AV, I haven’t been through what you’re facing but I do know that one of the best resources for 12-step programs in New York City is the at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center on 13th Street. The Center has a referral service called Project Connect, which can help you find an AA group that works well for you. Their available during business hours at 212.620.7310.
Strength and best wishes to you…
Congratulations, Art. And best of luck.
It can be done. You can take your life back, and get back to being the person you once were.
I’ve got six years substance-free, after ten years of substance abuse, and it’s all been very much worthwhile. Even the first year of sobriety, bizarre as it was, was better than my last few years of using. And now, years later, my life is pretty amazing. I have the love of an incredibly beautiful, smart, funny guy. I have a life I couldn’t imagine back then.
It’s going to be hard, doing this. It’s going to take time. Don’t be discouraged. In my experience, it’s very much worth it.
Welcome back to your life.
Hmm, very interesting Dinsdale. I’ve been doing Moderation Management myself without really knowing what to call it. Other than “let’s don’t get shitfaced into oblivion today” LOL. I was/am what you’d call a high-functioning problem drinker.
Art, everyone else has pretty much covered everything. The only maybe-helpful thing I could add is to try to get interested in something else, a less-toxic hobby for instance.
As stupid as it sounds, video-gaming helped me get my drinking under control. I really enjoyed it (a pre-requisite definitely) yet couldn’t do it while wasted. It gave me something to do when I was alone and helped pass the time while de-toxing. Yeah it cost money but so does drinking. No it’s not as good as say exercising, but certainly healthier than a binge.
Anyways, having something else to do helped alot, probably not as much as my desire to not be an obliterate drunk, but it did help. I’ve been accused of replacing one time-and-money wasting addiction for another, but somehow it doesn’t seem like much of a comparison, if you know what I mean.
However, I still love beer. And wine. Just not lovin’ it to death anymore.
Good luck to you, dear. 
Best wishes for you, Art Vandelay. You have about 12,000 people to listen to you when you hit a rough spot, and I’m sure any of the people in this thread would help you through it if you needed a friend on PM.
My brother is an alcoholic. He is four years clean and sober. Thank God.
Wow! I was actually a bit leery of checking out the responses to my post this morning. I know a lot of people on the boards like to argue & debate postings and I had a knee-jerk fear that maybe I’d get some reponses ridiculing my post. I’m very touched to read the responses though. Thank you one & all for the encouragement and advice.
To all of you who suggested alternative programs to AA, I will definitely find out more about them (I’m keeping a wide open mind about this), but for the time being I intend to give AA a try.
And to just one or two specific points folks mentioned:
I did allude to that in my OP, but that realization is definitely a key point in my decision. I have big group of “acquaintance” bar rats whom I’ve come to realize just aren’t friends. I’ve seen the same faces at the same bars for several years now, but I don’t even know anything about them. In some cases, some of the people I considered friends I realized I didn’t even know their last names, what they did for work, just that they sat at the same stool every Saturday night and rehashed the same, sometimes very dull conversations over and over again. As soon as I realized that, I suddenly saw how dreary my own life was.
That was a fear I had. Not that being gay made me an alcohollic, but that whatever group I went to for help would link the two together. I admit at one time I was not coping with my sexuality very well, and maybe that was a contributing factor to how I got to my current situation. But I am a lot more comfortable now with that, it’s the drinking culture I can’t deal with any more.
Oxymoron, thanks for the tip of the Gay & Lesbian center’s referral line. I will give them a call.
Any way, thanks again to one and all, and I will keep you posted on how I’m doing!
Sometimes I’m even capable of grammatical, spell-checked posts :).
Good luck, I hope you find something that works.
**Art Vandelay, Architect wrote:
Any way, thanks again to one and all, and I will keep you posted on how I’m doing!**
Yes, please do! We’re all cheering for you! May the Lord & Lady smile upon you!
That was a brave post to make, and I’m proud of you for writing it.
Remember, no matter what time it is, there are always Dopers awake to talk you through a rough spot. I can only speak for myself, but I’d bet that most of the people in this thread would be happy to chat/IM/trade emails when you need us.
Good luck.
{{{Art}}}
Art, I just wanted to let you know that there’s one more person out here who’s thinking of you and wishing you well, and I’ve got a couple of other people who’ll do the same. A friend of mine is very active in 12 Step groups and she’s full of advice, including keep trying AA groups until you find one which works for you. Please add me to the list of people you can e-mail if you need to.
Take care, and good luck,
CJ
Recovering Depressive
There was also at one time talk of arranging a smaller group of folk involved in 12-step programs. I believe geobabe was involved in it. You might want to see if you can dig that up.
How’ve you done the last 2 days, AV?