And viceversa: the one with the Santa belly is my mother, I’ve got a fat ass and thickening thighs. Opposite ends of the problem, as it were.
Autocorrect. Nerd I saw mere?
Clam-shell packaging. Whoever invented that stuff was downright evil.
Oh wow, another good solid rule for remembering this one. In fact, it’s the best one I’ve seen, and it had never occurred to me.
I tell people: “It’s clear that every monster must have*** its ***own ice cream cone.”
What has it got in it’s nasty little pocketses?
Today I discovered that, if I want a new video card, I have to make sure the power supply in my PC is powerful enough to handle a current generation GPU. This information is only available in one place - it’s written on the PSU itself. I can’t just check my Device Manager, or run a handy app, I in fact have to crawl on the floor, open up the PC, and shine a light into the dusty dark recesses to find out.
In so many ways technology is amazingly advanced, and in so many other ways it’s trapped in the primordial soup.
I have found this to be the case with appliances. In the past year I have had to deal with a dryer, dishwasher, stove, and most recently a washer. I can’t easily Google them up because the model number is some long hairy mess of letters and numbers, but each one is its own special snowflake, so looking for a Maytag washing machine just doesn’t cut it.
When I was looking up the stove I found a set of metal tags riveted behind the top back corner–rotating them upwards and in view showed all of the important information – props to LG for that one.
You also bring to mind the shortsightedness of connector design: They were pretty bad in the past (PS-2 mouse anyone?) but you would have thought that in the mid 90s the USB people would have been smart enough to choose a connector that didn’t have a specific orientation, like the new Apple charger cable. Come on, folks, do we really need to get a pocket mirror and flashlight to plug in a USB cable?
Just try it out if you are in a bilingual situation. It always is the case that when I need to type English, the suggestions and autocorrect are Portuguese. And vice versa.
Extra bonus: when I send a text to my wife in Portuguese on my phone, the next time I use Siri on my Apple Watch to send a text to her, the spoken language is interpreted as Portuguese. That’s well and good as long as it doesn’t bleed over to non-wife contacts, but sometimes I find Siri trying to pound spoken English into Portuguese when I am texting a friend at work.
The fucking brown paper towels at work that seem specifically designed to not actually absorb fluids. :mad:
Thee shouldest not attempteth “Biblical” language unless thou understandeth how the subject-verb agreement workest.
Little things:
-
Huge toilet paper dispensers where you have to reach your hand up to get the toilet paper that often rips because it is so thin. Becomes a rescue mission finding the opening on the roll.
-
I am no grammar expert but simple mistakes like ‘I was real tired’- instead of the correct- ‘really tired.’ Or ‘Joe, the guy that lived next door’ - instead of the correct ‘Joe, the guy who lived next door.’
-
People who make jokes about my unusual last name and think they are coming up with these genuis phrases that I have never heard before.
-
Thanks for this thread- good to get the little shit annoying stuff out.
This used to be one of mine as well, until my new Gerber Dimemulti-tool excised it from my list. It has a blade specifically designed for clamshell packaging (the blade shown at the 1:00 position in the linked picture). The first time I used it my blood pressure dropped 20 points - Ahhhhh, the bliss! That tool is worth twice the price for that feature alone.
I thought it was suppose to be “very” tired and not “really tired”??
A small gripette: People who purchase coats and jackets with a center back seam vent or pleat, who don’t clip that little thread holding it together at the bottom. They walk around with this awkward cupped under the butt look or the thing pooching out at the thighs. Not a pretty sight from behind.
Ideally, the seller of the garment would clip this thread but most don’t.
Individuals who feel compelled to say to me, “Oh, you’re so short!”
Stunning insight. :smack: And for your next trick?
I feel ya. They move the printer that was next to my desk to another location on the floor so I have to walk further! It had definitely cut down on my printing.
Indeed. Any joke one can make about someone’s name or obvious physical attributes is almost certain to be one they’ve heard many, many times before.
So the rule is, if you’re thinking of making such a joke, don’t. Unless you have a deep-seated need to be annoying in a way that makes you look really stupid.
I have long maintained that men’s clothes are designed for their actual bodies, while women’s are made for an ideal supermodel shape that doesn’t even exist in nature.
I’m a machinist by trade. At home I wear normal street clothes, but at work I have pants with super-deep pockets (I can carry a bottle of water, a flashlight, and a keychain in just one pocket)–and boys’ size boxer shorts as my underwear. They are much cooler and drier than women’s panties, and allow much greater freedom of motion.
People who post on messageboards using obscure internet acronyms (or worse, acronyms they just made up on the spot) that send me scurrying to Urban Dictionary to figure out WTH they are talking about. That crap drives me BSC.
There is a super-tall guy I see once in a while at work. You would be proud that I have bitten back “You’re so tall!” on more than one occasion.
:o