Terribly stupid things you've done.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

A few weeks ago, I purchased a lovely new cell phone for $220, and quickly fell in love with the thing.

A few hours ago, I picked my boyfriend and a friend up from school. I got onto the highway, and several seconds later I heard a loud ‘clunk’.
“Uh, did someone leave something on the roof of my car?” I ask.
“Your phone,” says boyfriend.
Not completely getting it, I ask, “what?”
“You put your phone on the roof when Mike was getting in the back seat,” he explains.
The best thing I can manage to voice is a string of foul words as I try to decide whether to yell at boyfriend in an attempt to blame it all on him based on vague reasons, or admit that I’m an idiot and suck it up. I decided to go with the former, then the latter.
I turned around, got back on the interstate, and pulled over onto the shoulder.
I located the phone, and moments later, located the battery. The battery appears to have actually been run over, while the phone part at least looks intact and may or may not function when given a functional battery.

So if you saw a girl darting back and forth across 676 right over the Ben Franklin in Jersey at approximately 11:30 tonight, it was me.

In addition to feeling like the world’s least deserving of life… person… I can’t believe I was so completely careless with something so expensive. I can’t believe I have to shell out another $200 (I really wish I had gotten that five dollar a month “we’ll replace your phone no matter how stupid the reason you don’t have a phone anymore is” insurance). I don’t even remember putting it on the roof.
This has been a bad week for me, what with failing all of my classes, uh…the fact that I work at K-Mart, and realizing my car is about to die, so this kind of tops it off nicely.
In conclusion, I have a request.
Please share stories of totally idiotic things you’ve done. Added bonus if they were financially damaging things. Maybe it will make me feel better.

2

Jersey girl here too so I am starting to worry bout our water. Anyway, dumb dumb dumb…The time I was rushing to my car in a heavy rain with grocery bags and my automatic door opener did not unlock the car door…I seriously thought I might have to call for help. Stood there contemplating way too long before I realized that I had a key to put in the lock…Duh? Imagine that? getting in the car the old-fashioned way…Keys…never leave home without them

3

<Not from Jersey, but I did have a six-hour layover at Newark Airport, so does that fulfill residency requirements?>

Another car key thing.

Packed up all my props into the car after a modeling session - driver’s door and passenger door is open, back doors are shut. Can’t find the keys. Anywhere. Not on the seat, not on the dash board, not in the pockets, not under the car, not between the seats, not in the duffel bag. Major panic sets in - I’m supposed to meet a friend for lunch and a movie, and my wallet is attached to the keys (ID, crecit cards, as well as house and car keys). Twenty minutes of panicking, I called my friend and cancelled (with a promise the next two outings would me MY treat), located the spare keys (well-hidden in the car), get home, get in the house (yup, spare in the car), cancel all the credit cards, go back outside to the car to totally empty the car and check again.

And see that the keys and wallet are in the driver’s side door.

4

I made the mistake of stir-frying while drinking Diet Coke. As I was intent on my cooking, I reached for the bottle and took a swig. Turned out to be Worchestershire sauce!

5

My cousin did the same thing. Except he was working as a mechanic and bleeding brakes. He took a swig of brake fluid! :eek:

6

Let’s see… six hours in a city I refuse to associate with my state. Sure, that counts.

IN the door? :eek:

I once lost my keys in a movie theater parking lot. After frantically searching and tearing my car apart for twenty minutes, shouting, “but I just had them!” (door was locked, unlocked door. Sat down to start car, keys not in hand) a man passing by was nice enough to point out that they were still hanging in the driver’s side door lock.

7

Naturally, I am too smart to do anything stupid and embarassing :wink:

But I will tell on my sister! :smiley: Several years ago, she was making nachos. Got 'em all ready, put 'em in the oven, and set the oven to broil. Then the phone rang, and she starts gabbing away to her friend. Meanwhile, the nachos are done. So she just pops the door open and reaches right in with her bare hands to grab the (now hot) tray full of nachos. :eek: She still hasn’t lived that one down.

8

With a friend, paid $1300 for an unbroken 3 year old pony mare, with the idea of training her and selling her in the immediate future. Plan is going great, mare is easy to train, moves nicely, has a natural ability for jumping.

Fast forward 6 months. Mare keeps getting fatter even though we keep cutting back her feed. Her teats (the horse equivalent of breasts for those unknowing) are swollen. Take her to vet. “Uhhh, she’s gonna have a baby. Next month, maybe.”

Oooooooh. Kinda put a crimp in our plans. Lesson learned. Do pregnancy checks on mares prior to paying money for them!

9

The OP reminded me. A few years ago I was walking down the street and happened to look up as two women got into a car about 20 or 30 yards down the road. The passenger had left all her stuff on the car roof - her diary, her purse her phone…the lot, all piled up. As the car started and the taillights came on I sprinted down the street, got to the car just as it began moving and while reaching for the woman’s stuff, banged loudly on the passenger’s window. I’m pretty sure the two women lost control of their bowels - they looked horrified, then angry and quickly grateful when I held out the armful of goodies.

Dumbest thing I’ve done. When I was a teenager a bunch of us were arguing about whether a car running over your foot would crush it. I was certain that it wouldn’t and to prove my point I stood at a corner and as a car went round stuck my foot under the tire. Afterwards one of the guys pointed out “Hey what if you were wrong and it just crushed all the bones in your foot?” At that point I realised I had no way of knowing that it wouldn’t and my uncrushed foot was just dumb luck.

