Back in the mid-90’s, a close friend of mine attended our house party in his that day completed restoration/souping up of his 1972 Chevy Nova SS. It was gorgeous. Super-flake electric blue, fat tires, juiced engine. A hell of a lot of car.
Unfortunately, he had a little too much to drink, decided to take some of the other guys on a spin through our neighborhood… and crashed into a house.
Luckily, no one was hurt. Car was totaled. Two years of work - gone. We did manage to bag up a bunch of windshield for him.
I just bought a new car last night. You guys are making me nervous!
I suppose I’d be much more nervous if I’d bought something that flies, though…
One of my childhood friends was having his 8th birthday party. His dad had all of us kids come out to the front yard. Dad makes a big show going to the car parked in the driveway to open the back door, to present to George his big birthday gift, a new dog!!!
Dad, opened the door, and the dog took off, never to be seen again. George never got to pet him, name him, nothing. George’s family lived out in the country. Dog must have ventured into the woods or something. George’s dad searched for about 3 hours and never saw the dog.
[del]If you do it right[/del] If everything goes wrong, your car can still fly. And the outcome will probably be appropriate for this thread.
So here’s hoping you can remain a spectator here. 
Not quite me … Decades ago I *sold *a car to some guy. With him aboard I drove it to his bank to cash his check. With the cash in my pocket we signed the papers at the bank & he drove me back to my place in his new car. He totaled it on the way to his place. Oh well.
Most of the brand new stuff I’ve wrecked has been when I went cheapo & bought junk to begin with. E.g. cheap tools or “as seen on TV” Kitchen-magic Vege-whizzes. Been quite a few years since I gave up on both those bad habits.
Last week the handles ripped off my “reusable” grocery bag as I’m walking out of Aldi’s. 4 clamshells of on-sale blackberries explode in every direction after the heavier items land on them. Didn’t even get out of the store and I had A) no berries and B) a mess to clean up. A very juicy mess.
Oh good, because I cracked up when I read that story!
Years ago, my mom had bought us a house and we were moving in and getting it fixed up. My aunt knocked a YUUGE can of white paint off a table and onto a dark green carpeted floor. We froze in horror, but Mom and my aunt just threw up their hands and started to laugh. Then we all busted our tails trying to soak up that paint out of the carpet, and in the end, got it pretty clean. The pile never rose again though.
Okay… I probably shouldn’t be cracking up, but that’s about the most horrible yet hilarious thing I’ve read in a long time. I’m imagining the dad opening the door, the dog just bolting, and everyone just kind of standing stunned as the dog hauls ass off into the distance.
Back to the OP, I know I mangled a few toys irreparably on Christmas morning, and once had bought a cool fishing lure, and tied a cruddy knot as a kid, and managed to cast the lure, sans line, way out into the bay. Nothing quite like feeling that little tug at the end of the line and watching the lure continue on a graceful arc, ending with a little splash.
Somone gave me a boomerang. I googled how to throw one. I went out onto some open land and threw it.
Its flight was beautiful and graceful, right up until it disappeared into a massive oak tree a hundred metres away never to be seen again (I went back to look a dozen times in the year that followed).
It went back to the person who gave it to you!
When I was a kid we got a new riding lawn mower. I had never driven a riding lawn mower before when my dad told me to drive it out to the pickup. I stopped a little way back from the pickup and dad told me to drive it up further. Drove right into the back of the pickup and busted up the front end. Dad was not pleased.
Thanks for the reminder … I did something a few years ago that was sorta a combo of these.
We’d just rehabbed our kitchen. It was small, so we’d splurged on materials since there wasn’t much quantity of any one thing. The floors were an extra fancy granite tile. The crowning touch was to roll the new fridge into place. It took some jostling and tipping but we got it into its cubby-space all nice and square and straight.
The new fridge had been out in the dining room with all our food in it for the last week. In celebration I whipped the door open with a flourish to retrieve bottled beers for everyone. Beers that had been neatly arrayed on the top shelf near the front edge of the shelf. Beers that instantly cascaded to the floor as the door opened and detonated on contact.
My beautiful floors and real wood cabinets were less than a minute old. And now they’re covered in beer & glass shards while beer is running behind all the new appliances. We decided to share the two that hadn’t fallen before we spent two hours cleaning up the other ten. What a mess! Quite the buzzkill that was!
There is some funny shit in this thread.
You got what you deserved for sliding into first base!
You ever try overrunning = running through a rose bush? Her slide sounds like self-preservation, not softball tactics.
That reminds me. Last year my ancient refrigerator finally died, so I called my landlords to tell them I needed a replacement. When I got home there was a new fridge installed, but the door was hinged on the opposite side from the old one. When I opened it, the door crashed into the stove, leaving a nasty dent.
I called the landlord, who got the door attached on the correct side. And that’s the story behind that single fridge magnet that never moves from one spot on my fridge.
My very first “real” car (as in: not a 25-year-old Ford Impala I bought from gramma for $50) was a bootiful 1985 silver Ford Mustang with a snazzy gray interior.
On the Very First Official Ride I Took My Friends On, front-seat friend badgered me until I allowed her to smoke in the car; I finally gave in, so long as she hung halfway out the window and absolutely no ash got in the car.
She lit up and a moment later I had to brake hard to avoid a rear-end accident. SHZZZZZZZZZZHSZ went her cigarette, right into the headliner.
I got pissed off every time I looked at the burn spot for the four years I had the car. Even thinking about it now makes my lips purse and my eyes narrow.
And this one was self-inflicted:
When I was four and baby bro was two, we got Hoppity Horses for Christmas. Something in my little OCD brain told me to stab my horse with a sharp pencil to see what would happen: yup, instant horse deflation!
I cried, I raged, I mourned . . . then an hour later did the same thing to baby bro’s hoss. Same outcome, same tantrum, this time augmented with anguished brother’s wails. I was a really weird kid.
For those unfamiliar with Hoppities: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/143059725635615794/
Around 12 years old I bugged my dad repeatedly for my own baseball bat. Kids on my team brought their own bats, although team bats were available.
Finally my dad capitulated and bought me my very own bat.
As soon as I got home I decided to practice swinging it in the garage. On the very first swing I followed through onto something that gouged a large trench out of my brand new bat.
I still recall how absolutely terrible I felt about it.
My dad had some “plastic wood” patching compound in his work room. I did my best to fill and sand the gouge, but the integrity and resonance of the bat was lost forever, on the very first practice swing.
Definitely cheap umbrellas. At local kwik-e-mart. Started to rain cats and dogs. Got one for like 3$. Go out, annnnnd is gone. In more than one occasion. Should know better.
I bought a computer with Windows 8.
When I worked retail a guy and his buddy came in who was running an errand picking up a new high-end refridgerator for his wife’s new kitchen. No sooner had they loaded it up in the back of their pick-up truck and left that they were back in the store.
They wanted to buy another one???
Turns out they weren’t too skilled at securing things and as soon as they got on the main road the fridge dumped out the back of the truck and was totalled.