Er, um, er… where’s that ‘backpedal’ button?
Esprix
Oh my lord…ROFL.
Well, since matt won’t attack me for it…oh Esprix darling??? 
Great, ignored again. While Falcon and Matt are enjoying Esprix’s undying love, who gets left out of the love equation? Me.
Hmmph!
Goboy, The Invisible Man of the SDMB.
Well, Matt and Esprix, I for one hope for his sake that he’s gay, because he is seriously misinformed about the sexual practices and desires of women. In fact, he has his head so far up his ass on that subject, he could probably use his own teeth for a TugAhoy. You gay guys are his only hope. Well, not you personally, because you’re, y’know, smart. What he needs is gay and dumb. And reeeaaaalllly patient.
Check out his response in this thread. He can’t be for real, can he? I’m scared. Somebody please hold me.
::scuffs high-heeled, leopard-print, marabou-feathered mule:: Aw, shucks…
I’ve been reading pretty much everything in every forum for quite a long time (check my registration date if you don’t believe me) and for once I feel compelled to comment on the vast repository of idiocy that is Jack Dean Tyler.
Frankly, after reading several of his posts, I feel the urge to convey my wishes that he just get the hell off this board, and preferably out of the gene pool in a Darwin Award-winning manner.
How can this man possibly attach so much importance to the status of his penis? Does he have nothing better to do than describe his views to us on the proper way to pleasure the opposite sex, how to restore one’s “uncut” manhood with Tug-Ahoy, and regale us with poetry about how he hates the doctor that circumcised him? Does this man have a life? Does he think that anyone attaches any particular significance to his unsubstantiated “straw man” arguments, which he only occasionally backs up with heavily-biased single sources?
Jack Dean Tyler, your public awaits. Answer these simple questions without mentioning how angry you are that you were circumcised, if you think you can. Otherwise, don’t post crap you don’t know–that’s why my post count is so low. Follow a decent example!
I just want to convey my personal wishes (and possibly those of all the others on this board) that all of your fingers fall off while typing the reply, as well as (possibly) your much-described unit.
One pissed-off lurker weighing in.
I think he is one seriously fucked up dude and I think he is trolling the boards to get masturbatory fodder. For a while I was thinking he was gay but I now think he is hetero and seriously perverted.
He’s getting off on the sexual details he’s managing to get people to share. He’s a repulsive little wart on the underside of life and I am deeply grateful that I live a world away from him.
JDT is a dickhead.
How’s that for abrupt and honest?
You’re 32 also??? I thought you were about 20 or so, since I thought you wrote recently that you were still living with your parents?
Jesus. You’re old, like me. You should feel lucky you can still act so young.
I am still living at home with the 'rents - why the hell do you think I’m moving to San Diego?!?!
And my father has taught me well on how to act young. My sister always delights in the fact that her children know where to go to get costumes, toys, etc. - weird Uncle Esprix!
Esprix
Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there are a lot of 32 year-olds on this board. In fact, the last 3 posters to this thread are 32…
Hmmm, we haven’t heard from our blessed St. Jack in a few. Whatsamatter, Jack - mohl got your tongue?
Me, I’m just going to sit back and dream of the day when I, too, can have the unabashed maniacal joy of mutilating my newborn son so he can grow up just like his dear ol’ dad…
Esprix
I don’t think we should be too hard on JDT. I mean, imagine that you live in a society which systematically mutilates genitals and denies entire generations the possibility of sexual pleasure, a crime worse than murder or rape. Imagine that you’re one of the few people who can see through the propaganda, and understands the magnitude of the injustice that is being perpetuated thousands of times a day.
Could you stay silent? No! You would have a moral obligation as a living, feeling being to go to your computer, log on to AOL, and post message after message to the SDMB, explaining how the only proper way to stimulate a woman’s nipples is to suck really, really hard on her whole breast.
It’s time someone had the courage to fight injustice at its source. (cue stirring music) Bravo, Jack Dean Tyler! Bravo!
::tears slowly slip down Giraffe’s cheek::
Let me just pop in again to say that you would make one kick-ass uncle, Esprix. Hmmm. Uncle Esprix and Aunt Anthracite… more additions to my online family…
>. Let me just pop in again to say that you would make one kick-ass uncle, Esprix. Hmmm. Uncle Esprix and Aunt Anthracite… more additions to my online family…<
Yeah, Uncle Esprix. Rhymes with Uncle Ernie. <hyperventilating> Fiddle about, fiddle about, let me cut your foreskin out.What the fuck does that mean??
I would like to hereby nominate the above statement as The Official Mantra Of People Reading Jack Dean Tyler (TOMOPRJDT).
hmmm. Perhaps repressed Sesame Street-related phobias? “Ernie?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
Or perhaps “Uncle Ernie” is to blame for many of Jackie-boy’s little “quirks.”
No no no! Not that Ernie! He’s talking about Wicked Uncle Ernie from The Who’s Tommy. You know the song:
I’m your wicked Uncle Ernie
I’m glad you won’t see or hear me
As I fiddle about. Fiddle about.
Your mother left me here to mind you,
But I’m gonna circumcize you
As I fiddle about. Fiddle about.
Didn’t you know that Keith Moon was part of the Jewish conspiracy?
I feel the need to post some of the anagrams of foreskin (apox upon whom ever gave me the link to the anagram generator, its consuming a lot of my time):
Sore Fink
Fern is ok
Frisk One
Sir Ken of
Sine Fork
Its clear that the foreskin hasn’t been researched enough. Otherwise we’d know what Sir Ken was of. These evidence prooves that a conspiracy exists to keep the foreskin’s magic powers from being fully understood.