So something is shitting like a mad thing at my place at the moment. Started last week when I had my sheets and doona covers hanging on the line to dry…and found two huge nasty brown stains on the 1000 count WHITE Egyptian cotton sheet.
Normally bird shit is quite discreet…most times, if a bird has crapped on my clothes on the line, I only notice when I’m folding to put it away, or even when I go to wear said piece of clothing next time. And mostly, a quick flick to remove the solid bit, and a damp sponge will deal with the rest.
But there’s something flying around here at the moment that takes it’s shitting very seriously, and has made it into an avian artform. As I said, it was my sheets last week, a few days ago it was the shade sail…and today, it’s two separate vertical walls of the house. :eek:
Now these walls are protected by eaves. This wasn’t just some budgie sitting on the roof and letting fly…this evil, exploding cloaca shot out copious volumes of nasty brown crap on the wing…right at my walls.
So there’s some bird who desperately needs to see a gastroenterologist 'round here. Oh, and needs to learn a few fucking manners as well. This is some nasty shit happening.
Winter here…no berries around except for some cotoneasters. And the only birds that eat those are some corellas who invade the trees for a few hours, strip them clean, then piss off somewhere else.
This shit didn’t come from a corella. I’d swear there were flying emus or vultures around…
Possibly, but still the concern remains now that they are managing to leave their crap on walls that are protected by eaves! In fact one ‘deposit’ is not only on a vertical wall, but behind some stair rails as well. Whatever shat there needed to sit on the stair rail, and stick it’s arse a good 12" out to make sure the crap landed and dribbled right down my wall.
And there’s no reason for Flying Foxes or Fruit Bats to be in my backyard at the moment. As I mentioned, it’s winter here, and naff all is happening horticulturally.
Oh, except my daphne has flowered! YAY for daphnes!!
LOL. I’m picturing the meme now.
A pic of a Hills Hoist and a dude squatting on it, dropping trou with “Have you ever been THAT pissed that you…”
Hope you find your mystery-shitter
Have you seen any White Ibis around lately? They’ve moved into my suburb and now there’s a giant skidmark on one of my walls, under the eaves.
If the damn birds are voiding in flight the stuff is not going drop straight down – there’s going to be some sideways movement as well. The result? Shitffiti. :mad:
The thread heading has me thinking irresistibly, of Harry Turtledove’s alternative-history “Worldwar” series – World War II interrupted in 1942, by an invasion of Earth on the part of aliens from a distant planet, who are physically lizard-like. The novel series has for me, the charm of being about an invasion by aliens who are technologically superior to us (though not hugely much so), and – as alien invaders wanting to subjugate and enslave Earth and humanity, go – relatively sweet and kind and ethical; and not all that very alien, whereby humans and Lizards are – with some difficulty – able to communicate with each other, and get some idea of where the other is coming from. One of the various points of difference seen and expanded on in the novels, is that the Lizards – being reptilian – have just one all-purpose nether hole, the cloaca. Also – the novels have the Lizards being part of a highly-disciplined, very-proper-to-the-point-of-prissiness, society: whereby they – and the individualist / undisciplined / unrestrained / prone-to-foul-mouthedness humans – have trouble “getting” each other.
Dialogue imagined –
Human: You and your explosive cloaca can just fuck right off.
Lizard: Mouth off however you will, Earthling – we are the stronger, we will win, if you’re sensible you will come to terms with us – otherwise, you will suffer the consequences.
Human: Fuck you and whatever unknown creature from your world, you rode in on – we’ll fight you to the last.
Lizard: That is not logical…
And on and on – much sci-fi material overall, revolves round highly-logical aliens, and magnificently-illogical-and-irrational humans. In the end of Turtledove’s novel series, the most technically-advanced nations on Earth – by a combination of highish-tech, stubbornness, insane self-sacrifice, and greater and quicker adaptability – manage to fight the Lizards to a draw, and the planet is divided.
