It doesn’t matter how long it is until it happens again. The only thing is, you KNOW damn right well it will happen again sometime. It may be 10 years from now, it may be tomorrow, but it will happen again. To you. Or with you. Or regarding you. Not simple things either, like knowing you’ll wake up or shower sometime again. Rather things that you don’t normally do or that don’t normally happen to you on a regular or daily basis but that you just know will be happening again in some form or another. For some reason or another.
And why? Because it always happens again eventually. Always. :smack:
-My mom and I will have another arguement.
-I’ll have to yell at my cat for misbehaving.
-I’ll lose my housekey somewhere (but eventually find it again and smack my head in the process at what a simple place it was.
-I’ll be without a phone card right when I need it the most.
-I’ll get a call from a telemarketer in the morning before I awake, thus doing it for me.
-I’ll forget to set the VCR timer to record a favorite show of mine
~I will have to move.
~I will have to help someone move.
~I will get a speeding ticket.
~A muddy dog will jump on me just as I’m heading out the door for an interview in a light-colored skirt.
~Gravity will win.
I suffer from Congenital Clumsiness. I know that today, I will:
–Stub my toe at least three times, always managing to hit the sore toe on subsequent stubbings.
– Knock my knee or shin into a piece of stationary furniture
– Drop something. If it doesn’t break, it will splatter, but will only splatter if I’m on carpeted floor.
– I will stumble at least half a dozen times, but will only fall if there’s a puddle nearby.
– I will lose at least four objects, listed in order of likeliness/ frequency: the phone, my keys, my shoes, my purse.
– I will shut my finger in at least one door. Hopefully it will be the cabinets again. That wasn’t as bad as the car door. If I’m really lucky, it will be the fridge. That’s my favorite.
I’ll put the coffee cup in the cupholder, start driving and end up with coffee spilling into the console.
Someone will call me by mistake, thinking that I am the one to solve their problem, and when I try to steer them to the right person I will be called uncooperative.
I’ll get to the gym tonight and every station I want to head to next will be occupied by two people not using it, but having a conversation next to it.
I won’t have change for the snack machine just as the Almond Snickers comes into play and someone will beat me to it.
-I will again get one of those dreaded stomach aches in the middle of the night…hasn’t happened for quite a while, but I know it’s coming at some point. Last time, it sent me to the hospital, I made a joke at the doctor that he didn’t get, and he thought I was hallucinating.
-I will lose some weight, maybe a good bit of it, and gain it all back plus some. AGAIN.
-I will hit my shin on the corner of the bed platform.
-I will stick my foot in my mouth and say something stupid to a boss.
-The net force on an object will be proportional to the product of the mass of the object and the second time derivative of its position.
-The increase in the internal energy of a system will be equal to the amount of energy added to the system by heating, minus the amount lost in the form of work done by the system on its surroundings.
-The divergence of the electric field across a surface will be proportional to the total electric charge enclosed within that surface.
I will get a glass splinter in a finger. I will worry that splinter until I have a gigantic crater in my finger. It will bleed and hurt, even possibly get infected.
I will cut my own hair. I will lament that I was stupid to cut my own hair. I will vow to never cut my own hair again.
I will vacuum without checking the bag first. When I do check the bag, it will have exploded. I will then spend the next hour cleaning the inside of the vacuum cleaner.
I will write a lengthy grocery list. I will leave said list on my desk. I will forget the most important thing on that list and have to return the store for that one item.
I’m still thinking of my list, but this is most certainly one of mine.
Lamentably, this has recently come to pass.
Lamentably, you will see the results of this tonight. I went from very long to… well, now it’s medium, but it’s layered. I layered my own hair. By flipping it all upside down, then chopping across, then snipping off the frightening “lady mullet” bit that hung down my back. It makes me look older.
I will research, formulate, compose, substantiate with links, edit, re-edit, preview and enter a devastating rebuttal that, finally and forever, proves, beyond a shadow of any doubt whatsoever, that my position in the debate in which I’m engaged is the only logical position and that my opponent’s position is absolutely refuted in its entirety…and then notice that I screwed up the math.
picunurse - I nunno, your hair looked perfectly respectable to me. Everytime I ran my hand through my hair (I’m used to it being much longer), I’d catch a glimpse of my shadow, complete with a nice Alfalfa style growth sprouting from the top. Argh.
My list of inevitabilities:
The hair thing.
I will swear off Everquest II. For a week. Then I will forget why.
I will throw my scales out the window, cursing at it, then reluctantly amble out to pick it up, brush it off, and put it back on the bathroom floor. And apologise to the neighbours for the noise.
I will buy another Slurpee.
I will forget why the hell I left the house, wander into the wrong store, buy a jar of pickles, get home and remember we needed milk and bread. May or may not venture back out.
I will go unmedicated.
I will be socially awkward.
I will wander around the beach, contemplating weather that strange, black pile is ambergris (WOOHOO!) or a steaming pile of dog shit. It’s never ambergris.
