I've seen the future, and this is it:

[Starving_Artist]

Disclaimer: In accordance with “Pit Rules” per Lynn Bodoni; post 2, line 4: Parody. Not to be taken seriously…yet.

Washington, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans.The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. ‘Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,’ said California Senator Barbara Boxer. ‘We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.’

<snip>

[Tarwater]

God, you’re like my mother.

[woodstockbirdybird]

More like my grandmother. Who is legally brain dead. Make of that what you will. I wouldn’t dream of disobeying the new Pit rules.

[Oakminster]

Yup, this is the future of The Pitsims. For what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful.

[ShibbOleth]

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans—through no fault of their own–do not possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said Clinton, a longtime ANA supporter. “Their lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end busywork: xeroxing documents written by others, fulfilling mail-in rebates for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing bureaucratic forms that nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions of nonabled Americans, the American dream of working hard and moving up through the ranks is simply not a reality.”

“As a nonabled person, I frequently find myself unable to keep up with co-workers who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as an unessential filing clerk at a Minneapolis tile wholesaler last month because of her lack of notable skills. “This new law should really help people like me.”

Don’t know if it’s considered plagiarism to post something, unattributed, that was initially plagiarized. Might just be poetic justice, or the latest GOP shill.

[Starving_Artist]

@ShibbOleth

Don’t know if it’s considered plagiarism to post something, unattributed, that was initially plagiarized. Might just be poetic justice, or the latest GOP shill.

Or it might lead to a VP gig. Who knows?

Still, I got it tonight via email with no attribution. It was copied and pasted here exactly as I got it.

[askeptic]

the best that can be said about you SA is you’re a plagiarist. Funny how you didn’t mention the copy and paste in the OP.

[Starving_Artist]

I didn’t expect anybody to think that written it myself. Remember the thread title: “I’ve seen the future, etc.”? Doesn’t that say to you that it was something I came upon rather than something I wrote myself? :rolleyes:

[Kimstu]

@Starving Artist

I didn’t expect anybody to think that written it myself. Remember the thread title: “I’ve seen the future, etc.”? Doesn’t that say to you that it was something I came upon rather than something I wrote myself?

A word of friendly advice: don’t give up your day job.

[Starving_Artist]

@Kimstu

A word of friendly advice: don’t give up your day job.

BWAHAHA!

Now, having said that, I should probably point out to you again, since you were either too eager to toss my own words back at me or you have difficulties with reading comprehension, that I did not write that gag: it was sent to me by a friend (my sister, actually, but since she doesn’t post here I see no harm in saying so).

Mmkay?

[Kimstu]

@Starving Artist

I did not write that gag

I never thought you did. It’s not your writing skills I was poking fun at, but your presentation skills: apparently you can’t even manage a Pit OP well enough to avoid raising confusion about whether you’re quoting or plagiarizing.

[Starving_Artist]

Whatever. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow so I’m out for now. You’ll have to call yourself an idiot for the rest of the night.*

*Patricia Heaton, Everybody Loves Raymond.

How’s that for attribution?

[Hostile_Dialect]

@Starving Artist

I didn’t expect anybody to think that written it myself. Remember the thread title: “I’ve seen the future, etc.”? Doesn’t that say to you that it was something I came upon rather than something I wrote myself?

What a heaping, steaming load of bullshit. Do you really expect anyone to take this seriously?

Hostile Dialect,
Hostile Dialect, Narcissist

[Rigamarole]

Where did you copy that blatant plagiarization from?

[Lobohan]

Starving Artist is stupid. But he is not a cunt.

[pseudotriton_ruber_ruber]

He’s the poster least like a weaseling, plagiarizing shithead I could possibly imagine.

Regards,

PRR

[Mk_VII]

Gee, where can I get one of those jobs?

[Caught_Work]

@Mk_VII

Gee, where can I get one of those jobs?

Hand or head?

[Baldwin]

@Starving_Artist

I didn’t expect anybody to think that written it myself. Remember the thread title: “I’ve seen the future, etc.”? Doesn’t that say to you that it was something I came upon rather than something I wrote myself? :rolleyes:

I’ve noticed before that disingenuous lies are one of your favorite tactics. Screw you, putz.

ETA: And if you were presenting that as a parody of ADA, then it’s a little behind the times. Do you have any hilarious satire regarding the Iran/Contra hearings?

[Hentor_the_Barbarian]

I can’t say I recall anything more perfect than an OP that makes fun of People of Inability who are talentless, clueless, amd lacking in any skills, and it turns out to be a plagiarized cut and paste job.

Stanley, you just made my day!