Lurkie can bring his landscaper and she and I will have Swampy’s new pool landscaped in no time!
Of course by fall my backyard will most likely be overrun with pumpkin vines, as I’ve planted a good number of them. By the time the morning glories get going, it’ll be a jungle out there. So you may think about that offer to give me free reign, AP. But remember, I was the early advocate for the Giant Inflate Tree. I don’t think you could go wrong with that, now that we’ve introduced moai into the mix.
I’m excited about you and FCM!! Have a vegetable for me.
Oh yeah, The Giant Inflate Tree [sup]TM[/sup]. That, a moai, some light up flamingoes and a glow in the dark statue of The BVM. We got haute yard decor going on or what!
Gazelle that ain’t exactly a polo. It is a pullover shirt, but it has long sleeves cause it was made to wear in cool weather. Besides I don’t have it anymore. It got gone last fall when I cleaned out my closet. I was going to give it to Goodwill, but a friend of mine came over and started going through the give aways (going through the mission barrel he likes to call it) and took that shirt along with many others. He thinks I get rid of almost brand new stuff. Then again, I think he buys most of his shirts at Goodwill so he probably would’ve gotten the shirt anyway. I’m a shirtaholic. Can’t have too many shirts.
One of my friends found a big plastic pharoah head (it was at least 4 or 5 feet tall) in a dumpster once. It was great. He put lights in it and set it in his front yard, along with an enormous man-made spider web made out of long johns (or something else equally insane). His neighbors LOVED him.
OK, who was impersonating me at ChiDope2002? Or were you referring to Miss FairyChatMoose, because I’ve never been to Chicago, except passing thru O’Hare. Unless I was abducted by aliens, taken to Chicago, then had my memory erased… hmmmm…
swampbear, darlin, do remember that we’re going to a fish camp for dinner. Shorts and t-shirt will work, as will jeans and t-shirt. I’ll probably do jeans or equivalent, since I’m not shaving my legs for you. Nothing personal, I’m looking forward to meeting you and all, but I’ll only shave my legs for Big Events[sup]TM[/sup] - like if Rue was taking me to dinner… Seriously, it’s very casual. And it’s been very hot here. Dress for comfort, and don’t make me look worse than I usually do when I go out in public!
Oh, yeah, and good luck with the move, Rue! I’ll celebrate your double closing day by going to my Perfect Child[sup]TM[/sup]'s chorus award banquet. Just because I care! I’m wondering, if I should accidentally find a flamingo from the Jacksonville Zoo sneaked into my car, could I mail it safely to Cincinnati? Just wondering…
Well, Rue, at least you picked a good time of year to buy a house. I bought mine in December, planning to move in on a January weekend. That would be the weekend of The Really Big Snow™ so I was delayed a couple of weeks. Pfui.
I’ve currently got space issues as well. I’ve been redoing my bedroom as I’ve hated the wallpaper in there for the last seven years. (I’m a little slow, see.) It’s now a lovely shade called Boysenberry Frost. I’ve never seen a frosted boysenberry. You’d think it would be a sort of red, depending on how angry it was. But it’s really a dark purple. Anyway, I had to cram all my bedroom furniture into the guest room and now there’s no room for guests. Or me. I’m sleeping on a mattress in the middle of the living room. Or thereabouts. I haven’t got any sort of GPS thingy you know.
Even with all the moving of personal possessions , I haven’t found anything really interesting. No monkey paws or anything cool like that.
I do have some cats paws.
But they’re currently attached to the cats. So there you go.
Rue I missed your post so badly yesterday I had to contribute to an Enema thread.
Not that that was a difficult thing for me to do, since …well…I’ll leave it to your imagination. Or simply say I deal with old people who don’t walk, eat fiber or drink water.
But well… still… not having a Rue’s Monday post was sort of a let down.
Good luck on your move. We are moving…??? (sometime preferably before December) … to ??? (some location) and Im more than willing to start the process of packing(my end of the deal… as well as unpacking, and paying for mover men dudes to do the work but Godot Mojo doesnt seem to be providing boxes. (His end of the deal)
Seinfeld is right. When you are moving your life begins to revolve around box aquistion.
Oh no! Rue is one of those superfluous “per” likers. I am a superfluous “per” hater. Are we supposed to be mortal enemies now? 'Cause I really don’t think I could handle having a mortal enemy, especially one as nice as Rue. I just don’t have the time, the energy, or the insane desire for revenge.
A spider-web made of long johns slortar? Hmmm… No, I think I’ll stick with the moai and flamingoes. At least for now. (I could be the Lawn Art King of the Neighborhood! That would be cool.)
Ellen Cherry, does your little glowy Virgin Mary have a little bathtub on end she stays in to protect her from stove-splatter? A little Virgin needs a little bathtub. (And I think “The Bathtub Virgins” would make a spiffy band name.)
Make sure there are plenty of airholes Snickers. I speak from sad experience. (That I won;t go into here, since it’s still so painful.)
