I've never been so insulted in my whole life!

May I present the Mountain Dew Slam of the Night. Congratulations andygirl. I actually logged back onto the internet to let you know how hard I laughed at that.

And yes, there is but one true Altoid.


Myron M. Meyer
The Man Who

“Would you care for a Peppermint?”

You’re right, Fretful Porpentine, let me amend my sentence to say “our ex-friend Righteous”.

Altoids? Never heard of 'em.

::runs into thread and hugs andygirl::

We’ll break you of this habit yet . . . just you wait until the tenth.

::runs out of thread, but not before smackingRighteous::

Hey, why not kick a dog while s/he’s down?:innocent:

Since their message is The Gift That Keeps On Hurting, they must see us as masochists, which is true enough, isn’t it? :smiley:

Now, now, darling. Some of us are sadists.

Punha- what in the world makes you think that I want to give up my habit? It beats smoking.

Does anyone else, at this point, want to knock out the three remaining teeth of that damn elf? Arrgh!

True, but both spend money better put to other things.

Such as?

My student life is as such: My meals are already paid for. The money I spend on laundry is already paid for. I have a nice, inexpensive stereo system, Napster, a zippy cable connection, long distance, a place to sleep, and all the clothes I really need. Office supplies, such as paper and stamps to write to quietgirl… all of these things come from a declining balance account.

I can get free porn, free food at least three times a week, access to any magazine and many movies/DVDs I want via the library, and access to any matter of illegal things should I so choose.

What is there to spend money on besides altoids?

Now, keep in mind that I and my family are working our butts off to pre-pay for this stuff, but hey…

<exits with tongue planted firmly in cheek>

Dunno… I’m a Starlight Mints man myslef… used to work at a hotel, where I could steal em by the gross… well, that and drambuie (hic)…

andygirl, you can breathe now. It looks like the elf has gone. I hope all of you supported our SDMB advertiser by clicking on the link once, and andygirl will doubtless up her habit to two tins a day. Everybody’s happy.

The elf lives . . . or so it did when I loaded this thread.

Maybe it’ll have changed by the time I post this.




Hey, what’s this on the back of my head? It’s what’s left of my hair standing straight out from the WHOOSH. Is that “You ought to be circumcised” or “Given the fact that Mrs. O likes Cinnamon Altoids, it is likely that you are circumcised”? Either way I don’t see what my dick has to do with what my wife prefers to put in her mouth.

As far as BREATH MINTS are concerned, ya pervs! :rolleyes:

Hey, I like cinnamon ones too! They’re CLEARLY the best. I hate the peppermint ones. Too damn strong. :slight_smile:

andygirl: You can beat the Altoids habit. I was a two-pack-a-week guy once. It was in high school. And everybody laughed at me because no one else had heard of Altoids. And I could only get them from one place. But still I’d go there every week, cash in hand, waiting for The Man (aka Mr. Woolworth). Oh that peppermint sensation. It was such a rush. Soon everything else became unimportant. Food. Friends. Family. All in hock to that little rectangular tin with the raised lettering. There was one terrible week when I was out of cash. I tried freebasing peppermint oil but it wasn’t the same. I needed that hit.

But then one day I stood up for myself. “Duke,” I said, “you’re leading yourself down the path of destruction! This has to stop and stop now!” It was tough, I’ll tell you. I went cold turkey and it was hell on earth. I didn’t touch anything vaguely minty for weeks. One day at a time, that was all I could do.

Then it happened. I was free! A new man. And I was proud of myself.

Someday, andygirl, this could happen to you. Just think of the benefits. Why, two packs at 79 cents a week–you’d be saving $1.78 a week! Think of what you could buy with that! Someday, you’ll be able to fund a children’s hospital with the money you’ve saved on Altoids. And when those sick children look at you with joy and thankfulness in their hearts, you’ll be able to say to yourself, “It was all because I broke the Altoids habit.”

Cinnamon Altoids are FAR superior to both peppermint and wintergreen varieties.

And that, my friends, is all.

Duke- my sympathies, but I can quite anytime. <screams at the sky> Anytime, do you hear me?

Two packs a week? Lightweight.

As noble as it is to support the starving orphans… don’t the fine employees at Callard and Bowser have children, too? Think of the children!

Olent- my apologies for the woosh factor. I was just being snarky. I mean, really… cinnamon? That almost belongs in the TMI thread.

Falcon, I shall bring a tin to the DC Dopefest and see if I can convert you. Minty goodness, oh yes.

I just saw the Altoids ad for the first time today. Kinda made me go “hm.”

Got a question, though.

While I have had plenty of experience in (ahem) orally pleasuring males, the Altoids/oral sex connection is one that seems to have passed me by (most likely because I’m married). Anyhoo, could one of you kind folk please explain this one to me, without too much pointing and laughing? I’d appreciate it. Thanks. :slight_smile:

Just a few reactions:

Arnold, that’s the worst you’ve ever been insulted and you’re a mod?! (reflective pause) Actually, are all you’re friends Twinkies? You’re not really a Carmelite nun or sumpin’, are ya?

I love Altoids; they were the only things that helped during my many attempts at smoking cessation. The peppermint types were rivalled only by sucking on cloves–for the same reason. I didn’t gain weight because the flavors were so pungent and lasting food tasted funky.

So for eye-watering, lasting, pure-mint rush, the peppermint rules. I prefer the wintergreen because their taste is gentler, and they don’t have the nuclear, sinus-clearing effects of the peppermint.

I loathe the taste of cinnamon–it’s bearable only in small quantities–so that takes care of that issue!


Just for that I’m dumping a Big Tin of cinnamon in your car when you’re not looking.

You want TMI, kiddo? Here’s TMI. No, I’m not. :stuck_out_tongue: