It's finally happened, Jack Chick has blown a fuse

What the FUCK is he talking about? Even with my conservative Baptist upbringing, I can’t wade through bullshit this deep.

I like it when she uses the force to knock the vampire down.

Umm, that was interesting. So vampires can be saved and the chosen one of Satan will be named Igor. Thanks for the info Chicky!

I think it’s obvious. Faith would not have been chosen if she hadn’t been a virgin (as they referred to her in their first conversation about her).
Therefore I can only conclude that Jack Chick wants to make sure we have our daughters pop their cherries as soon as possible. You know, to save them from the pasty-faced devil vampire child that will eat them on Halloween.

Note the obligatory “Haw haw haw” in panel 16.

Also, there’s something wonderfully twisted about telling a vampire “Blood has to be shed for sins to be forgiven.”

And note: God can’t lie. Jesus does orthodontia. And Satan is kind of a jerk. Man, I learn so much from these comics.

I liked this one a lot more than most. Jack really has skill with drawing Halloween monsters.

I wonder who knocked up Vampira.

Should Alfred E. Neuman ever turn vampire, he will look like this.

Yes, but even Jesus can’t take away that nasty teenage acne…

Note that it took two months to find a virgin to be Igor’s first victim. Could this be Chick’s subtle commentary on the licentiousness of our modern age?

On the other hand two glaring contradictions go unexplained - first, the “doctor” warns that Igor’s name must not be spoken before he is born, then goes right ahead and reveals it. This is also a HIPAA confidentiality violation.

Plus, what’s our virgin honey doing by celebrating Halloween, the Devil’s own holiday? She’s just encouraging the neighborhood kiddies to get involved in the Black Arts.

I also think it’s subpar, Old Testament-wise, for the righteous to brand Satan’s teachings as “a big fat lie”. I look for fire and brimstone from Jack Chick, not third-grade taunts.

And you know what!? Hitler was a dork!

That one is kind of fucked up, isn’t it? “Igor?” The spawn of Satan is going to be named after Dr. Frankenstein’s disabled sidekick?

I like the evil-looking Fang in the first panel, as well as the fact that one of the vampires appears to have been moddled on Gandalf the Grey.

A couple disappointments -

We never get to see Vampira. I was hoping to see what Chick would do with an Elvira-type.

I half-expected the entire thing turn into a Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover at the end, with Faith saying “five by five” and then staking poor Igor.

Faith is hot. I want to do her in the butt.

Also, the vampire boss is a Jew.

That is all for now.

“Room 13” sounds like a euphemism for the bathroom. Or a torture chamber at Gitmo.

Oh, and Igor looks like a dork.


So this is what happens when Jack Chick falls asleep watching the Friday night Creature Feature.

For a little bit I actually thought he was going to swallow his pride and parody himself, proselytizing for the dark lord just for kicks.

Either way I think I actually like this one, I mean not enough to convert, but cut out the last couple panels and change a name here and there and you have next year’s forgettable summer B movie.

Is that Osama bin Laden in panel 12?

Didn’t you notice? Along with the candy, she was handing out Chick Tracts!

In fact, I bet she’s supposed to be handing out this Chick Tract.

I feel a bit dizzy.

Are you telling me Jack Chick has mastered the subtle art of recursion?

Curses, I thought we had more time!

They’ll have catapults by Friday…

Says Faith in panel 35:

Quoteth Jack, “My post is my cite!”

After reading Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series*, I can’t take the name “Igor” seriously as name for a bad guy anymore.

Besides, I think it’s a real let-down to have such a telling name (or unimaginative) as “Faith” for the girl … and only “Igor” for the guy!

I’m also a bit disappointed that Jack Chick has gone soft/wishy-washy: according to traditional vampire custom, you’re supposed to either stake them through the heart or cut their heads off (and fill their mouth with salt - Cecil did a column on this once, how you first need to find out their ccountry of origin to use the correct method of disposal). One thing all these variants have in common is that they are usually deadly to humans too.

So obviously, Chick chickened out of advocating drastic measures like these, for fear of being sued if any easily impressed readers of his took his words too literally.

Also, where in the scripture is it said that the power of God works against Vampires, which weren’t known in New Testament times and that region, and therefore (unlike normal demons) not mentioned?

I haven’t heard that Vampires need to impregnate a female Vampire to get a Prince of Darkness, either, - I thought you got new vampires from biting? And wasn’t the Prince of Darkness thing supposed to be reserved for the Devil, in that apocaliptic book of Revelation?

  • The definite Vampire book - both for its satire of the various vampire disposal mehtods and for exploring the deeper issues - is his Carpe Jugulum.