Hey, I thought you were “out”. Add lying to the fucking asshole THIEF.
Anyway, take your toys (or are they someone elses?) and go on home where you can pretend this never happened.
“Well, *double *dumbass on you!” - Cpt. Kirk
The masses? Three or four childish dolts with whom there is longstanding enmity is more like it. Like numerous other posters have said, there is no rational reason to belive that I plagiarized that post, especially in view of my explanations for it. Bricker, for example, did feel that it might be construed that I was passing off the post as mine but he also seemed to accept the explanation and regard it as honest.
I need to get out of here so I’ll say this:
To those of you with honest and reasonable intent who viewed my presentation of the OP as an attempt to pass it off as my own, I apologize for the confusion over it and for not having had the foresight to attribute it as having been received by email.
To those of you with disingenuous and biased intent, or who are merely using this kerfluffle to hector me because of pre-existing enmity toward me or my posts, you can go pound sand. (And I think you know where.)
Thanks. I retract my prior characterization of you as an unapologetic plagiarist.
You’ll be needing this mallet (hands mallet to MsWhatever) when you go pound sand. Funnels not allowed.
Just a few thoughts…
To be or not to be, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them.
To die, to sleep; no more; and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to — 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep; to sleep, perchance to dream.
Ay, there’s the rub, for in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause.
There’s the respect that makes calamity of so long life, for who would bear the whips and scorns of time, th’oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, the pangs of despised love, the law’s delay, the insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th’unworthy takes, when he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear, to grunt and sweat under a weary life, but that the dread of something after death, the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller returns, puzzles the will, and makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, and thus the native hue of resolution as sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought, and enterprises of great pitch and moment with this regard their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action.
Construed another (and far less disingenuous) way: even Bricker, while being unable to denounce you entirely due to long-standing sympathy for your hopelessly impaired political and cultural views, had to concede that your OP was unambiguously plagiarized.
Folks, I ID plagiarists for a living–this tactic is usually rejected by pimply sophomores as unworthy of their mature judgment. Yes, yes, there are expressions and phrases so famous that they can often be referenced without explicit documentation. It would be nice if there were any attempt at all to show that** SA**'s OP was universally recognizable at first glance.
Not even a good try, really.
Starving Artist, I do not believe that you deliberately intended for everyone to interpret the OP as your own work. All the same, you were vastly mistaken in your assumption that everyone would recognize it as a copy-and-paste. I did recognize it as satire, of course, both because of your disclaimer, and because I found the “humor” to be somewhat heavy-handed, something I tend to associate with tone-deaf partisans.
I’ll be candid: as a skilled worker for the United States Postal Service, my first reaction was offense. Had I not read the posts that pointed out the provenance of the satire, I would have been prepared to take you to task quite strongly for your mean-spirited composition. The thread title? I saw it as part and parcel of the satire itself, and in no way did it serve as a signpost that it was not your work. It seems clear that I was not the only member of your audience to fail to pick up on that cue.
I’m not going to join in the cries of “Plagiarist!”, because I believe that you really did not see the need for any further hints as to who didn’t write that. To that degree, any plagiarism you committed was accidental. I am going to repeat that you were grievously mistaken about which hints were needed, and in a true academic setting, the “accidental” nature of the transgression would not have been sufficient to excuse it.
I hope you’ll be more careful in the future. Good day to you.
Why, no! The very OP has references to the ruthless oppression of the working class by the running jackals of Wall Street! Its alluded to in every paragraph, clear as day! Anybody can see that, so I don’t have to point out exactly where.
And besides, I have to feed the cat…
I have seen no group claim victim status for themselves more often than conservatives.
If they have, it’s only because they were forced to by relentless liberals doing some unrelentingly liberal thing.
Nobody becomes a Whiny Ass Titty Baby all on their own.
I shall indeed. Thank you.
And I’ll add, with regard to postal workers I almost changed that part of the post myself, and not because I feared offending any SDMB postal workers (though that in itself would be a worthwhile reason) but because my experience with postal workers has been that they are indeed knowlegeable and helpful and know their stuff. But then I thought, what about auto workers and warehouse home improvement stores, etc., and realized I’d have to change all of the workers listed, and then what would I change them to and wouldn’t those workers be just as offended. So in the end I decided to just go with it and count on the fact that it was a parody and not meant to be taken seriously.
If it’s any consolation, it was your post about how the only way people could vote Republican is if they were evil (the last of several along that same vein by other posters) that was the tipping point that triggered my well-known post railing against liberals and the enmity enmity I’ve had to deal with as a result. So hopefully we’re even. 
To be strictly fair, you should amend that with the additional words “with less justification”. Lots of groups claim a status of victimization, some wholly justified, some less so.
And then we have people whose political philosophy has strangled our national discourse for loathe, these many years, sniveling about media bias and the liberal’s ruthless exploitation of facts. Different order of magnitude: Geico Gecko, Godzilla.
This is not only arguable but beside the point. It’s liberal leaders and Democrat politicians who look to convince people that they’ve been somehow victimized by society, or, hell, even life itself – this so as to justify more confiscatory government taxation and spending and regulation over our lives.
(And yes, I’m back. Too cold and windy for the work I had in mind.)
Whoa, there, big horse! Another can of worms being opened. In the Snope’s versions and the* Onion *original, there was no mention of auto workers. Which leads us to presume that someone altered the text to make it more timely and to toss in a little extra snark at auto workers.
Was that your amendation, then? Or your sister’s? Or her anonymous glurge source? And did you amend the text to make it a hysterical diatribe against homosexual chihuahuas? (Its right there in the text, anybody can see it, its alluded to in every paragraph…)
Different order of magnitude, indeed. Without conservative resistance we’d all be paying 95% of our paychecks in taxes to a government that pays $50 dollars for hammers and $400 for toilets and refuses badly needed forms of medical treatment because said treatment exceeds or does not qualify within the parameters it has magnanimously set up for our care.
Perhaps you missed the half dozen times I said I copied and pasted it exactly as I got it.
I thought the $400 toilet seat supposedly happened under Reagan. Damn that liberal tax-and-spend bastard!
And frankly, $50 isn’t extravagant for a hammer.
Yes. If nothing else over the past 8 years, we are at least all grateful to the conservatives for their stalwart opposition to corruption and fiscal mismanagement, and we bask in our unimpeded access to desired medical care.
I’d pay $50 for a bag of hammers, though, because it would be as capable as the OP.