I've got a secret!

Guess what it is.

You’ve got long curly sideburns?

You converted to Judiasm?

You are the Artist Formerly Known As Prince?

You are the weakest link?

You really wrote “The Sound and the Fury”?

You found out what to do with a drunken sailor?

Is it animal, vegetable or mineral?

That isn’t a secret. In fact, that is just obscene.

You’re pregnant!?
The butler did it?
You’re in the Witness Protection Program?
You shot the sheriff, but you didn’t kill the deputy?

You used the potty like a big boy?

You have a clue?

You’re really Harpo but you’re pretending to be Chico?

You know, you’re really earning your name here.

You wrote the book of love?

You already may be a winner?

You’re in love with us? (please please)

You’ll stop the rain?

You’re a man playing a woman playing a man?

C’mon, the suspense is killing me!

Your secret identity is NoClueGirl. It’s all so clear in retrospect…

You’ve replaced our regular coffee with Folgers crystals?

You can see London, France and someone’s underpants?

All our base are belong to you?

We’re on Candid Camera?


  1. He’s engaged, or

  2. He cut his toe off

You’re a joker?

You’re a smoker?

You’re a midnight toker?

You are our new NoClue-giving overlord?

Well, he’s not Zarqawi irl…

Are you going to be on the cover of The Rolling Stone?

You would make a beautiful cover. I can see it now. You’d be on the front smilin’, man. Awwww beautiful!

You’re Elvis!

I knew it all along.

Are you wearing lacy red panties?
Gah, I hate it when I don’t know a secret!!

You farted didn’t you?

[sub]secret, secret, I’ve got a secret… domo domo[/sub]

You’re planning a surprise party for me?

You’re not going on this show, are you?