The new Chick™ tract

The new Chick tract is out, The Devil’s Night, and boy does Jack have the “suck” knob turn up to eleven. Our favorite saucer eyed, hideous troll doll (as opposed to the Olsen twins who are marginally less saucer eyed and quickly falling out of favor) Li’l Suzy is back confronting wicked, secular humanist teacher, Ms. Henn. Jack trots out his usual halloween schtick with tales of pagan sacrifice rituals yada, yada, etc. etc. Ms. Henn orders the children to come to class in halloween costumes and I’m sure Jack creamed his jeans at the prospect of drawing her dressed as a witch. (She’s got a wart) Suzy is of course troubled but her grandpa, the cycloptic retired jurist from The Last Judge tells her she must obey her teacher because she “is an authority figure.” Suzy outwitts the wicked Ms. Henn by dressing in a Santa Clause coat.


Who the fuck protests a pagan holiday but dressing as fucking Santa?? John the Baptist on a fucking rubber crutch Jack, have you completely lost it? I’m not the best bible scholar but I don’t remember reading about Coca-Cola advertising icons in my King James Bible. Sheesh.

I love his “History of Halloween” rant. Very colorful. :smiley:

“Animal sacrifices at Halloween…” Obviously Jack has never heard of roadkill!

Jack just keeps getting nuttier and nuttier as time goes on.

And why not dress Susie up as a darlin’ lil’ angel?

(Apparently he never heard of All Hallows Eve-I thought Halloween was started by Christians trying to scare off demons?)

That’s what baby-eating, devil-worshipping, network-tv-watching, sex-enjoying, pagans would have you believe.

I dunno; I think Jack has some pretty good ideas. And he really cares about people.

And maybe it’s just my little chest-burster devil talking, but seeing a guy on all fours “repenting” is HOTT!

“There’s comics in here! They’ll show you how to go to heaven!”

Cool! Thanks!”

Oy vey.

Wow I thought Jack would go for the jugular and have Li’l Suzy dress up as Saint Peter or even Jesus Christ. I think Jack’s getting a little too lenient.

Still, I think he hit the proverbial nail on the head when he showed how much children hate Halloween. Let’s all think back to when we were kids. Remember how scary Halloween was to us? We’d dread the approach of October 31st. We would strenuously object to going to people’s doors and asking for free candy. But our parents would force us to participate in this heathen ritual. And the trauma of dressing in those scary costumes has had its repurcussions on my psyche up to the present day. :rolleyes:

The worst part was later that night, when I came home with my candy and my mom forced me to eat it all. I would beg to save some for later, I’d cry that I’d get a tummyache if I ate it too quickly.

But my mom threatened to sacrifice a jack o’ lantern to a dead satan puppy. Or something.

Well, the history of Halloween is a religious issue for some people, so it will never be hammered out to everyone’s satisfaction. But I think most people agree that it began with the Celtic (European (particularly British Isles) pre-Christian) celebration of the arrival of the season of Samhain, observed on or about October 31st (when the autumn crops had all been harvested and winter was setting in) with bonfires and sacrafices of animals and crops. The bonfires were supposed to scare away the evil spirits associated with the death of the land. An increasing number of people celebrate the coming of Samhain in various ways, and this drives the Christian extremists 'round the bend.

From here, things get a bit complex. It seems that some of the Christians in Ireland (but not the main Roman Catholic Church) moved the celebration of All Saints Day from April 20th to November first, turning the evening of October 31st into All Hallows Eve, a night before a day of obligation. Pope Gregory III consecrated a chapel in the Basilica of St. Peter to all of the saints and officially moved the observance of All Saints Day to November first, but did the Irish Christian co-opting of Samhain on that date have anything to do with it? It seems unlikely, given that the early November celebration was a German tradition already.

So, has Halloween been Christianized? Hard to say. It certainly isn’t a Christian holiday now, having no official explanation in the Christian religion. A small but significant minority of Christians do not celebrate it, and an even smaller one think it’s evil. Catholic Christians may celebrate All Hallows Eve in their own way (do they?), but generally speaking the religion is silent on the matter.

On the converse, it’s not a pagan holiday to most people, either. It’s simply an excuse to do weird shit and get a buttload of candy and/or drunk. Which is, if you ask me, a perfectly good reason to have a holiday.

Wikipedia’s article, which I tried to summarize.

Y’all picked up on the girl who was originally a Halloween fan being called Buffy? Clever that. And why is 'lil Susie’s grandfather a pirate?

Damn it, you commented on the Buffy thing before I could. 'Lil Susie’s grandfather is a pirate because pirates are bad ass, and the grandfather will make Satan walk the plank.


Wait a second…why’s Dracula in that tract, and in a bad light? Didn’t Vlad Tepes spend his life defending Christendom from the Turks?

Anyway, while I’m thinking of it…has anyone ever seen someone dress up as Jesus for Halloween? I mean, considering the gruesome execution and the rising from the grave, he should be ripe fodder for a costume! :smiley:
(“Sweet zombie Jesus!”)

The bartender at the Art Bar last Halloween made a lovely Jesus.

I don’t think Jack Chick would have approved.

Wow, I didn’t even get that Susie’s grandfather was dressed as a pirate for Halloween. I just assumed he had knocked out an eye in some kind of bizarre genuflection-related accident.

Naw, he was wearing the eyepatch long before he found God, as evidenced in the second link in the OP.

I like the idea of Susie’s Grandpa as a pirate, although “Does that bowtie mean you’re a pirate?” just doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

I’m a little surprised Ol’ Chick left in the part about Lot offering his virgin daughters to the mob. “Here, don’t rape these men, rape these young girls instead!” I know it’s in the Good Book and all, but it’s perhaps a bit… cowardly? Less than good, perhaps? Dare I say, pretty fucking horrible?

I actually like the panel with the angels falling from heaven. Nice composition.

Pity everything else about the tract is an artistic and philosophical disaster.


Nah… he was a Butt Pirate. That’s just how they are after tragic dildo accidents.

It’s all funny til someone gets blinded with KY.

Yep. We had that one year at my Halloween party. The same year we had a guy dressed up as Hitler. Along with a white guy done up in dark base, platform shoes, and lots-o-gold to make himself a stereo-typical 70’s black pimp (his girlfriend came as the 'ho).

We got some good pictures that year.