And I can definitely offer that if your sympathies lie with the libertarian position that drugs (even just marijuana) should not be illegal, do NOT answer the questions on this test honestly! I’m convinced that this is one reason I didn’t get a job I applied for about two years ago, which I Pitted in this thread.
Dave, I don’t know what to say except I’m rooting for you. Hang in there, buddy.
Can you email me your resume with your phone number?
You know what the ultimate irony is?
Questionnaires like these cost me seven years in the Active Duty. Right now I should be a Tech Sergeant. I answered yes to one simple question and got myself permanently disqualified from the military way back in 1994. How I got in and the circumstances surrounding my disqualification are a long Pit thread all in itself.
These tests have brought me nothing but misery and struggle, and no small amount of suffering. Ten years after I first got screwed by these tests I’m still getting screwed.
Hang in there Dave.
It took me a year to find a job above barely more than minimum wage. When you least expect it…it will come.
I was over at my wifes house and she got a call for a job. She didn’t want it and handed me the phone.
Stuff happens that way.
Good luck.
Christ, give the damn fuckers what they want to hear!
Hell, after having been (unfairly) outcast by the military and going through hell recently, shouldn’t this be obvious? The psychology of employment tests is absolutely transparent. Give them by-the-book answers and you’ll leave them smiling. They know those tests are bullshit and so should you. I really feel for you (and I mean that), but if you haven’t learned this fundamental fact by now, it may be that you have some some-defeating issues at work. Sooner or later in life–especially when the family’s welfare hangs in the balance–we all learn you have to play the game, now and then.
Here’s the lowdown: these sons of bitches aren’t looking for nuanced, footnoted, finessed answers on their multiple-choice test. Give them management’s ideal responses and you’ll be in like Flynn. If you can’t do it because of your principles, do it for your family. You are an actor on a stage. Give them the performance of a lifetime.
P.S. I did not intend to be disrespectful. I wish you the very best and will pray for your welfare tonight.
- Carnac
Oh, I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I’ve learned that lesson over the years, God knows I payed a bitter enough price for that little tidbit. The problem is that when the questions are loaded in such a way that sooner or later you have to say something that is damaging whether the answer is yes or no. Then what do you do? Do you portray yourself as Saint David I, or do you portray yourself as vaguely human? Does the test call bullshit on people who canonize themselves, or does it make a fundamental allowance for reality?
It’s like calling heads on a coin toss, and when it comes up heads finding out that you really lost when all the time you thought you were going to win. When you don’t know the rules you can’t influence (or even predict) the outcome, and I’m sick to shit of being at the mercy of crap like that. I want to deal with real people, people who have made mistakes, people who listen to your explanation and understand your actions from the appropriate perspective, rather than some ivory tower academic writing a test for the corporate elite so that they don’t even have to be bothered with talking to the schlubs. Of course, they already have the job, so why should they care about you?
Goddamnit, I’m talking like a fucking pinko. What is this shit doing to me?
You’re going through the same emotional rollercoaster that ANY of us would, were we in the same boat, man. Don’t be so GD hard on yourself.
Let me tell you something. I’ve read your responses over the last couple years and have been highly impressed with your mind and eloquence. I think you’re selling yourself short, big time.
There’s a lot of wisdom on this Board. Would you consider starting a thread in which you outline your credentials, skills, aptitudes and interests, and basically let the power of the Teeming Millions work a little magic for you?
Boy do I know how you feel, Airman!
I’ve been looking for work ever since the wife and I moved back to the US from S. Korea almost exactly a year ago… and have yet to get a call for even a single interview! I’m to the point of applying for a clerk position at an auto parts store nearby, and even they don’t want me (as evidenced by the fact that they haven’t called)!
A B.A. degree, several computer certificates, almost a decade of experience in education, co-author of three education-related books, and I’m completely useless in this job market.
The beautiful thing is that I can’t even apply for unemployment, as I’ve been working overseas for the past several years…
sigh… off to fix another gin and tonic, I suppose…
This is what I get for not spending more time in MPSIMS.
