You’re supposed to kiss his balls for luck.
Starting a Pit thread does not automatically mean that one has one’s panties in a twist. It’s just as likely that one is simply blowing off steam, and I didn’t see all that much steam in the OP. Calling the customer “douche”? It’s the Pit. Gratuitous insults are par for the course, as you noted.
Bottom line: Rigamarole heard what may or may not have been a joke, but coupled with the customer’s tone and body language took it as the latter. A bunch of people who were not there to see or hear the customer take it as the former and, as a result, cast aserpsions upon op’s incontinence. Take out the incontenence and you get something like this thread.
and as johnny carson said, doesn’t that make his putter stand up.
He said it floored him. The lady shook her finger at him and called the drink Tiger Woods. And it floored him.
His panties did indeed become a bit contorted over this.
I for one don’t think the precise topology of the man’s dainty underthings is of particular importance. I’m pretty sure the stick is staying up there on its own.
ARNOLD PALMER!
slowly I turned, inch by inch
And to respond to the OP, I know I wasn’t there and I can’t read the lady’s mind, yadda, yadda.
But frankly, I think its highly likely that she didn’t know the drink was called a Arnold Palmer, but when you corrected her, she wanted to show you that she was at least sophisticated enough to know that Palmer is a golfer (“So take that you smart-mouthed whippersnapper!”). Her method of doing that was by bringing up Tiger Woods. Anyone who hasn’t been living in a cave knows that Woods is a golfer, but only people who are relatively knowledgable know that Palmer is one. She was trying to show you that she was in the latter group without being obvious about it. I don’t get a sense that she was being serious.
If someone corrected me on a minor point and I was concerned about them thinking I’m dumb, I’d have the urge to do the same thing. Now why this lady would care about the opinion of some stranger waiting her table, I don’t know. But maybe she didn’t want you to think she was a moron for not calling her drink by its “proper” name, and decided to let you know not to underestimate her just because she’s old and has been drinking lemonade and ice tea (and calling it that) loooooong before some man decided to stick his name on it.
I’m actually kind of impressed that she knew who Arnold Palmer is. I can’t imagine that there’s a whole bunch of old ladies into sports period, but especially boring ones like golf. So good show old lady. Good show.
The agent says “my God, I’ve never seen an act like that in my life! What do you call it?”
And the father says “Arnold Palmer!”
By the sacred bleeding head of Arnold Palmer, this is fucked up, right here.
And then Arnold Palmer said, “Wrecked’em? Damn near killed’em!”
Arnold Palmer? I don’t even know her!
[Golf clap]
Oh, come on, someone had to do it.
I think that is a rather convoluted rationalization, myself. I don’t see why her default response for showcasing golf knowledge would be to mention Tiger Woods. I think the likelihood of Rigamarole’s perception of the incident is higher than the possibility of your take; but either way he’s overreacted somewhat. Even if the lady said Tiger Woods in the most racist and hate-filled way possible, he’d be overreacting.
It’s hard to believe that when he hasn’t found the time to return here and defend himself in a long time; yet he has found the time to post about banana hammocks. I, in particular, would still like to know why he thinks many Dopers do not lend this incident the credence its supposedly due; but he does (did) not think a possible death was worth a few seconds of his time. I do agree with the general sentiment of your post though.
I guess he decided to leave the kitchen. 
There have been times when I posted something and someone replied, then while I was addressing what that person brought up another person replied, a third person replied while I was addressing the second, and so on. Somewhere along the line the first one returned and made disparaging remarks about the fact that I had been essentially repeating myself in my attempts to ensure that nobody had the short end of the stick.
Today, without even expecting or provoking it, a fellow server validated my feelings on this issue. It went down like this:
Female white server, mumbling to herself: “Asshole.”
Female server, to me: “If someone orders a ‘Tiger Woods’, what would you give them?”
Me: “I think they mean an Arnold Palmer.”
Her: “Yeah, well I gave him a lemonade and cranberry juice, which is what Tiger Woods actually drinks - then he said he meant the other one [that is, iced tea and lemonade]. I said, ‘Oh, that’s an Arnold Palmer’ and he said ‘Well, Arnold Palmer is retired.’ My children are black [this is true, I happen to know that this server eloped with a black man] but that’s still bullshit. You know why it’s called an Arnold Palmer?”
Me: “Because Arnold Palmer invented it?”
Her: “Exactly.”
Although I know you guys have trouble wrapping your minds around the concept that the people who call the drink this name are actually doing it because they are racist, and not because they are joking or because Tiger Woods is their favorite golfer (or because AP is retired, as this guy’s BS excuse went) or because they just don’t know the right name for the drink, I now feel fully vindicated.
Bully for you.
I don’t have any trouble “wrapping my mind” around your silly claim; I just recogize that you are investing a lot of emotional energy in choosing to get insulted (and make up silly race claims) over the fact that different people know a particular drink by different names.
I can show you actual bartender books that claim one makes a Manhattan using Rye instead of Bourbon. Clearly, they were written by desperate Canada-philes looking for attention and a way to show disrespect for the U.S. (Alternatively, the recipe and the names simply got turned around in some small corner of the world.)
I am glad that you haver been “vindicated” by the fact that another human being thought that the name “Tiger Woods” should be applied to the “wrong” drink. It is good to see you using your mind to make such brilliant distinctions. (You have not actually proven that racism, (aside from your own), has any part of this story, of course, but if you are now satisfied, that is the only important thing for us to worry about.)
Amazing where people find vindication.
(Hey the thread hadn’t yet descended into Bush bashing and someone had to do it!) 
So, is the asshole the black man that the white server eloped with, or did the white servers black children order Tiger Woods ('cause they’re the only black people in your new story), or is asshole what I ask my waiter for when I want to order a black person?
Oh, you might want to read this BS,
Fun Fact; Arnold Palmer also invented the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, no it’s true,
but blacks always give the credit for peanut butter to George Washington Carver instead of John Harvey Kellogg because non-whites hate Kellogg for no reason*****.
Of course the real inventor of peanut butter was George A. Bayle Jr., nobody ever ate peanuts before that*****!
Connections with James Burke (channeling Rigamarole, and wearing a very stylish tin foil hat)
Black people call PB&J sandwiches Sundays instead of Saturdays because Tiger Woods plays his best golf on Sundays and they hate Arnold Palmer, John Harvey Kellogg called PB&Js Arnold Palmers because he hated Tiger Woods since he married a Swedish model damaging the gene pool, the Pre-Columbian peoples of Mexico forced Arnold Palmer to retire from golf for reasons known only to Jesper Parnevik who invented a drink called the George Washington Carver, half hot tea half lemonade half Kellogg’s corn flakes and half peanut butter, which no one liked except Elin Nordegren, Tiger’s wife, who Jesper employed as a nanny, who made PB&Js for Jesper’s kids on Thursdays.
CMC fnord!
The customer in the new story of course was black. Why would I have posted it otherwise, claiming a validation of my feelings?
Where did I say it “floored” me? I never thought this event was earth-shaking, it was simply a dumbass thing someone said that I didn’t like and wanted to vent about online.
As for my panties, I only wear those on the weekends and they are perfectly smooth and pressed.