The article doesn’t tell us why the parents opted to evict their grown son… We’re assuming it’s because he’s approaching middle age and is mooching off them, but perhaps his behavior is intolerable. You can’t physically force a grown man to flush the toilet after himself, put his clipped fingernails in the trash, get dirty dishes out of his room before mold and maggots appear, or refrain from verbally abusing his parents.
And the response to “I didn’t ask to be born” is “Neither did we!” Since the parents also didn’t ask to be born, they don’t need to be responsible, either.
The other common version where a grown child stays with their parents beyond adulthood involves the child becoming the caretaker. That’s fine if it’s voluntary on all parts, but it’s neither something I believe children should have to do, nor that it should be done in that specific way.
The children never asked for this “life,” the parents impose that on to their offspring. The person never asked to be brought into a world where they would need food, clothing, shelter; the parents created that need where there was none before. Parents are enduringly indebted to their offspring, not the other way around.
An 18 year old adult has the option and right to opt out of life if he finds it so unbearably onerous. Unless said young adult is the type who lacks the courage of his convictions and prefers instead to hold a grudge.
I know many happy, successful, well adjusted adults who left home and started their own lives independent of their parents. Indeed, eagerly. I know very few (none actually) who stayed and did not profoundly regret doing so.
This seems to be the premise upon which your argument hinges. It has… flaws. The most fundamental of which has already been noted: every human being has an avenue of redress if they do not care for the (admittedly mixed and challenging) gift of life. You don’t like it, you get to leave. Hell, death is one of only two fundamental rights we accrue at birth. We get to live, and we get to die, and we always have the latter option.
(I say that as a psychotherapist and suicide crisis counselor, so understand that I am not being flippant.)
But in sidestepping that, you seem to be suggesting that the opportunity to be alive is not itself sufficient, and that those who afforded you that opportunity somehow “owe” you more. More options, more opportunities, more comfort, more whatever it is you think will make life…what, easier? Better?
What’s the end game? If parents owe their kids a lifetime of ease (or as much as they can provide), what is that debt in service of?
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Does this apply to birds? I ask because there was a robin’s nest right outside my home until recently. The mean ol’ birds made all the poor chicks leave the nest. I bet the fledglings didn’t even ask to be born.
A good parent would rarely see the need come up - children would have been raised so that they expect to strike out confidently on their own, without being forced.
But kids occasionally need some forcing - in this and other matters. When they do, consistent failure to apply it is cowardly and contemptible. It’s at least analogous to parents emotionally or sexually abusing their children in that it can screw up their children’s lives for years to come.
In case I’m not making myself clear: Your views on this subject appear to be spectacularly, profoundly, egregiously wrong.
The first thing I thought when reading the OP, is this is a young non-parent writing who feels sorry for himself and wishes he had a sugar daddy.
Your advice would lead the rapid end of civilization for all the reasons others have said. Most of one’s happiness comes from the accomplishment’s one personally achieves. Adults living in their parent’s basements are not people I am going to want to hang out with.
My son (who has had some setbacks) probably thinks somewhat along the lines of the OP. He has said only billionaires should have children so that the children never have to work (another brilliant long-term plan). However, after being poor for a while and finally finding a job that suits him, he is actually happy and doing things he likes to do like travel. Maybe he will stop asking when we are taking him on our next vacation.
I’ve seen a lot of “well, if they don’t like life, they can kill themselves” comments.
That’s like kidnapping someone, chaining there leg to a wall, and telling them, “hey, if you don’t like it here, you can use the hacksaw I gave you to saw through your foot and leave.”
IMO if you look at it as an economic transaction in this way, it doesn’t make sense. I think you do owe your kids, while they still need it.
However, I think there’s often a transition point where parents say “You’re mature enough now, our relationship needs to change, we won’t pay for everything anymore”. Hopefully in each case parents can do that in a good way at a suitable time. It’s probably different every time.
