Last week, I got an email at work from a c-worker. The email had the subject, “Look” and the content was “Here” and the attachment was a page and a half Word document.
In this document this co-worker told me how beautiful he thought I was, and what a great chick I am, plus a lot more besides. He also mentioned that he saw me going home with my SO (who is also a co-worker) and returning to work the next morning with my SO. I guess he put two and two together. Why he decided to send the email after he saw that, I’ll never know.
Here’s my problem: this guy has made me feel so uncomfortable! No one has ever made me feel this violated. I’m so fucking angry at him for making me feel this way.
When I step back and look at the whole issue logically, I think to myself “take it easy, there’s nothing threatening in the letter”. To tell the truth, the guy doesn’t have a lot of social skills, and probably just wanted to extend his compliments to me. Now I skulk around the office, terrified I might come face to face with him. I really hate him for making me feel this way, and that’s a rather novel sensation for me. I’m generally an easy-going girl.
Am I nuts for feeling uncomfortable? Is this harassment? He’s only done it the once… I wish I could just get over it. Right now, I wish I could beat the shit out of him.
I was just about to say that he’s probably just socially inept, and that it was a well intentioned admission that he’s attracted to you… but I nixed it because I’m not so sure. A page and a half is spreading it on a bit thick, and how freaking great can he think you are when you make no mention of the two of you having any social interaction? Then there’s sending it on despite the knowledge that you are in a relationship and monitoring your comings and goings.
I’d tell him politely but firmly that you are not available. If you want to get cute, send an email that due to an anti-virus program error, the attachment was lost and you have contacted the IT department, who will send it on after they have retrieved it and reviewed the contents.
I know. Don’t I sound like a complete bitch? That’s my problem. I can’t figure out why I’m such a bitch about this whole issue.
BTW, the letter was more on the lines of “I wish I’d known you before you got with your current partner, cause you’re a really beautiful person…blah blah blah.” For a page and a half.
And for the record, I’ve not gone round telling everyone at work about this, or trying to make him feel bad or anything. I don’t know him very well, but he seems to be a nice enough guy, and I don’t want to make a laughingstock of him or anything. I’m just so upset that he put me in this uncomfortable position.
I think it’s appropriate to reply, saying that his letter made you feel extremely uncomfortable and that you feel that it’s inappropriate and unprofessional in a work setting to send that kind of email. Depending on how you feel, you might also riff on how it’s none of his business who you leave work with.
I can see why you are irritated that he made you feel uncomfortable for no apparent reason. He should have just kept it to himself.
My guess is that he felt he needed to tell you, in order to get past his feelings for you. You know, gain closure. If you talk to him about this at all, I’d send him a short email, telling him nicely but firmly that you’re not at all interested, and that you want to maintain a professional work environment. And then just try to forget about it.
He did send me an email today, apologizing for his previous letter. I replied back to him, and told him that he did make me feel very uncomfortable but that I accepted his apology.
Now I just have to stop feeling weirded out I guess.
Anyway, I got what I was looking for here! Which is: I’m not completely off my rocker for feeling bad about this.
I know exactly how you feel… I don’t know how to accept a compliment. Why? Because theres nothing worhth complimenting, of course!!!
Some dude gave me a letter asking em out once, adn called me a “goddess of cupids” and a “perfect rose”… If "goddess of Love was there instead of “goddess of cupids”, which does NOT make sense, I don’t think I woulda punced him exactly that hard.
I hate it when poele compliment me. In fact, I feel like hitting whoever does. if you’re in anyway like me, then I think you should just glare at him whenever you see him, and then he’l get the idea, and leave you alone. If all else fails. talk to me, and i’l get you a Voodoo doll or sumshit…
