Two of these were inspired by threads on the SDMS. The other wasn’t. You guess which two were, and find the threads. I will drink a beer in honor of the first person to find them.
Asbestos Mango
The Cult of True Victimhood
and the bonus band name…
Susan DiLucci and the Miracle of Life
I’ll drink a shot of tequila in honor of the first person to post the inspiration for that one.
You may now post your own band name submissions.
the ability to edit one’s own posts would come in handy about now.
A co-worker was telling me about a Brazilian steakhouse he visited recently. He was shocked to discover that they had salmon on their salad bar, presumably because it’s not a cow by-product and they had no better place to put it.
In his words:
"Salmon ain’t salad!"
Which I now submit as the best. Band name. EVAR.
I’ve always been partial to Blood Fart, but nobody ever agrees with me. You can’t buy shock value like that! Nobody would ever forget the first time they heard of that band.
Back in high school, my friends and I would always talk about starting bands, which would invariably lead to discussion about how great we were gonna be, and in fact spawned so much discussion that we were too busy discussing the music to create it. So that was that.
But we did have some really groovy names:
Grmgf Frghtmul and the Clearly Articulated Words
Bag of Hamlet
Codpiece
and my favorite,
Vic Ripcord and the Screaming Venereals 
Relative Frequency Histogram
They’d just go by “RFH” of course
(math class is so boring…)