During a recent cross-time raiding trip to acquire nude picture of Mary Ann Summers, I sneezed while setting the verniers on my Burroughs-Libby continua buggy and wound up in the wrong universe. Specifically I found myself flying over the seas of Gor, a place I’ve always avoided. John Norman’s novels are a complete whitewash; the place is hell. And below me was a ship carrying captive girls to a life of degradation.
I spent a few seconds trying to persuade myself to ignore the situation, as there’s no money in do-gooding. Sadly I found all my rationalizations unconvincing. Thus I teleported all the captives’ into the buggy (leaving them in the transporter buffer, as there was no room otherwise), and aftewards scuttled the slaver ship, marooning its crew on a convenient desert island. There was nothing to eat or drink there but I left them plenty of steak knives and A-1 sauce.
But that leaves me with the question of what to do with the 276 refugees. I can’t send 'em home for obvious reasons, and the three most obvious universes are out. Something terrible’s happened on Paradise Island, so Wonder Woman and her sisters can’t help; there were never enough of Amazons to absorb that many anyway. They’d get good help from the Howards on Tellus Tertius, but there are warrants out for my arrest there and I’m thinking they’ll shot me on sight. Obviously Narnia would be ideal but people like me should avoid places where Aslan has jurisdiction.
What fictional societies shall I appeal to for assistance?
ST: TNG would probably be your best bet. Preferably while Riker is on leave, otherwise he’s gonna score with at least one of them. Troi can talk the girls down…might blow an empathy gasket, but nothing she couldn’t recover from. Eventually, a long term solution could likely be worked out with Rigel 7.
I’d avoid DS9. Quark has enough Dabo girls, and considering where these have been, he’d look like a sugar daddy to them.
B5 is another option. Couple weeks with Ivanova and Delenn, and those gals will be ass-kicking Rangers ready to retake their homeworld. Unfortunately for the Centauri, Molari would likely be found strangled with his own…attributes.
Movie Glinda is a bitch. “You always had the power to go back home, Dorothy. I just didn’t tell you because you had to find out for yourself.”
As for Book-Glinda – well, there’s no sex in Oz, at least for humans. (Nobody dies but the population doesn’t increase.) So I’m not convinced she or Ozma or … um… what’s-her-name are equipped to be helpful to the refugees.
Middle-Earth is too close to Narnia. Plus there may be some bad feelings among the Ainur from my last visit.
Except that a slight miscalculation takes you to Klingon or Romulan or Dominion or Cardassian space. And those folks are too quick on the trigger finger for my taste.
I don’t think “everybody but Skald” would want to live in a place with no fucking and/or no desire to fuck. I, for one, do not wish to live in such a place. For that matter, I suspect warriors and/or lawyers are turned away at the border for other reasons.
Troi’s an empath. A boatload of refuges from Gor is, perhaps, slightly less overwhelming to such a person that an equal number of Holocaust survivors, but it’s still going to shock her to the very depths of her soul. She’ll be able to help them, but it will cost her dearly. It’s a price I suspect she’d be willing to pay…but it’s still a hefty price.
Place with Glinda = Place with No Sex. Real people do not want to live there. Fictional refugees from Gor might. But nobody in Oz is gonna be able to deal with what these gals have been through. The language to describe what they’ve experienced may not exist in Oz.
Send them to Torch in the Honorverse. A planet full of freed slaves and their descendants will have plenty of sympathy for them, will certainly be willing to educate them about how slavery is wrong and are used to dealing with such things as sex slaves with no useful education.
And if their former masters somehow end up there via some sort of flux in the space-time continuum, their visit will be…short. And messy.