look perfectly fine without make up and don’t feel that I am subjecting the public to ugliness when I go out without it (which is always).

I also think that if I am lying dead in an airport somewhere and some spectator who I do not know finds “bad shoes” to be the only fitting comment, they can go fuck themselves.

“I think it would be a great idea” Mohandas Ghandi’s answer when asked what he thought of Western civilization

Well, Lucky, I guess some of us simply wish to present our best face to the world. We in New York recently lost three of our more attractive citizens in a plane crash, so the rest of us have to work all the harder to bring up the cuteness curve.

And if you were going to be “caught dead,” wouldn’t you rather be in a nice outfit, than in a schmatta?

On the other hand, the average IQ in New York rose considerably. Also, there are three less Darwin Awards candidates now :slight_smile:


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)




My “best” face is my REAL one.

This is a non-smoking area. If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and act accordingly.

YES! I wear makeup when the urge strikes me… which is once every few months. The rest of the time I don’t. If that offends anyone, having to look at me, well, fuck them.

I think I look fine without it, and if you don’t think so, don’t look.

“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”
OpalCat’s site:
The Teeming Millions Homepage:

I admire Flora’s attitude; I just can’t live up to it.
Gotta say though, if someone saw me dead in tragic circumstances, I’d hope they would mourn the loss life, potential, etc. etc. rather than my rather than any lapses in fashion sense. That said, my reaction to seeing somone killed in a terrorist attack wouldn’t be elevated at all: “Omigod, that’s a CORPSE!”

This isn’t intended as a cheap shot, Flora. I honestly admire people who set high standards for themselves. But I slouch along the middle road, figuring that undertakers are grossly overpaid anyway to spiff me up for the formal farewells.

But I’m fanatically clean, and always wear great underwear. My mom warned me about that; in case of an accident I don’t want the EMT’s shoving me back out of the ambulance because I’m a skanky loser in torn undies.

But THAT’S only sensible…


I’ve been blessed with good coloring and a fiance whose reaction, when I wear makeup (about once a year) is: “Ewww! You have MAKEUP ON, DON"T YOU???Ewwwww!”

One of the main problems with attitudes like Flora’s is that she’s stuck: since everyone always sees her with makeup, she inevitably looks bleached out and sick when she doesn’t wear any, just by contrast. So, according to her own perception of herself and that of others, when she goes without she’s perceived as looking bad…or worse. Whereas with me, everyone is accustomed to my completley naked face. Then, when I do decide to liven it up just for fun, I look all sparkly and special. But when I go back to myself the next day I’m not perceived as looking bad.

The other problem I have with that attitude is purely political. Why is a woman at her “Best” with makeup? Men don’t wear makeup to look their “best”, why should I? Why is my true face less than my best?

It’s not.

This is a non-smoking area. If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and act accordingly.

Isn’t this why we get married or get steady girl/boyfriends? We don’t have to “do the dance” anymore. Take me or leave me baby!

Well, not to compound the fracture, but in my experience, make up has a lot more to do with MY perception of me than what other people see.

BTW, I’m a fanatic for subtle makeup. Given that I hate, HATE the feeling of gunk on my face, I figure that makeup is just to cleverly accentuate my the good points and distract from the (gag) less than glamorous parts.

So…long winded? moi?–when I’ve defiantly gone out in public with my bare face hanging out, maybe it shouldn’t have been such a shock when no one noticed any difference.

Theory 1: my make up is so subtle it’s invisible: success or stupidity?
Theory 2: people notice this stuff a hell of a lot less than the “beauty” industry wants
us to believe.
Theory 3: when people notice, it may not be admiration: hey, her eyelids aren’t

Then again, I’m fashion challenged. Or just a slouch.

Back to you guys,

OK, so call me a radical feminist, but I don’t wear makeup. Well, not NEVER- but rarely. I’m not Miss America, but I look in the mirror and I think I look beautiful- no gunk needed. I’ve even had many men tell me that they find it attractive that I don’t wear it- very natural. Cool!
I also happen to think most women are very beautiful without makeup. I love the feeling of getting out of the shower, putting my hair back, getting dressed, and leaving the house- no fooling around. I do get the urge occasionally, and I understand why people wear it, but I love not being a slave to it. I’m definately of the “love me or leave me” mindset.

However, re: the OP, nothing sucks worse then running into an old “chum” of any kind when you’re unshowered/wearing old sweats and just had to run out for a second.

Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

Uh, guys, don’t you think maybe Flora was exaggerating, just a bit, there, for comic effect?

Baudelaire wrote a wonderful essay about Parisian women’s makeup back in the 1850s or '60s…I believe the title was “On Artifice,” but I’ll look it up if anyone cares…he suggested COMPLETELY PAINTING ONE’S FEATURES OUT and starting over from scratch.

I have a gut feeling HIS tongue was in his cheek, too.


Well, first of all, I consider myself a radical feminist, too.

Second, I don’t paint myself up like Baby Jane Hudson: I wear lipstick, a dusting of powder and maybe a touch of mascara. And no one sees me with a “bare-naked face,” so that has never been a problem. If they see that, I have to kill them.

And I’m delighted that Lucky and Stoidela choose to walk about in public looking like slatterns and fishwives–makes the rest of us look all the better by comparison!

I like wearing makeup…but that’s because I like it. I don’t really give a hoot what others think of my face. I’m not trying to score anything anymore. I wear mascara on a regular basis, because I’m a natural redhead, and if I don’t wear mascara, it really looks like I have no eyelashes whatsoever. I don’t like the way I look with no eyelashes.

And I am never, ever more than 2 feet away from a lip gloss… :slight_smile: