Thanks for the explanation, everyone!
No offense taken. I have a lot to learn so I hope you will all be patient with me! (Not that you wouldn’t be, but I FULLY understand the aggravation caused by those who don’t know what the hell is going on – I’m a support tech after all…)
Thanks for the tips!
Damn you. I was going to say that.
Well, not the “Opal” part, and not the actual brand of sousaphone, and not, you know, crush his skull with it…
But I was going to call 'im out on the whole “dissing the sousaphone” thing.
And I can’t believe he used “corkboard” publicly. I’m offended.
Fuck you all, ya pansies.
Esprix
Hmmm. I think I want pictures of this! It could get interesting!
While we’re airing our pet peeves, can we please quit with the graphic descriptions of how mildly amusing posts cause all sorts of liquid refreshment to spray out of multitudinous facial orifices onto a variety of computer equipment, thus rendering said equipment nonfunctional? It’s getting old.
It reminds me of what James Lileks calls the “Violently Ordinary Rejoinder,” in which an aggresively nonfunny punchline causes its hearer to flip head over heels in stunned amazement.
I’ll add expressing love for a poster who has recently said something that you agree with/was going to say/thought, but didn’t say and OOOH! isn’t it cool that they were thinking the same thing?!? Worse than a “Me too!” post, IMO.
Lemme see if I can find an example of this… Ah yes. Right in this very thread.
Also, pointing out simulposts is kind of ridiculous.
1)swearing is fun
2)I like cheese
3)hi opal
Sorry, the child in me couldn’t resist 
Well, if jarbaby doesn’t mind my expanding this list of crap that irks us… I fucking CRINGE when a perfectly good thread degenerates to two or three people having a semi-intimate, flirt-filled conversation with each other. Take it to email and let the board be relieved from the eight or ten unnecessary posts, damnit. I don’t mind a little flirting here and there; fer chrissakes there are other forums for one-on-one conversations though.
You know what I’m talking about:
OP: Should I use overdrive on snow?
Doper 1: Well, according to Click and Clack the car guys… (blah blah blah)
Doper 2: I’d like to go in overdrive on YOU, Doper 1!
Doper 1: You mean you’d make me go click and clack, leer, leer?
Doper 2: More than that, Doper 1! When I get through with you your motor will be humming!
Doper 1: I hope you won’t be using motor oil in that massage you’ll be giving me, yuk yuk yuk!
Doper 2: Oh no, I’m interested in the viscosity of certain other fluid, nudge nudge, humanna humanna humanna…
::thud:: (sound of Cranky hitting her forehead in consternation so hard she knocks herself out)
I hate it when people gratuitously end a sentence with the word fuck.
I feel as if I’m heading off into the children’s corner. Oh well.
Is that fuckin’ so? In-fuckin’-credible! Anyone who says fuck more than 3 times in one post is seriously fucked up! err…
aNd so i was like talking to tiffany on the phone and i like found, this bored. they had this posty thing that was ta**lking aobut al the thins ppl hate on mbs! I LIKE CANNOT BELIEVE IT! they aer so unkewl. they have no clue hjow to talk like they are riting leters or somshit. AnD nOw ThEy ThInK i[b/] Am SoMe TeEnYbOpPeR! ugh, the nerve Fizzuck*
People who point out spelling errors deserve to have their fucknuts stripped.
Doesn’t happen much on this board, but it seems epidemic on others.
This is one that I have, unfortunately, done myself. 
Poster one: I hate fuckng chickens…
Poster two: Would you hate them less if they weren’t engaged in intercourse?
fucking as an adjective != fucking as a verb
Fuckers 
Jeeze, Alphagene, Don’t get your panties in a bunch, dude. Who the fuck peed in your fucking Cheerios?
I’m going to add another one. Let’s not apologize for double/triple posting, m’kay? You quite obviously did not mean to do that, you don’t have to point out that you did (as if we didn’t notice) and then apologize for it. So just stop. You’ve already made one, perhaps two (and probably more), completely pointless posts, there’s no need to add to that number.
Cranky, you’re just jealous because you’re not getting any. I hope you HATE it that the people who flirt are popular! I bet you’re eating your stupid oh-so-superior heart out over how much more popular the girls who flirt in every goddamned thread possible are than you.
And I bet you’re stalking them and deliberately going out of your way to ruin their threads, too. And you’re doing it all out of malice, because the love lives of people you’ve never met (and probably never will) are actially important enough to you that you spend hours offline trying to think of ways to sabotage their INNOCENT GAMES!
How could you? You’re just jealous. I hope your boobs rot off.
[sub]note: this message has not been given standard tests for content as far as sarcasm and smarm. no crankys were actually harmed in the writing of this post. at least, not intentionally. if, as a poster, you think this means you…you probably need to check your ego.[/sub]
Lessee…Oh yeah! I forgot!!
–d&r–
cackle
Wow, that’s… graphic.
What I really hate are comments like, “LOL, that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time! Now I have to clean the juice off my monitor! Bastard!” That’s annoying. Do you really think we give a fuck if you found a post funny? Laugh and move on for Christ sakes. No need to let everyone know what makes you laugh. Dipshits.
OMG, That’s a riot, OneChance! You owe me for the new keyboard I have to buy because I just spit my beer all over this one and shorted it out!
I - am - not - amused. 
Okay, maybe a little.
I also hate the cutesy little banter that sometimes goes on here, like the comment I just made above.