You could say Boku no chinkara okiidaiyo!
I have absolutely no idea what that means, except that my ex, who was fluent in Japanese, taught it to me, and then told me to never use it. He said people’s reactions would not be positive. So I apologise profusely if I’ve just said something horrific… but I also kind of want to find out what the hell I just said.
The only curse word I know of is Kuso! Which I suppose you could use if you hit your thumb with a hammer.
That’s true, I mean the kid who is taught that “shut up” is a “bad word” will figure things out when all his friends laugh at him, and he’ll move on to “cocksucker” by 4th grade. But as far as parenting goes, I think there’s a trend toward more restrictiveness. When I was growing up I never heard that “shut up” is a bad word; now I heard this more commonly. In fact there was a Pit thread a month or so ago about a lady who made her kid swallow hot sauce whenever he said “hate” because it was a “bad word”. I think this is part of a trend toward restrictiveness in parenting regarding what are “bad words” and what arent’.
It looks to me like it’s supposed to be “Boku no chinpo ookiidayo” (My dick is big). I guess chinkara could be a real slang term for penis that I’ve never heard, though.
I’d go with chikusho; *shimatta * seems kind of tame to me. Of course, in the quoted senerio, I help the natives’ English hearing skill. “Shit!” “Fuck!” “Dammit”
Note that boku is “I” and only said by males. I’ll run this sentence by the staff at work tomorrow, but to my gaijin ears, it sounds like your ex wasn’t native Japanese.
And a note of caution. Women use this much more frequently than guys do, so men should use this with care, unless they want to sound gay.
No, not native, just fluent - and I am most definitely not fluent, so I may have misspelled and/or misremembered something. I woke up this morning thinking, “…or was it chinkawa?”
cckeroberos, your translation sounds like something typical of what he would say or teach me - as for the weird slang, I have no idea. Again, could easily be my misremembering.
And I suppose you could say that if you hit your thumb with a hammer, but it seems a little on the egotistical side. 
I was gonna suggest chikusho based on my extensive experience with manga. :rolleyes: I also see kuso a lot but rarely shimatta. But that’s mostly for males int he company of other males, I’ve not noticed what women say…
chikusho or kuso do mean shit, but when said about something you have done, it’s not as rude as shit. My ten year old kid has said it in front of his teacher who never batted an eyelid. And I had a teacher I worked with drop slide after slide as he was getting ready for a presentation, with an English “Shit!” after each slide hit the floor. Finally I had to tell him that it wasn’t really acceptable in a work environment - he said that “kuso!” said to himself when he was clearly being a klutz was fine in Japanese.
Omanko is a funny one because it’s got the honorific at the beginning but it’s bloody rude! It refers to a bean jam bun because of how they look when broken in half. My ignorant peasant MIL uses “Omanju” and thinks by changing one syllable that’s OK. Cringe.
Ah, that was the one that was nagging at the back of my mind. Couldn’t get it to come out when I wrote my last post. My girlfriend says that after she sneezes, so I kind of associated it with that, I think. I don’t use Japanese for those kind of situations, which is why I figured someone else would have a more thorough list.
That can be true, but it also depends on the situation. I mostly see people at work since I don’t socialize that much, and just about everyone I’ve seen who gets pissed off at school is more likely to use that method of expressing anger to someone of similar social status. They yell at the kids, they get really polite with each other.
That social convention actually fits in quite well with my personality. One of my ex-girlfriends told me that I am truly frightening when I’m really angry because I get very cold, very precise, and abnormally polite. She said I reminded her of Hannibal Lector when I was that mad. I think it’s because I’m controlling myself so tightly that I get a predator-like lack of body language.
Off topic, but in my household, being mean was a thousand times worse than being crude. Even today, I’d tell my mother to “pass the fucking butter” before I’d even dream of telling her to “shut up”.
I didn’t really have time to go over this last night, but I talked to the native Japanese staff today.
While this sentence is not gramatically incorrect, per se, (except that i-adjective do not take a “da” directly, there’s also the “n” which is missing)there really isn’t a situation where a native would say it. First, boku is used by men when they are not being crude; and bragging about the size on one’s dick is not generally on Miss Manner’s approved list of dinner conversations in polite society. *Ore * is the cruder masculine form for “me” which would be more appropriate for the subject matter. In that case, they would tend to say dekkai “huge” instead. Japanese tends to left off words which are understood by both parties, so you would get something like ore no ha dekkai n da yo “Mine is huge.”
Going back to using the various levels of politness as swear words, the drunks and young people who get into fights or shouting matches will often use *omae * for you. Since this word implies that the other person is several levels below them, when used with a stranger to whom one should be polite, it’s as good as telling them to fuck off.