10

The “losing my keys in plain sight” stories reminded me of something retarted I did a month or so ago. I had my hands full of stuff as I approached my back door and realized the door was locked. I caught myself pressing my remote entry “unlock” button for my car to try and open the back door :rolleyes: .

11

Ah, How I Ruined My Own Fricking Spring Break!

So I’m on Spring Break and, since I’m home all day, I’m doing the cooking while the Little Woman works. I’ve chucked a frozen lasagna in the oven and the time has come to lift the foil and be sure everything’s going ok. I open the oven, which we call The Oven of Doom, because it cooks 10000 degrees hotter than the dial says. Now the lasagna’s sitting right there with foil on top of it.

The obvious choice would be take the lasagna out of the oven, take the foil off, and put it back in.

Because I am Man, doing things the safe way would require a revocation of my Man Card.

I bend over and stick my hand into the oven, using one of those oven pad things to claw at the foil and try and lift it up. Naturally, the foil is kinda stuck on there, so I’m pawing at it with my hand, which is covered by the oven mitt thing. And, finally, the foil lifts up. My hand, which had been using some force, continues in an upwardly direction until the tender back of my hand touches the very hot metal of the Oven of Doom.

After registering my displeasure with the oven via a stream of loud invective, I moved in a slow, reasonable fashion to the bathroom, whereupon I commenced treatment that most certainly didn’t involve fumbling in the medicine cabinet while yelling, “WHERE IS THE GODDA*NED BURN GEL?!?!” in anything above an indoor voice.

So I spent the rest of my spring break with my burn covered with a slimy burn pad and wrapped in gauze, which made it hard to do just about everything. Cause I burned my right hand and I’m right handed.

Remember, kids. Don’t be stupid.

12

All I can say is that when making Rice Krispy Treats, don’t decide it would be easier to mix the Rice Krispies and molten marshmallows with your bare hands.

13

[QUOTE=Bre’r Lappin]
.
IN the door? :eek:
QUOTE]

In the door lock (mentally skipped a word when writing). I drove home with the keys and wallet hanging out of the driver’s side door lock. Like when you have the gas cap open.

14

Those key stories only rate an 7 or so on the dumb scale, here is the 10.

One time, I’ve driving to work really early in the morning. About a mile down the road I start doing a mental inventory. Smokes… check, Wallet… check, lighter… check, man purse… check. Keys… not in that pocket, not in that pocket, not in the coat pocket. Ohhh crap if I don’t have those keys I can’t get in my office. I pull over and search the car. Not on the seat, not on the floor, not under the seat. Oh shit am I in trouble if I lost my keys. I turn around drive home, turn off the car, and run inside looking for my keys. My roomate asks me what I’m so crazy about, and tell him I lost my keys. He gives me the ‘wolfman has gone one more step off the deep end look’ I am so used to and says “ummm they’re in your hand”.

D’oh!, that’s probably cause I just pulled them from the ignition, which is where they usually are while I’m driving. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees.

15

Ah, heh, I once started walking over to the building of our campus that houses security to report my badge missing because I couldn’t find it anywhere in my bag or pockets. After I had put it on not 5 minutes before I decided it was missing. At least I only got half way to the building before looking down and realising I was wearing it.

16

At work, most of the doors are locked for security reasons. Some have slide cards similar to what they use in hotels now and others have pushbutton “cipher” locks. I am always pulling out my slide card as I approach a door with a cipher lock. What’s even worse is sometimes at the end of the day, I pull out the slide card as I approach my car, instead of the keys with the remote entry transmitter.

17

Two ponies for the price of one! YAY! Free pony!

18

That’s what I was going to say. I don’t get it, is a pregnant pony bad? Isn’t it good to get a second one for free?

RE: Stupid Things.
Man I’ve done a lot. I took my cell phone swimming once. And a couple months later, I took its replacement jet skiing. My cell phone insurance has since cancelled my contract.
Note to self: Keep phone away from water!!!

19

Dumb thing number 1- My husband and his friend drove to San Antonio, 2 hours from our house. I get a phone call at about 8pm from him, telling me that he locked the keys in the car. Not only did he lock the keys in the car, he locked the keys in the car, in the ignition, with the car still running.
There was a cop there, but he wouldn’t open the car for him, because apparently, they aren’t allowed to pop electric locks because someone’s car caught on fire when they did that. Whatever, I jumped in the truck with my extra set of car keys and drove up to SA to save the day.
(Yeah, he could have called a locksmith, but it was a weekend and a night, so rates would have been insane.)

So, I drive up and see the car. Dave (The friend) is standing there, and I walked up and pushed the button on the remote to unlock the car. I tried the door and freaked out “Oh shit! I completely forgot that you can’t use the remote to unlock the car when the car is running. Crap, this was a wasted trip, what are we going to do now?”
Dave looked at me and said “Um. Use the key?”
I swear, I’m not usually that stupid. :slight_smile:

BTW- My brother has had his cell phone insurance canceled too. He’s gone through more phones than my husband and I combined. Then again, we’ve had the same phones since we opened our accounts.

20

This one happened to a friend of mine. We were at work and she commented that she couldn’t find her car keys, which wasn’t really a problem because she had spares. But she also had her car alarm remote on that ring and to replace it would cost a 100 bucks. She searched her house, car and purse for about a week before she decided they were gone for good and went out and bought a new alarm remote.

The next day, of course, she found them…in the bottom of her purse that she’d already searched. Just apparently not that thoroughly.