It's Like Seeing For The First Time

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Which is a stupid expression. “Seeing for the first time”, that means what? You’re a baby? Babies don’t see very well to start with. They have to find the breast by smell. (I read that in a baby book. A book about babies, not just a very young book that might grow up to be an Encyclopedia.)

Or it could refer to the first time you open your eyes in the morning. It’s still stupid. I have eye gunk in the morning and then I have to find my glasses. I really don’t get a good look around til after my shower.

So all in all, it’s a pretty stupid expression. I’d change the title of this thread, but I’m already this far, so I’ll just leave it. Don’t want to waste all this time I’ve already put in.

This is about something. My threads usually are. Eventually. I was thinking of changing my posting style to a shorter, more economical statement. But, naw, that ain’t gonna happen.

I got a new phone line yesterday. Hooked up to the house and everything. Not just a coil of wire. A whole new drop. (Which is what we in the know call the phone wire that goes from the telephone pole to the house. Unless the Phone Guy called it a “drip”. No, it was “drop”.)

No more of that annoying static on the line. No siree Bob. Clear as can be. See how much sharper this post is? Ain’t technology grand?

We also got a new phone box. The old one and it’s drop were, like, 20 years old. Pretty used up. Maybe it was stale, I’m not sure. The Phone Guy said we needed new stuff, and since we have the Telephone Insurance and didn’t have to pay for it, I said “sure, whatever.” Just like that. All nonchalant. I had no chalants about it at all.

Soupo was all excited. He got to watch. He loves it when Guys come to our house to fix stuff. Especially if they have power tools. He was a little disappointed in the Refrigerator Guys, they just had regular screwdrivers and stuff. But the Phone Guy had huge ladders and got on our roof. And he had a drill/screwdriver thing that made noise.

Soupo would just stand at the window and watch him work. He’d change windows when the guy would work on different parts of the job. Then he got hungry and had an apple. Then he got bored and went to watch cartoons. But it was still cool.

Katcha didn’t care. He just chased the dogs as they barked.

It was a big day.

-Rue.

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E% So,\ isg t e clarity as g^oodp forr inccoming data or juzrt oudgoig? Adyway, cogpataulations on yo ur # new crydtal cleapr telephodne l ne. ^@

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!& Danmit, I fo got tqo preview that l st post. K meant ot say “g^oojd”, not “g^oodp”. Sorr.

Lrpview is your frind. )$B

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TLD, thanks for my first big laugh of the day!!!

And Rue, your new phone line makes your sharp wit that much keener. The brilliance of your observations shines thru! I am dazzled!!
[sub]Is that enough sucking up for one day?!?

:smiley:

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So Rue, you dig being a stay at home Dad? I for one am glad you are as it makes for a lot of great posts. I’m just
a part time stay at home dad, and my posts aren’t nearly as funny, but then ya can’t have every thing but I like spending quality tme with china bambina. anyhoo…

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Geez Rue, I hope you turned in early after a day like that! How do you keep up the pace?

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Hi Rue. Good morning. I don’t have anything to add except that I am going to try and post in every single one of your threads from now on. Here’s a little song I sing about you in my head whenever I read your posts, sung to the tune of the Honeycomb Cereal theme song:

Rue, Rue, Rue,
He’s the best,
He makes me smile
When I wake up,
Rue has got
Some MPSIMS
Makes me laugh
Alda time!
Rue Dabaga, yeah yeah yeah!

I didn’t say it was a great song.

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Sophie likes me! I think I’ll make you my newest Special Friend.
Ladies and Gentlemen… I would like to present to you my newest Special Friend… Sophie!!!
(And the crowd goes wild)

All that for a song. What a deal.

I just think of that little episode as my Phone Guy Interlude. Ya wanna play the home game?

De Day of Rue
or
It’s Really Not That Hard

When The Little Woman gets up for the day, so do I. It’s way too early, but this way I get a shower. It all balances out.

Now we play Wakeful Child Roulette.

You want the kiddies to stay asleep long enough they won’t be all cranky-pants by naptime. But you don’t want them to sleep too long or they won’t nap. Then they’ll be all cranky-pants all afternoon and evening.

If they get up too early, you have to convince them it’s still night time. (Easier now that it’s staying dark longer. Pesky Standard Time is a small fly in the ointment.)

If it looks like they’re going to over-sleep, you have to go poke them awake. (Warning: The DeDay Sleep Gene causes unpredictable wake-up behavior. Use a broom for all morning poking.)