“Frosted Boysenberries” could be a new breakfast cereal dwyr. You should call Post and Kellogs and see what they say. If you’re lucky, you could get:
A) your picture on the box
and
2. a guided tour of the Battle Creek MI plant.
And boysenberry is my favorite kind of yogurt and pancake syrup. Never had one frosted though.
You’ll be making friends with every stock clerk at every grocery store in your area before you know it juji. Some of 'em are really swell. Most of 'em just want you to buy them beer. But anything for boxes, that’s what I say.
Don’t worry beegirl, we can just go about our merry ways and not sweat the whole “per” issue. It would only matter if we were to meet. And then we’d have to touch. THAT would cause an immense explosion as we cancel each other out also taking out about 12 city blocks in total annihilation as our “per” and “anti-per” tendancies cancel each other out. Or you could get a big zap, like static. Then I could seduce you to the Dark Side.
It’s something to think about.
-Rue. (positively charged bay-bee!)
Shorts and t-shirt? Dang! Guess now I’ll have to return the tux I rented. Shorts and t it is then. It’ll be khaki (just to keep Gazelle happy) shorts and a red t. And boat shoes. Since I already packed and all being as I’m leaving from work this afternoon to start my merry jaunt across north Florida. First Live Oak, then Jacksonville. Envy my jet setting lifestyle y’all!
Rue the Nosferatu yard art would be jake. A moai, surrounded by pink light up flamingoes, with Nosferatu looking on. Then we could have the lit up BVM, complete with bathtub on end, surrounded by adoring lit up yard gnomes.
Ya know, between Rue and me I could end up with the jakiest, spiffiest looking pool evah!
Oh, I’m planning to be perched in my floating pool chair, beer in hand by July 4th.
I think we’re all sidestepping the real issue here. If they’re oppositely charged, would beegirl be (ha!) the anti-Rue or is Rue the anti-beegirl?
As for the glowing Pharoah head, long john spiderweb…do not denigrate them…they were the bee’s knees…and there’s something to be said about those wooden cutouts of people bending over. Every true yard-artist must have one or more of those.
Right. I’ve gotten here late, and now I’m sad because I don’t have a lawn so I can’t decorate it!
I read an utterly depressing novel yesterday, balanced out with Winne Ille Pu- Winne-the-Pooh in Latin. I’ve retained just enough Latin to be able to stumble through it, as long as I know what’s basically going on. “Succurrite, succurrite, horribilus heffalumpus!” is easy to translate. So is anything Eeeyore (or Ior, as the author spells it) says.
It’s a great book. Here you go! (generously) Ecce Eduardus Ursus scalis nunc tump-tump-tump occipite gradus pulsante post Christophorum Robinum descendens. Est quod sciat unus et solus modus gradibus descendi, nonnunquam autem sentit, etiam alterum modum exstare, dummodo pulsationibus desinere et de eo modo meditari possit. Deinde censet alios modos non esse. En, nunc ipse in imo est, vobis ostentari paratus. Winnie ille Pu.
My off-the-cuff translation. “Here comes (actually, “Behold!”)Edward Bear thump-thump-thump on the back of his head down the stairs behind Christopher Robin. It is the only method of getting downstairs that he knows, although he suspects that there might be another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think. And then he thinks maybe there isn’t. Anyway, (something) here he is. Winne the Pooh.”
There’s nothing that quite captures the heart of the country’s artistic sensibilities as the bathtub Virgin Mary. At least that’s what Utah State University folklorist Jeannie Thomas says in her soon-to-be-published book, “Cemetery Angels, Garden Gnomes and Barbies.”
The cement Virgin Marys serenely resting in upended bathtubs can be found propped up in yards most everywhere. “There’s a dominant cultural attitude that these (who display them) are the people who see Elvis at the 7-Eleven,” Thomas said.
But she believes there’s a strong connection between lawn decorations and fine art traditions, in particular borrowing from themes found in Renaissance gardens and 19th century images.
“I think people who don’t get it are understandable. But it fills a real human need to be creative and to creatively express yourself,” she said.
Really, bathtub Maries are overrated. Now bathrub Elvises…Elvi…Elveese…whatever. That’s where it’s at. Much like the greatly revered Mojo Nixon has said, Elvis is, indeed, everwhere. Even in bathtubs. And colons. And dollar store bags of little wobbly rubber bugs.
I declare on my honor that if there is such a thing as an anti-Rue (heaven help us), that it probably is Beegirl. You need a fancy hat or something for your new position. Maybe something with antenna or a propellor or something.
I’d like a hat with a couple antennae made of springs with sparkly colored Styrofoam balls at the ends, if you have any of those. And don’t worry, I won’t take the anti-Rue thing too far. No weekly Friday night posts or non-hijackable threads or anything of the sort. Just cringing every time his icky superfluous “per” comes up.
On preview: Winnie Ille Pu sounds great, Lissa. Too bad it’s in a dead language, though. Those dead languages really kill the happy Pooh mood, with their corpses of letters and sentence skeletons and such.
