It's Time To Play "Spot The Crime"!

That’s right, contestants – you’re going to be shown three photographs which may or may not be of a suspicious nature. It’s your job to Spot The Crime!

Is everyone ready? Alright then, let’s begin!

Our first photograph is of a window curtain. As you can see, it had a curious flaw in it, almost as someone managed to hurl a large ball of flame at it. Hmmm…

Our second photograph is of the charred remains of a housefly. And although you can’t tell by the picture, I can let you in on a additional bit of information: The fly is lying on the floor directly beneath the curtain from photograph #1! Oooooo…

And finally, our third photograph: A canister of Pledge and a Bic lighter. Careful inspection of the can of Pledge reveals an inscription: Warning - FLAMMABLE.

So, how about it players? Have you figured out what dastardly misdeed this kitchen is the scene of? Were you able to Spot The Crime?

We’ll give you all just a few more moments before we reveal the answer!


TIMES UP! And now, we reveal the answer to today’s Spot The Crime:

I’m a dead man. When she gets home, my wife is going to fucking kill me.

So, were you able to Spot The Crime? If not, better luck next time! Thanks for playing Spot The Crime!
[sub]send help![/sub]

Hahahahahahaha…that is classic. I mean it in the fondest possible sense when I ask, “are you 14?” :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley:

Hal Briston – poster boy for workplace hijinks. You thought once he got away from mischievous coworkers he’d be free and clear? Think again.

You are sooo busted.

I’m telling!

Dude. You’re my hero.
On behalf of neanderthalic men everywhere, allow me to be the first to say that there’s nothing cooler than killing a fly with a fireball (unless you’ve got a trebuchet handy, but nobody keeps one of those in the kitchen).

Also, you can’t be held liable. Looking at picture #3, it’s obvious that all warnings on the can are too blurry to be legible. So how could you have known?

Pity 'bout the curtain, though. As cool as the “flaw” is, it was a nice one.


You could always try, “But honey, I knew you were thinking of redecorating. I just thought I’d give you an excuse.”

cries with laughter

sincerely hopes your wife will, too

Joins in

I’d be too busy asking for a demonstration to be too upset about the curtain, myself.

:slowly shakes head:
Hal, Hal, Hal.
At this point your only hope is to put the lighter and Lysol next to the dead fly and explain to kitten how you just managed to smack the little guy down before he did any real damage.

Although you will be dead you may rest easy in your grave that you are now my hero. Now I’m just wondering what type of Pledge to pick-up after work.

Any chance you can blame the dog?

Dude, your wife is pregnant and you pull this?

It’s been nice knowing you…

At least you got the fly.

Great story!*
1.Remove all the curtains now!

2.Take to dry cleaner on other side of town.

3.Say to wife “I wanted clean curtains.”

4.Return with angry protestations about how “I’ll never go to those dry cleaners again after what they did to my favorite curtains.”
*I used to love killing ants in my apartment with a lighter and a can of hairspray. Then one day I tried to kill a huge, flying insect that had alighted on my screen door, it was on that day that I discovered that the metal screens from my childhood had been switched to being made of plastic and I never noticed. The funny thing was that the apartment manger watched me do it! A 6 inch hole in the middle of my screen door and me hold a lighter and a can of hairspray, looking like an idiot.

I didn’t even look at the OP’s name or the spoiler and I knew this was a guy thing.

Uh, there is this tool–long wire handle, maybe plastic, mesh square thingy on the other end…

Naw. Nuke 'em from orbit.
I had to take out about 50 flies one day who had slipped in around a gap in the front door–driven mad with lust by the scent of my crockpot garlic chicken. They were all trying to escape throught the bathroom window, which doesn’t open. I just used plain windex, no flames at all. If I’d been a little more Rambo, I might have gotten an entire bathroom remodel out of it.

Or you could just run to the store and pick up a set of curtains that look very similar.

Tape the lighter and the Pledge to the dog’s paws and let him take the blame.

HA! Not a chance…even if he got the identical curtains (pre-fireball, natch), I bet she’d notice.

Nah, it’d be better to blame the sheep.

What? You know somebody was going to say it.

Hal … before you are subsequently beaten to a pulp and interred in a mason jar, you have to think of alternate explanations here. Now, if you can make a hole in the window directly beyond the curtain – say, the size of a .38 round – and a corresponding one directly in line with the one in the window, you can say it was a driveby.

The curtain charring? Sulfur-tipped bullet, man. The fly was just collateral; wrong place, wrong time.

Or! Or. How quickly can you get your hands on a Komodo dragon? You could say it was just trying to roast a snack – that being the fly. [sub]Just hope she doesn’t know they don’t really spit fire.[/sub]

Wait, do you have a fireplace? And some marshmallows? Because, you know, accidents of that sort happen, and you did clean up the marshmallow goo, but the curtain remains mortally wounded unfortunately.

Or maybe you’ve been developing your powers of pyrokinesis! The fly was your target, but you know, you don’t have much control yet, so … foom. Come on, she has to be impressed at your success with it thus far.

Really, I think you can work your way out of this…