James Deen Is Not Sleeping With Lindsay Lohan, And Neither Am I! What About You?

I came across this article in the Huffington Post in which porn star James Deen announces that he is not sleeping with Lindsay Lohan, and it struck me: I’m not sleeping with Lindsay Lohan either!

Granted, Mr. Deen is playing Ms. Lohan’s lover in the movie “The Canyons,” and so is slightly more acquainted with Ms. Lohan than I, who am entirely unacquainted with Ms. Lohan, yet I remain steadfast in maintaining that I am not sleeping with her. I want that understood!

What about you? Are you sleeping with Lindsay Lohan? Or not? Perhaps you would care to explain the circumstances under which you are not sleeping with Lindsay Lohan. The world needs to know!

(Seriously, you KNOW it’s a slow news day when the gossip rags run headlines about who is not sleeping with who!)

I am proud to say that I am not sleeping with Lindsay Lohan. I’ve seen her many a Saturday night (my workplace sometimes shows Freaky Friday to the clients), but she’s never even acknowledged my presence.

I gave that babe the flip-off. Too much hassle.

Honestly I find the news that Lohan Isn’t sleeping with someone more shocking than news that she is. Same is true for finding out that celebrity couples are happily married, and that 80’s and 90’s has-beens and child stars aren’t pathetic alcoholics/addicts.

Well, I’m no pornstud, but not only am I not involved with Lindsay Lohan (or Tara Reid, or Christina Aguilera or Nicky Hilton), I have never checked in or out of New Horizons or the Betty Ford Clinic, gone drinking with Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson or the Hoff, nor punched Ashton Kuchner’s face.

Y’know, sounds like a pretty good life! :wink:

I AM sleeping along with Lindsay Lohan, or at least, our time zones are pretty close so I imagine at the very least our sleep schedules intersect sometimes.

So** EvilCaptor**, does that mean you have stopped sleeping with Lindsay Lohan? (Yes or no answer, please).

No. I mean yes! I mean, no!

It means I continue my policy of not sleeping with Lindsay Lohan in light of our total non-acquaintance!

I am not sleeping with Lindsay Lohan.

I am, however, sleeping with Ali Lohan.

It’s okay, I won’t tell everyone about that time in Tijuana if you don’t.

Well, this explains why my 14 year old daughter asked me who James Dean was last night.

I don’t think I gave her the correct answer.

You might be concerned if your 14 year old daughter is interested in the porn star James Deen. He does a lot of work for kink.com. I do hear he has quite a following among teen women. Interesting to get verification, though.

Very, very, very NSFW link to Kink’s listing of James Deen’s ouevre:

Really, don’t openthis link unless you have some privacy.

Thanks. Not clicking at work.

I am.


I mean really alot.

Probaly far more than I should.

I’m not sleeping with Lindsay Lohan.

No, wait, hold on…

Nope, false alarm. It was just a ferret.

I am not sleeping with Lindsay. She’s pretty enough, but I suspect there’s way too much melodrama goin’ on around her.

As a gentleman, I’ll neither confirm nor deny.

Yes, I am sleeping with Lindsay Lohan. No, I am not enjoying it.

Well, yes, yes I am sleeping with Lindsay Lohan. Every time I go to sleep, there I am. One is always sleeping with oneself.

Oh, wait, never mind, I’m taller and not Irish-Californian. Probably not actually Lindsay Lohan, then; just freckly. Carry on.

I’m not sleeping with Lindsay Lohan either. I mean, what with all of our constant and frenzied lovemaking, who has time to sleep?