The Chicago Sun-Times has run an alarming story:
Madame, please describe the feces that attacked you. Be as specific as possible.
:eek:
Oh, not to worry. If aircraft are bombing your home with shit, it will be dipped in a Windex-like substance and chilled. What a treat! Have aircraft been dumping crap on us this whole time? What do they mean, “contents of airline bathrooms sometimes fall from aircraft”? Could birds have created the shitstorm The Sun-Times describes with such zest??
Perhaps I just have never been as, er, fortunate in my bird-crap incidents, but from my experience you know when it was a bird. It is clearly bird crap. I do not have to be heap big woods tracker to know the difference between bird-doo and something-else-doo. Unless giant freaking eagles crap different or something, but I doubt it.
Ew. Just ew.
Goose poop is pretty large and vaguely resembles dog poop, except for the greenish tint.
And yes, occasionally the “blue ice from airplanes” phenomenon will occur, or so I’ve always read.
Oh, forgot about goose poop. Correct.
And I too have heard about the airplane “ice” phenomenon. But it can’t all be, um, blue. Can it?
Also, I do recognize it would be ice when it fell, but one assumes it melts.
On a similar note, the last time I was in Europe on a train there was a sudden announcement (right as I was getting up to pee, too) along the lines of “Please do not visit the restrooms for the next ten minutes”. We all went “Huh?” until we realized we were about to go over a great big bridge with a little town in the river valley below. 
You almost certainly should be pitting the geese.
A similar incident in our local news some months ago was positively identified as being avian excrement (ducks, in this particular case).
Yeah, pit the birds, they’re always a safe bet.
Anyone else think of the In Living Color feature “Men On Film” with the theme song that went “It’s ah raiiiining men, hallejulah, it’s ah raining men”? Ok, maybe not. Damn I miss that show.
Man, and I thought my town was a shithole.
Okay, somebody had to say it.
Maybe it was Mister Hankey dropping by for 12th Night?
I think the thread title was a deliberate play on that song, neuroman. The song, incidentally, is quite a bit older than “Men on Film”. It was a 70s disco hit by The Weathergirls.
“It’s Raining Men” is also Homer’s favorite song in the jukebox at Moe’s.
This has to be the funniest thing I’ve read all day long.
I’m almost tempted to ask you if I can have it for a sig.
Thanks, now I have a mental image of carpet-boming waterfowl.
Absolutely correct. It can be quite dangerous. The fecal matter and the blue lavatory liquid freeze into massive chunks weighing upwards of twenty pounds and hit the ground at several hundred miles an hour. They can kill. It used to be a very serious problem, especially with the rapid growth of jumbo jets flying transcontinental routes. That’s why there are a number of international treaties designed to limit icy BMs.
throws his glass into the fireplace and dies a fiery, painful, slow death
I’m going with the bird theory…
I live within a few miles of Oswego, IL…and this week, I experienced something very similar.
I left my car parked in driveway for a couple of days, and it ended up with an awful lot of 2-inch diameter, chunky brown globs and smears all over it. So I did a little investigation/observation.
It ain’t geese. There’s a fair amount of open space and fields around, and there’s a lot of geese, not to mention the heron rookery a few miles away. Which means, basically, that I’ve seen a lot of goose poop.
It’s starlings. A lot of fuckin’ starlings.
There’s thousands of the little bastards around here. There’s always been a lot of 'em, but this year there’s…well…a shitload. There’s a crab apple tree in my front yard right next to the driveway, and they’ve descended on it like piranha. Unfortunately, crab apples apparently go through starlings like (sorry) goose shit through a tin horn. They don’t seem to make it more than ten feet from the tree before they need to “download a brown load”. Right on my car.
Yeah, didn’t Salt Poo hope to limit those icy BMs?
Okay, who didn’t expect lieu to show up in a poop thread? 
Let me just duck (ahem) into this thread to say, that was brilliant. Simply brilliant.
TheInterruptingCow
which is now a crap apple tree?
My baby sister (the blond, brillant, well-adjusted one) used to rent a house high up on a hill on the Cumberland Plateau of Tennessee.
She had regular visitors.
Buzzards! http://www.abirdshome.com/Audubon/VolI/00004.html
They chased Sis’s Rotweiller, tore the railings of her deck to pieces just by perching on it, & left horrifying poop everywhere!