Now it’s time for Fun With Breakfast Foods.

What can you get into the little guys that:
A) They’ll eat.
and
B) Approaches nutrition.

Chocolate cake with a glass of milk?
A hot pretzel and a cup of yogurt?
The ever-popular cold cereal?
Frozen waffles? (With or with out peanut butter?)
Oatmeal?

Remember: The likelyhood of them eating whatever you pick is inversely proportional to how much they liked it yesterday.
Let the Games Begin!

Now is nothing but fun, fun, fun. Games like:
Don’t Pester Your Brother.
What Is That Smell?
Don’t Pester The Dogs.
Where Are Your Pants?
Put That Down.
What’s Up Your Nose?
Put That Back.

And more fun games like:
Daddy and the Three Foot Dinosaur.
Fling To The Couch.
Where’s Your Tummy?

(Bonus Question: What happens when an immovable object meets an irresistable force?
A: There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then Daddy takes the toy away and sometimes there’s a Time Out.)

This’ll carry you til lunchtime. Lunchtime is like breakfast, only with lunch food. (Secret Weapon: Fish Sticks)

Now that Soupo is in Pre-Kindergarten, the next little while is a set piece.

Make lunch.
Start to eat.
Remind them to eat.
Remind them to eat.
Remind them to eat.
Brush teeth and wash faces.
Drive to school.
Drop off Soupo. (This is important.)
Drive home.
Put Katcha down for a nap. (This is very important.)
Feed the dogs. (You didn’t forget about the dogs, did you?)

Now you have free time. You can wash the dishes, do laundry, iron, empty the dishwasher… the oportunities for fun are endless.

Time to pick Soupo up from school…

Wake up Katcha.
Re-dress Katcha. (He has Clothes-Repell™ in his sleep.)
Pick up Soupo.
Return home. (Assuming there are no errands you’ve let slide.)

Afternoon Playtime!

Like Morning Playtime, but Soupo is wound up from school. And a little tired. Did I mention a tired kid is a cranky-pants kid?

Time to incorporate todays Lesson in Carefull Listening.

Which of these wails mean:
I’m having a great time!
I’m mad!
I’m hurt!
The dog stole my cookie!
I want another cookie!
There’s a squirell in the yard!

  1. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
  2. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
  3. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
  4. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
  5. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
  6. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
    Time to Start Dinner!

Screw it. We’ll slap something together when The Little Woman gets home.

Remember: With a little practice you can have oodles of Quality Personal Time each day! As long as whatever you do can be dropped every 30 seconds and you don’t have to get back to it for an hour or so. (I suggest MPSIMS.)

Wow, I should box this up and sell it to Parker Brothers.

China Guy, being a Stay At Home Dad is a cool gig. I really enjoy the heck out of it. (Really.)

Hi Snickers, glad you could join us.

(Since TheLoadedDog is funnier than me, I’m ignoring his posts all together.)

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Rue, you’re my hero!

:smiley:

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Wiping tears from my brown eyes, I am. Rue, you’re one in a million.

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Hey Rue! We have the sprinkler guys coming today to blow out the pipes. Apparently this is going to be a lot of fun, involves water geysering into the air, and should keep the boy fascinated for hours. There is just some Y chromosome thing that fascinates little boys with that kind of stuff. Never interested the girl, but the boy is right there, quietly supervising all work. If backhoes or cranes are involved it can become a chore to tear him away.

That’s it for now, nothing profound.

Oh, and be careful, there’s been some nude folks runnin’ about. You never know when they might come through.

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The first time I dropped my baby off at day care, I felt like the worst mom in the world. I wondered what I was missing in my child’s developmental life. After reading your description, I realized that by substituting “Electrical Engineer” for “dog” and “software” for “cookie”, I have, in fact, experienced the same things, only with allegedly grown-up professionals in place of Soupo and Katcha. I no longer feel as if motherhood passed me by. And even better, I didn’t have to deal with poopy diapers as often.

Thank you, Rue!

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Ellen (The Brown Eyed Girl), sorry, I’m only one in about 19,000. But a guy can dream! I’m dreaming right now! Oh, wait, that’s more a fantasy. Eh, I’ll take it.

Ladies and Gentlemen: The perfect post!

And vomitting, don’t forget the vomitting. Nothing makes a day quite as special as vomitting.

Hi T’Other. (Didn’t want you left out.)
-Rue.