It's YOUR body, dammit.

The BBQ Pit
1

So, I had this client in clinic the other day. Nice guy, really. His major malfunction seems to be sciatica. OK, fine, some Shiatsu on that leg and some extra attention to the hamstrings (which felt like freaking telephone cables) seemed to be in order. It was an hour and a half massage, so plenty of time to work the affected leg and still give him a good full-body massage.

But I’m digressing just a tad.

I had just finished working the guy’s feet and was ready to move on to the rest of his leg, and, in a disappointed sounding voice, he said “No more tootisies?” (this guy is a regular so I felt comfortable kidding around with him a bit and referring to his feet as tootsies) “You want more tootsies?” I asked, and uncovered his feet to give them a couple more minutes of attention. “Well, yeah, but you’re the boss. I don’t want to disrupt your routine. I figure you have this down so that you can get the entire body in an expeditious manner.”

Well, yeah, sort of, but…

As a matter of fact, I don’t have a routine. I’m not going to tell you the kind of words we here at CCSN use for schools that teach students a set routine. I have a general idea of how much time I’m going to spend on each area of the body, but I’m not locked into it. How I go about doing a massage depends on what I feel each individual client needs based on his/her intake form, description of symptoms, palpating the body to feel if there are tight muscles, knots, stiffness in a particular area, etc., and what the client has told me they expect from the massage.

If you want some extra work on your feet, tell me. I don’t mind giving extra attention to feet, really. (see sig) A good foot massage can make a person feel relaxed all over, and you’ve already told me you have a hard time relaxing. Also, it’s your freaking body. I do not have the right to do whatever the hell I want to with it just because you’re naked under a sheet on my table. If you want a particular area given extra attention, or want me to keep working on an area for a couple of extra minutes, it’s your right to request it. Also, you foked over twenty-five dollars for this massage. Once paid, it is your right to decide what that money is paying for (within the bounds of reason, law, and morality, of course.)

So, don’t tell me I’m the boss. Yes, you should “let the therapist be the therapist”- often pain in one area of the body is referred from another area, and muscle tension in one area can actually throw other areas off kilter (hamstrings can be a major factor in low back pain, so if that’s your complaint, and I notice the 'strings are very tight, I’m going to want to work them), but for Pete’s sake, it’s your body, it’s your money.

If you want an area of your body to be given some extra attention, just ask. I’m happy to do it.

Really.

2

Just let him know that he’s the boss as far his body is concerned. Sometimes people feel a bit cowed by experts and always assume that the person in the white coat knows best.

3

I’m sure he just meant that he’d defer to your judgment. There’s a certain amount of mystery surrounding the more exotically named massage styles. This coupled with the fact that in order to treat a headache with acupuncture you stick a pin in your elbow or something probably has him feeling that you’d be better in charge of the overal massage strategy than he would be.

4

I’ve done and received a small amount of massage. Firstly, I have some idea how annoying it is when someone does that. But I also understand (though can’t explain) the urge to phrase things as questions and suggestions rather than requests or orders. I always tried to (though didn’t especially well) invite feedback where appropriate .

5

I’m happy to see you no longer work at Wallyworld.

6

He was just trying to be polite. And $25.00 for an hour and a half massage? Man, sign me up.

7

Jesus Christ! He was being nice! Jeez some of you doctors think you know everything, and I’m sure he didn’t want to fall on your bad side (doctors can be cold :frowning: )!

8

Well, I get a lot of massage for therapeutic reasons. If my massage therapist felt that rubbing my butt would help relieve pain in my neck, I’d let her have at it - I’m assuming he was just defering to your superior knowledge level.

(You know how sometimes a sore back can be caused by a bad knee? - maybe he was thinking something like that.)

9

Check your friendly neighborhood yellow pages for massage schools. They should have student clinics where you can get a pretty good massage really, really cheap.

And, no, he wasn’t “deferrig to my superior knowledge”, although he does do a certain amount of that as well. . I’m a student massage therapist, for cryin out loud. He just didn’t want to disrupt my “routine”. And anyway, my superior knowledge of anatomy and physiology doesn’t give me the right to ride roughshod over him. If I feel the need to work on a particular area that may seem unrelated to the problem he’s having, he has the right to know why, and to speak up for himself if he thinks something is wrong. I mean, hell, an incompetent massage therapist could injure him. Even a really good one could inflict some nasty bruises if he/she asked “Is the pressure OK”, and the client said “fine”, thinking the therapist was the expert. I would hate to find that I had hurt someone because they didn’t speak up for themselves in the name of being polite.

I just hope that when it comes to matters more grave than a sore leg and a bit of low back pain, he doesn’t tell his doctor 'you’re the boss/expert", and not ask questions about his health care.

10

You call this a Pit thread? Gotta be the mildest one ever.

11

Too tempting. Really.

12

Thea, You say he was a nice guy, maybe he was a bit too nice, like a pushover. I’m sure you thought about this already, but i’m sure he is shy (heck, I know I sure would be) and he doesn’t want to feel like he is ordering you to do anything, even the slightest hint of unintentional rudeness can make you feel a bit bitter towards him and create tension in the room. For instance when my mom is kind enough to rub my back I only feel comftorble telling her if it starts to feel uncomftorble because she is so close and won’t think i’m being bossy. When he said ‘tootsies’ im sure he was just trying to break the ice and make it easier to explain to you what he felt he needed. But the fact is he sounds shy and probably embarrassed to his condition, try your best to lighten the mood with light conversation etc. Please don’t feel like i’m telling you how to do your job, anyways since he is a regular i’m sure everything will be fine in time.

13

It seems like the guy just wanted his feet worked on more,I wouldn’t get twisted out about it!

14

I can see myself saying something like this. He’s probably shy about the situation or not really sure how to act. There are people out there who get routine massages, but he doesn’t sound like one of them. He’s probably unsure of what he’s ‘supposed’ to do or worried that he’ll breach etiquette. I know that if I went and got a massage, I’d do the same thing. I’d pretty much just lie there and not ask for anything special.

It’s sort of like special ordering in a restaurant. I used to hate to do this, until my sister became a waitress and would make special requests about every dish and told me that it was OK. She encouraged me (as a vegetarian) to ask for dishes meat-free, or with other random changes that I just happened to like. Before that, I pretty much figured the menu was the menu, and maybe it would be too hard for them to change things around.

Just encourage the guy to speak up. Remind him that it isn’t an exact science and that his input is important to the session.

15

I kind of hate to disrupt a “routine” when getting a massage as well. Part of it is that I like to go all numb and not think or talk, just enjoy (and occationally flinch - but its a good kind of flinch). I also don’t like lopsided massages - you know, the “all body” massages where they never got to your hands before time ran out, and so you feel like a bowl of jello with tight hands. Since I have no concept of time during a massage, its best if I let you do your thing. I try to be respectful of the therapists time, I know there may be another client waiting, and I only paid for half an hour or so.

Since I’ve never really gotten massages often enough to frequent the same therapist and learn their technique (and perhaps their routine), varying it is difficult. I don’t know where they are going to go next. And while tootsies are wonderful, I don’t want to have them overworked at the expense of my scalp.