Jackass: Keeping Kids Occupied During the Lazy Days of Summer.

Although this could easily become a Pit-worthy topic, I’m putting it here because I’m not really sure who belongs in the Pit–Jackass or the kids who try to imitate it.

And I’m not really looking for a debate on the issue; I just want to share a little story.

Last night I popped the dogs in the car for a little Summer Evening Ride and went to pick up a pizza for dinner.

I pulled into the parking lot of the pizza joint, and discovered my path obstructed by three teenage boys, who were walking through the parking lot . . .

. . . and would not move out of my way.

Finally, two of them did step aside, but one remained, and continued to stroll slowly and casually Right. In front of. My car.

Little fcker*, I thought, but in the grand scheme of things, I feel far more homicidal when someone steals my parking spot, so on the annoyance scale (1-10), I’d say this incident rated a 4. I continued to drive behind him (meanwhile his two friends stood to the side and called, “Hit him! Just hit him!”, and the dogs were barking wildly) until I came to the first available parking space, and swung into it.

As I parked and shut off the car, the boys approached.

“Can I ask you a question?” said Mr. Little F*cker.

“What’s that?” I asked, opening the car door.

“Will those dogs attack people?” was his query.

“I don’t know,” I lied.* “Are you looking to find out?”

“YES!!!” replied all three boys enthusiastically.

“He really wants to be attacked by a dog,” continued one of the boys, pointing at Little F*cker.

Little F*cker nodded.

I exited the car.

“Um, OK, why do you want to be attacked by a dog . . . ?” I wondered, looking quizzically at Little F*cker.

“We’re making a Jackass movie!” he replied happily, pointing at his buddy, who held up a video camera. “I’ve already gotten my ass kicked by the Maggie Moo’s** Cow, and I’ve been set on fire!!!”

Now he was grinning from ear to ear.

Meanwhile, Video Camera Friend was eyeing my (large) dogs, who continued to bark, through the back window of my car.

“I dunno, Dude,” said VCF, shaking his head and eyeing CornPone (the Sweetest Dog Ever). “That dog looks like he [sic] could kill you.” Then, turning to me, he asked, “What kind of dogs are those?”

Conversation about the dogs ensued, yadda yadda . . . they seemed like nice enough boys, if a little short on brain cells.

Long story short, I told them that my dogs would not be participating in their movie, and went to get my pizza.

I didn’t really offer any editorial commentary on their little movie project, but what the hell . . . ? Whatever happened to Nintendo in the basement and making out in the car? Whatever happened to skinny dipping? Whatever happened to homemade “La Isla Bonita” videos???

Wow. I’m officially an old fart now.

  • The truth is that while I am firmly in the “You Just Never Know” camp when it comes to whether or not a dog will bite/attack (hence I believe one should always take appropriate precautions unless the dog is comatose and devoid of legs and teeth), my best guess is a strong “NO” for one of my girls (who is the Sweetest Dog Ever ™, and a “Maybe, but I doubt it” for the other (she can be a bit of a loose cannon, but she’s also kind of a chicken shit).

** Maggie Moo’s: an ice cream joint next to the pizza joint.

Heh. The mental image of a group of boys remaking “La Isla Bonita” is just tickling me.

My nephew did the same thing, making his own “Jackass” video. But instead of running around trying to get each other killed, they just rode their bikes into bushes, and did a lot of skateboarding and goofing off. The only damage done was to the bushes in my sister’s front yard, which she made them dig up and replace. (The new bushes came out of my nephew’s allowance, so at least she took away the funding for more video tapes.)

I can’t say much, but I did a lot of stupid shi…tuff when I was a kid. I mean, jumping off of buildings, dodging cars, attempting to ride a skateboard down a long flight of stairs, etc. Kids will always do goofy stuff; they always have. It’s just that Johnny Knoxville and crew capitalized on the idea of videotaping it and make piles of money off it.

You should have known the boys I knew in high school. :wink:

Wonder if any of them still has that video . . .

You’re right, and perhaps I’m just becoming more alarmist in my old age.

But really, I don’t have a major issue with adolescents (of a certain age) drinking (in moderation and no driving afterwards) or having (safe and consensual) sex. But setting each other on fire and trying to get attacked by dogs . . . ? On videotape . . . ?

Dude. Madonna is so much less painful.

Honestly, I don’t think Jackass is the reason. My friends and I set things on fire and videotaped it when I was a kid. We just didn’t have catchy name for it. And there were always idiots doing worse stuff too. If a kid is stupid enough to set himself on fire, he’s gonna do something equally stupid even if he never saw the show.

gonzoron, you do have a point. I’ve always thought it was pretty much bullshit to place all of the blame TV (or video games, or what have you) for the fact that some kid tried to blow up his neighbor’s car.

But even if the show isn’t responsible for the idea to film yourself getting attacked by a dog, it has given the idea a name.

And a certain cachet, if you will.

Did you not see Shanghai Surprise or Desperately Seeking Susan?

Surely, then, you don’t know what pain is. :eek:

I did see Desperately Seeking Susan . . . sort of.

I was 14, and had arranged a clandestine meeting with my little boyfriend (who was desperately seeking other things) at the movie theatre . . .

. . . which is what these young whippersnappers of today should be doing!

Groping in the movies is what I call good, clean fun. :smiley:

But would you have filmed yourself having the good, clean fun? You gotta give props to these future Darwin Awards winners (if not at least runners-up) having the courage (or lack of basic common sense) to actually want to publicize their bids for early graves.