Okay, so I hurt my foot today in a really dumb way. I had been sitting at my computer too long and when I got up, I didn’t realize that my leg had gone completely to sleep, so that when I put my weight on it, it collapsed and twisted the hell out of my ankle and foot. (I’ve had it X-rayed and my doctor will get back to me.)
The problem is this: I can’t tell people I fell off my leg. It’s so undignified. What more iiiiinnnnnteresting story can all you creative people come up with?
I’ve done that but mine wasn’t as severe though. Funny thing is, I was living with one of my brothers and ended up sitting in an open computer case on the floor.
When asked, I simply told people that I twisted my foot.
You can tell people what really happened to me, a few years back. I dropped a frozen turkey on it. :smack: Yeah, thats dignified. Really. :rolleyes:
Hey, I broke a bone in my ankle last week playing soccer and since it’s a sport injury, I thought I’d get some guy points, but nooo…
And since I have an arm-crutch people just meeting me or on the street think I’m crippled or contagious or something; which actually keeps the panhandlers away, but it’s disconcerting just the same.
I broke my foot (which wasn’t even asleep, so I don’t have that excuse) walking across a level floor. So you shouldn’t feel so bad - just say you twisted it.
Two years ago, I broke my ankle in school because I was jumping up and down and landed on it wrong. The additional lack of dignity comes with the fact that I was jumping because I scored highly on an assignment I had expected to fail.
I just told people I was injured while helping evacuate a burning orphanage. The sad thing is a lot of people believed me.
I ripped my left anterior cruciate ligament playing volleyball. I was playing volleyball because a rather spathic young lady asked me to. “Falling off your leg” is down-right dignified compared to that.
A few years ago, Mr. S fell down the stair. That’s not a typo – he fell off the bottom step. (He’d gone upstairs to turn off a light at bedtime, then come back down in the dark and miscounted the steps.) He landed flat on his back in terrible pain. I might also mention that he was nude at the time. Confused the hell out of the dog.
Fortunately he did nothing more than mildly sprain his ankle. But once I got him back into bed he was still shivering from the shock of the fall.
Then there’s the time he accidentally shoved a screwdriver up his nose on company time. Good thing he didn’t give himself a lobotomy.
Intimidation: “I took some shit from somebody laughing at my limp, so I kicked their ass so hard, my foot got broken in three places. You want next?”
Sympathy: “Some bitch in line at Starbucks was dancing to her I-Pod and stepped on my toes with her slut-pumps.”
Heroic: “I ran into the street to save a 4 year old blind orphan and her three-legged puppy from a taxi, and as I got to the far curb with them in my arms, I tripped over some idiot leaving Starbucks in her slut-pumps that was distracted by her I-Pod.”
Mysterious: “Yeah, you’d like to know. And I’d like to tell you, but the master says i can’t share with your kind. (Start muttering right after you say this and fumble in your pocket like you’re massaging The Relic)”
Funny: Invent a long, long story involving ducks, bicycle messengers, a fireman and a naked man in a hang glider. Have it make no sense at all, and laugh uncontrollably while you tell it.
Pissed Off: “Oh man don’t remind me, it’s stupid and I think the police might be looking for me”
Confused: “I don’t know. I really don’t know. By the way, did I knock on your door Saturday morning, around 5?”
I did the same thing watching TV in the middle of the night in May. Got up out of the chair to go get a drink and as soon as I put my weight on my left leg it turned to jelly. I ended up with a very bad sprain (it is still fucked) and required days off work. I had had the same thing happen once before on a train to work. When it happened on the train however there were seats to grab on to so I didn’t fall, at home I just fell like a chopped down tree.
I told people just like that, including the previous event and then cautioned them not to sit with their foot up on the other knee.
Try telling people you got a black eye when you smacked your head off of a chair. (It was the middle of the night, it was dark, and I bent over to pick something up, forgetting there was a fan sitting on a chair in the middle of my room.)