Oh, and I want to add a side note for everybody here. I have to say one of the things i truly appreciated most was the phone calls, cards, etc. that came 6 months, a year, or more since then asking how I’m doing, or telling me that I’m being thought of .
It has been eleven years since my wife died. It gets better.
No other person experiences exactly what you experience when your spouse dies. Others around you cared about him, loved him, miss him, but nobody is feeling exactly what you’re feeling, and that makes you feel alone even when you are with others. At least that’s how it was for me. People do care, but none of them has as big a hole in their lives as you do.
People don’t really know what to do around you. They don’t know whether to speak of him, or to avoid the subject. And the unpredictability of your emotions makes them even more uncertain.
From my experience and from observing others, you are probably at the beginning of the end of the worst of it. You are doing the kinds of things you should be doing. You will be in my prayers.
In my 70 plus years I have lost a few to death. I have lost a lot more to other men, some to other interests, time and places. I know I am in a minority here but those lost to death have been the most easy for me to accept.
Brynda - I know you’re not religious, but you might think about joining a church (I know the Unitarians don’t seem to care if you believe in God). Regular social contact would be a good thing. What would be even better would be a weekly trivia night somewhere. I think Coach’s bar over by Church and Broad does Trivia on Tuesdays. You and I could go once or twice and see if we enjoy it. I love trivia! (Except for sports trivia).
StG
There is a reason traditional mourning for a widow is a year, it really does take time. I’m sure your friends are a bit afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, widows often have this problem and have for a long time. People nowadays know better how to deal with a friend who has had a divorce than they do with someone whose spouse has died.
Of course one way friends deal with a friend’s divorce is to talk trash about the ex. I cannot imagine anyone talking trash about RickQ. I imagine your pain must be all the worse because you lost someone who was so entirely wonderful. I have never known a kinder, gentler, more sensitive, more generous soul in all my life. If this were a story, we could have predicted his untimely death, because he seemed too good for this world in so many ways. I saw from his posts that he was completely overwhelmed by you. He loved you completely and you made him very happy.
It sounds like you are keeping involved, and active and even being creative. I don’t know what more you want from yourself; it sounds like you are doing what you need to do. It has only been six months.
Brynda– ever since Mom died, my life has been like that.
I know.
I’m sorry to hear about your husband. Loss is very hard. I lost my former fiancee suddenly and it blew me out of the water. But you will get through it. Mankind is a surprisingly resilient species. It took me over a year… and I wasn’t even married to him yet. Keep doing things that make your happy, keep you busy and keep with the group. Eventually you will find light at the end of the tunnel… 
i lost my husband 6 months ago today. i just saw your post. how are you these days?
Hang in there… life does get better.
{sending hugs, love and strength to you}
Zombie thread, obviously dealing with a personal situation.
I’ll close it.
Welcome to the SDMB, nanrayhill.
I’m sorry for your loss, which I’m sure is still very fresh and painful. (Sunday is the second anniversary of my BIL’s death – I’ll be doing something with my sister.)
Spectre of Pithecanthropus closed this thread because it was about an old issue. If you’d like to start a new thread to talk about your own situation and have others share their stories, that would be quite okay, and I encourage you to do so.
Again, welcome – I think you’ll find us a supportive community.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator