It's Saturday Night, I'm drunk, and I'm tired

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Hello all you happy peoples,
When I say I’m drunk I suppose I should qualify that statement. I’m currently in a state of extreme looseness and gaiety, but not yet at the point where I have lost all self-control.

I’m tired because I’m alone! Work was rough too but that kind of tiredness I can deal with. Really though, I’m fed up of being single. It’s been four months now, and maybe that’s selfish of me to complain about, but I freaking hate it! I am 22 years old, intelligent, a “nice guy” (lol) with a fairly athletic build and oodles of style. I’m not looking for the love of my life here, just somebody fun to hang out with.

I think my problem is my social life. I have none. It’s not that I’m not capable. Last August, my parents called my college’s dean and reported that I was an alcoholic. I assure you I’m not (honestly). This turn of events forcibly relocated me from my social network of Boston to my social desert of Orlando. I’ve been seing a doctor and he recommended I go back to school this term. No dice. Sooooo I’m still here. I’ve been attending some clubs and social functions, but making friends 'aint what it used to be. Maybe it’s my fault, who knows.

My personality is that of a hopeless romantic. I’ve only had one girlfriend ever and we dated for 1.5 years. We almost got married but it didn’t work out. No girl has ever liked me initially, and any girl that perhaps did I’ve most likely scared away due to me coming on too strong. I always come on too strong. In every activity that I do I put 100% of my focus, energy, and creativity into it; this nearly always scares women away. My male friends love it at least lol. My guy/girl friend ratio is probably around 85/15.

My friends and relatives all tell me not to worry, that it will happen in time. To that I politefully say “fuck off” (is that allowed in this forum?). I exist in time and so does the dust I walk on. I refuse to passively accept my lonely existence until chance or Providence deigns to provide me with a partner.

I’m probably really coming off as a huge whiny cry-baby in this post here. So many people suffer more than me and I have the chutzpah to waste peoples’ time reading about my immature emo-esque loneliness. If it helps any, I really am lonely. Many people have told me that I have a mature heart, and that they cant believe I’m only 22. If I wasted your time, I’m sorry.

As for replies to the post; honestly, anything goes. I posted this mostly for personal catharsis (right word?). The posters of this board garner high respect in my mind, so I am always grateful for your input,
Best wishes,
Autolycus

2

Hey man I completely identify with you. I’m 21 and have never had a long-term girlfriend. It really is important to get out there and socialize. I think you also have to just go with the flow and try not to get a date the first time you meet a girl. I recently had to move in with my grandparents who live outside the city and it is harder to socialize because in addition to that I am a full-time student and have a job. But a week ago a friend invited me to a bar with some of his friends. I met a girl there I had not seen in literally around 8 years, well we ended up making out pretty much the whole time and I slept at her place. Good things happened because I had the initiative and actually went out and did some socializing, I’ve been talking to said girl on the phone pretty regularly since then though I haven’t had a chance to see her again yet. Just remember your only 22 you’ve got your whole life ahead of you to find that person.

3

Why would your parents invent a tale about you being an alcoholic if you’re not? I’d say your first priorities need to be to get whatever’s unsorted in your life sorted out and get back to school.

4

Both of you guys are pansies.

I’ll be 22 as of next week and I’ve never even had a girlfriend.

Runs to corner and cries

maybe that’s part of the problem :wink:

5

These two statements don’t go together. I’m intending to say this in the most constructive way possible, so I hope you can read it charitably.
IANAD. But just judging from your post, you might want to re-think the notion that you’re not an alcoholic. That’s not meant as a criticism. I just think that it’s hard enough to be lonely (I know all about that) without adding alcohol to the mix.

In any event, I hope you find lots of friends and people who understand you and remove your sense of loneliness.

6

You say you’re not looking for the love of your life, but you then come on too strong with the girls you do meet. IANAD, but it sounds like you might be an obsessive sort, Autolycus, with perhaps a touch of depression thrown in for good measure. Medications are available now to help alievate these maladies. I’d suggest you talk to a doc knowledgeable in these areas. It’s true you’re only 22 with lots of time ahead, but if you don’t do something at some point to turn things around, you will one day be 42 with the same problems. Best of luck to you.

7

Never let yourself be told that your problems are insignificant because someone out there has larger ones. If that were true, then only one person at any given time would be worthy of interest and sympathy, and that’s simply ridiculous. Your personal happiness isn’t made unimportant because somebody else has less.

8

Thank you for your concern,
I am an only child, and not a purposeful one. My parents have become most overprotective of me. With regards to drinking, last summer I screwed up and drank to excess 3-4 times last summer while living in the same condo as my parents. They viewed the aftereffects whilst not informing me of their opinion of this behavior.

I am not blameless; they have a very parentally-rational reason for forcing me home for a year. That’s all I will say for now.

As per therapy and anxiety and/or depression, I’m fine now. I am quite well aware of my personal nervous/depressive tendecies. 40 mg of an SSRI along with talk therapy manages it without fail ^_^,
Warm regards,
Autolycus