Congratulations to you and Astrogirl (please let “the wife” mean Astrogirl…otherwise I’m going to feel really embarrassed…)!! Yeah, the congratulations are a little late, but better late than never…
Thank you! 
Not all has gone wrong lately! (and, yes, it’s Astrogirl… I did post about our marriage last spring, but I somehow ended up posting it in IMHO, and not many people saw it…)
Airman, I feel your pain; and only a blind fool couldn´t see that you´re a man of integrity. My advice, if it´s worth anything, is that you should seek jobs on small enterprises/business. Look for small business, get the job and treatment you deserve.
Good luck.
Oh, I never responded to this one.
I am not a pilot. That requires a degree, which I do not have due to yet another sob story about me and my know-it-all attitude back then.
You know, I’ve already failed at more things at age 28 than most people do in a lifetime. I’ve had my successes, don’t get me wrong, but they’re always of the temporary variety.
I’m sorry, but if ever there were a thread for me to feel really sorry for myself, this is definitely the one.
Airman, age 26-32 were disastrous for me, thanks to my alcoholism combined with a maladaptive attitude. Tons of failures. I was unemployed for 9 months at one point, for a year at another point. Finally I just kept doing the next right thing. It took a while, but things eventually worked out. It seemed to take forever, and I was scared a lot; for myself and my wife and kids. But each day that I went out and did the next right thing, and acted as if I was a competent reliable person brought me closer to doing that.
Now, over 13 years later my life is great beyond the powers of my earlier imagining. Professional respect, fascinating work, fun (if aggravating) kids, and frankly, Mrs. Mercotan is still pretty damn hot.
So I’ll tell you what my dad (deceased 9 years now) told me back then when things were really bad for me:
You’re gonna be ok. Just figure out what the next right thing is, and do it. Oh, and get a gratitude list, and check it whenever you feel down.
QtM
Airman, if there’s anything you’re NOT, it’s a failure. You have a beautiful wife, a healthy and handsome son, and a fairly large circle of friends, even if you only count those of us here at the Dope.
I blame consumerist society for the this false perception that success is spelled m-o-n-e-y. If you spent the rest of your life digging ditches because that’s the only way you can feed your family, you are more of a man and more of a success than Donald Trump, who can’t seem to find a friend he doesn’t have to pay.
Even the things you describe as your failures appear to have occurred because you wouldn’t stifle your basic honesty in filling out what is basically an ethics test. Any ethics test you have to lie to pass is as irrelevant as the lost episodes of Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
You will find a job. You will find a job because you are constitutionally incapable of letting your family down.
Airman, if you can deal with cold calling people, I’d suggest sales. If you can swing the couple of hundred for an insurance license, class and test there is money to be made in that field. I know multiple people who have made at least $40k the first year and broke into 6 figures within 5 years.
Car sales is an easier field to get into but can be frustrating dealing with both the people you work for and waiting for people to come into the dealership. While sales can be discouraging, having motivation like your faimly depending on you will keep you in the field while others fail.
You’ll do okay, Airman. I have faith in you.
Just don’t go pinko on me.
Check into car sales. There are still, amazingly enough, ethical dealers out there. And sales managers aren’t looking for qualifications or education so much as motivation.
I was reading an article by someone who broke into car sales just to write about them for a car magazine, and the interview response that won the manager over was, “I want to make a lot of money.”
Good luck to you.
You said the magic word:
Clearance
Go here:
Click under “Security Clearance”
Behold the multitude of jobs and try to find one with your skills.
Regards,
-Bouncer-
ps: Best of Luck!
Have you tried the restaurant industry?
It sucks, the hours suck.
The jobs suck.
But you can make some decent money if you work at it.
I make 14/hr and could make 16/hr if I worked full time.
With a degree, I could start at $40k in management.
Just a random throw out.
Most every restaurant is always hiring in the kitchen.